Without being vulnerable to attack.
If only she could whisk her daughter out of town for the weekend, back to California so that Penny could visit her dad or Disneyland. But a last-minute flight would cost a small fortune and a great deal of disappointment. Ruth and her mother had sold Penny on the events of the holiday weekend, beginning with the Lions Club pancake breakfast around two hours from now. People came from a hundred miles away to see the Fourth of July parade. Prairie Creek did it right.
Ruth yawned, raking her hair back with one hand. She hadn’t slept at all last night, too afraid to close her eyes, but she couldn’t stand guard at this window forever.
After the breakfast, the parade would overtake Main Street—a western-style parade with plenty of horses, cowboys and cowgirls, and American flags. Probably an old stagecoach and a surrey with the fringe on top, just like in the song. There’d be classic cars and local politicians. Maybe some guy dressed as Uncle Sam on stilts and another one dressed as Abe Lincoln. Half the kids in town would be riding at the tail end of the parade on bikes decorated with red, white, and blue ribbons and streamers.
Ruth would be sure to keep Penny at her side every single moment.
After dark, some people would head up to the ridge road to watch fireworks over the valley. Penny loved fireworks, but Ruth didn’t think she could bear the feeling of vulnerability, surrounded by strangers in the dark.
On Sunday, everyone would head over to the fairgrounds for a barbecue, country music, and a rodeo exhibition—a taste of the events to come the following weekend when the rodeo came to town. Maybe she could talk Penny out of that part?
Either way, she couldn’t go on like this.
She had to come clean with her parents, the cops, even with her kid. And she would have to tell Ethan everything . . . or as much as he wanted to know. Right now, any involvement with her was a liability, and she wanted to make sure he knew the risk before things went any further. Maybe he would want to back off.
She let out a groan as her head lolled back against the chair cushion. There were definitely going to be fireworks this Fourth.
It was time to talk to Kat. Time to get it out there. Everything that had happened. Her pulse raising, she called the non-emergency number Sheriff Featherstone had given her.
“I’m trying to reach Detective Starr. Kat Starr?”
“She’s not in yet, but we’re expecting her shortly. It’s all hands on deck on a day like this. You want me to put you through to her voice mail to leave a message?”
Ruth hesitated. “No. No, thanks. I’ll catch her another time.”
She rose from the chair, stretching as she stared out at the bushes across the street. In the light of day, the landscape of the small park and the street of two-story homes seemed safe and tidy. Grabbing her robe, she headed into the bathroom for a quick shower.
*
On the short drive to her parents’ house, Ruth brought up the topic. It was sort of the coward’s approach, dropping the bomb during casual conversation in the car, but she hoped the relaxed atmosphere would get the message across without alarming Penny.
“You know that Mommy used to live here when she was in high school?” she began. “Back when I was a teenager, something bad happened. A man hurt me.”
“What did he do?”
“Let’s just say he was a bad guy, like Hans in Frozen.” A turncoat villain.
“Mean and sneaky,” Penny said.
“Exactly. He got away, and in my case the police never found him, so he wasn’t punished.”
“Oh. Are you mad at him, Mom?”
“I am, but mostly I want the police to find him.” Ruth glanced at her daughter in the rearview mirror. Absolutely unfazed. “I just wanted to let you know in case you hear the police or my parents talk about it. Because they’re still trying to catch the bad guy.”
“Okay.” This made sense in an eight-year-old world. Penny was cool. “I hope they catch him, Mom.”
“I do too.”
The outdoor pancake breakfast went well, probably because Ruth was too exhausted to talk much, which allowed her parents a chance to shine and show off their granddaughter to anyone who stopped by their table. Buoyed by coffee and pancakes, Ruth was beginning to feel strong enough to make it through the day when she spotted Kat Starr working with the security detail at the edge of the park.
She turned to Bev, who was talking to a mother of one of the other girls playing on the swings. “Stay with Penny for a minute, okay?” she asked.
“Of course.”
Although her heart was thrumming in her chest, it brought her some relief to think that this whole mess was spiraling to an ending. Soon the secrecy would be over.
Kat’s petite frame seemed somehow substantial in her deputy’s uniform. Her dark hair was tied back in a twist, adding to her intensity. She acknowledged Ruth and stepped away from the other deputy. “Ruth.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t returned your calls. I couldn’t. I wasn’t ready.”
Kat accepted that. “The chief told me about your intruder last night.”
“It was him,” Ruth said under her breath. “The man who raped me. It was him.” Kat frowned and seemed about to argue the fact, so Ruth rushed on. “I know that sounds paranoid, but he’s after me.” A sudden stab of emotion thickened her throat, infuriating Ruth. After all these years, she should be able to talk about her attacker without getting all choked up. “That was him last night.”
“Could you identify him? Are you sure? It’s been—”
“I know, fifteen years. Look, I can’t talk right now, and . . . I don’t mean to sound desperate, but maybe I am. The news about Courtney and Addie was bad enough, but now, to think that I’m a target . . . I’m going to put the truth out there, Kat. I’ve got to. I just need the weekend to tell my folks and . . .” Ruth was going to say “your brother,” but she said instead, “Just another day or two, and then we’ll talk. I don’t know who it is, but I have a few ideas. I’ve been profiling and compiling a list of suspects.”
“Ruth, that’s our job. You don’t need to do that.”
“It’s already done. I did it for my own protection— for myself and my kid. I’m not just profiling my rapist. I’m thinking of the man who attacked Courtney and Addie too.”
Kat glanced over at the children on the swings. “I’m glad to hear you agree there might be a connection. That’s why I want you to go on the record about your assault. But don’t jump to conclusions, Ruth. You’re not working the investigation. There are facts of the case that you’re not taking into account . . .”
“I’m dealing with it in my way, okay? I’ll call you when I’ve got things settled at home, and then I’ll come in and make a statement.”