Shaking her head, she settled back against the couch and appeared to be letting everything sink in. “Do you want me to leave?”
Her gaze lifted to mine. “No. You don’t have to. I mean, I’m not doing anything, and if you have nothing to do, you can stay or whatever…”
I felt like I had just won a major battle. Slowly, I looked away, my gaze falling to the shiny red laptop sitting on the coffee table. “I see someone got something for her birthday.”
“Yeah, Mom got it for me. I’ve been without since…well, since then.”
I scratched my cheek. “Yeah, I didn’t apologize for that, did I?”
“No,” she sighed.
“That’s never happened before, the whole blowing-stuff-up part,” I admitted after a moment.
“Same here.”
Staring at the TV, I relaxed a little. “It happened with Dawson, in a way. It was how Bethany found out.” I paused, fighting a smile. “He was making out with her and lost control. Turned full Luxen while kissing her.”
“Yikes. That had to be…”
“Awkward?”
“Yeah, awkward.”
Silence fell between us, and my mind immediately went to what it had been like kissing Kat—touching her. Nothing in this world or beyond had been as…freaking amazing as that.
She tugged on the neckline of her sweater. “Dee said you guys had moved a lot. How many different places?”
Change of subject was a good idea. “We stayed in New York for a while, then we moved to South Dakota. And if you think nothing goes on here, you haven’t lived in South Dakota. Then we moved to Colorado before coming here. I was always the one who provoked the change in scenery. It’s like I was looking for something, but none of those places had it.”
“I bet New York was your favorite place.”
“Actually, it’s not. It’s here.”
Kat laughed. “West Virginia?”
“It’s not that bad. There are a lot of us here. More so than any other place. I have friends who I can be myself with—a whole community, really. That’s important.”
“I can understand that.” She rested her chin on her pillow. “Do you think Dee is happy here? She makes it sound like she can’t leave. Like, ever.”
Shifting, I lifted my legs and stretched them out. “Dee wants to pave her own way in life, and I can’t blame her for that. If you haven’t noticed yet, there are more males than females. So the females are paired off very quickly and protected above all.”
She made a face. “Paired off and mated? I understand it—you guys need to reproduce. But Dee can’t be forced to do that. It’s not fair. You should control your own lives.”
I met her stare. “But we don’t, Kitten.”
“It’s not right,” she said passionately, as if she wanted to take up arms and defend our rights.
“It’s not. Most Luxen don’t push for anything different. Dawson did. He loved Bethany.” I exhaled raggedly. “We were against it. And I thought he was stupid for falling for a human. No offense.”
“None taken.”
“It was hard for him. Our group was upset with him, but Dawson…he was the strong one.” I smiled as I shook my head. Damn, that was so true, and I never gave him enough credit for that. “He didn’t cave, and if the colony had discovered the truth, I don’t think they would’ve changed him.”
“Couldn’t he have left with her, sneaked past the DOD? Maybe that’s what happened?”
“Dawson loved it here. He was big on hiking and outdoors. He was into the whole rustic-living thing.” I glanced at her. “He’d never leave, especially without telling Dee or me. I know both of them are dead.” My smile spread a little. “You would’ve liked Dawson. Looked just like me but a much better guy. Not a douche bag, in other words.”
“I’m sure I would’ve, but you’re not bad.”
I arched a brow.
“Okay, you’re prone to moments of great dickdom, but you’re not bad.” She paused, squeezing the pillow tight. “Do you want to know what I honestly think?”
“Should I be worried?” I asked warily.
Kat laughed. “There’s a really nice guy under the jerk. I’ve seen glimpses of him. So while I probably want to beat the crap out of you most of the time, I really don’t think you’re a bad guy. You have a lot of responsibility.”
Well then…
I tilted my head back. “Well, I guess that’s not too bad.”
“Can I ask you a question and you tell me the truth?” she asked.
“Always.”
She reached around her neck and pulled the piece of obsidian out. She held it in her hand. “The DOD is a bigger concern than the Arum, isn’t it?”
A muscle tensed along my jaw. “Yes.”
She ran a finger over the wire twisted at the top of the crystal. “What would they do if they knew I was moving things like you do?”
She’d spoken my earlier suspicions out loud.