“There will be sparks,” I finished. “I know. Fucking Syd and his goddamn blackmail threats.”
“So it is true?” the nurse asked. “I’m not judging, just . . . I’ve seen you in magazines. I always thought you did good work.”
I shrugged. “I think that part of my life is over now. Not too many designers will want the bad press.”
The nurse nodded and turned back to the doors. “If you love him, then you’ll make it,” she said. “We’re here.”
The doors dinged open to absolute chaos. The press had somehow beaten the ambulance to the emergency room, and the staff was having a hard time controlling the mob. One of the reporters saw me, and even before the doors were fully closed, I was swarmed like vultures to a carcass.
“Do you have a statement, Alix?”
“What led you to sleeping with your brother?”
“Is the video legitimate?”
“Do you think the video caused Derek’s collapse?”
The nurse tried to push the media parasites back in a futile attempt, until one of the security guards forced his way through. Sandwiching me in between them, they got through the throng to one of the exam areas, which was at least behind the security barrier. The guard stayed by my side until the lights of the ambulance came in and the media mob pulled away.
Three police officers escorted the ambulance into the emergency room, forcing their way through along with one of the paramedics, while the doctors leapt into action. I was able to watch as they took him into an exam area, wires and things already running from his chest. Mom was right behind, looking as shell-shocked as I felt.
The nurse, still with me, stayed next to me as I made my way toward the area where they were treating Derek. The doctors pushed everyone out, yanking the curtain closed and cutting off all view of what they were doing, shutting me out. Mom saw me and turned away when I came closer. I reached, but the nurse put a hand on my shoulder, shaking her head. “Mrs. Prescott, we can wait in the exam room over here,” she said to Mom instead, letting the security guard walk with me the few feet back. “Come on, we’ll just be in the way here.”
Mom followed the nurse, who stayed with us in the exam room, which was just a partitioned curtain. Still, the space felt eerily quiet after the chaos of the media scrum. I sat down on the stool, my head in my hands as we waited, Mom saying nothing the whole time.
My ears were aware the whole time to a single sound, the sound of the steady whine that meant that Derek’s heart wasn’t beating. The doctors must have been trying everything, because every once in a while there were a few beeps, but not enough. After what seemed like an eternity, the monitor was shut off, and Mom grew very calm. The entire treatment area was dead silent except for the squeak of the doctor’s shoes coming toward the waiting area.
The doctor pulled back the curtain, her face somber. “Mrs. Prescott, I’m sorry. Your husband . . . there was nothing we could do.”
Mom sat still as a statue, nearly unhearing until I saw a tremble in her shoulder that moved to the side of her face, then to her cheek. In almost slow motion her face cracked, her eyes filling with wild grief that left her sobbing, her face in her hands. “Derek, oh my Derek . . . ” she bawled. “No, not Derek.”
“Mom . . . ” I said, trying to come next to her. I couldn’t even complete my words though as Mom sprang to her feet and slapped me, cutting me off cleanly.
“You . . . you killed him,” she said coldly.
Mom turned and stormed out of the room, leaving me stunned before the world blurred before me, and my own tears started to fall down my face.
* * *
The next thing I was really aware of was a hand resting on my shoulder, and a quiet voice talking in my ear. “There you are, Alix. I’ve been looking all over for you for the past three hours.”
I was outside, not knowing how in the hell I got to where I was, or even where that happened to be. My eyes wouldn’t lift from the dark patch of grass between my feet, dimly illuminated by something behind my right shoulder. “Go away.”
“No can do, Alix,” the voice said again. “I’ve got orders. I’m to watch over you and keep you safe.”
“Who cares? I’m a killer, don’t you know that?” I muttered, staring at my palms. At some point, I’d dug my fingernails into my palms so deeply that there were bloody half-moons inscribed in each hand. “See? I’ve got the blood on my hands and everything.”
“You’re in shock and scared,” the voice said. I could hear that it was a woman’s voice, but that was all I could tell. My circuits were still scrambled, and I wasn’t putting two and two together well enough to make sense of what my surroundings were. “Come on, Princess, it’s after midnight. Let’s go inside.”