“Good luck, Lexi. I hope your birthday wish comes true.”
After that, they ate their donuts, toasted her birthday again with glasses of milk, and went their separate ways—Eva to a Saturday shift at Walmart, Lexi to the ice cream shop. For the rest of the day, Lexi was in constant motion. On a sunny weekend like this, the shop was crazy busy.
She didn’t slow down again until evening, when Zach and Mia picked her up from work.
Lexi did her best to be cheerful around both of them. She laughed and joked and talked at the dinner table, but when Jude brought out a cake with candles, her fragile veneer cracked a little and it took willpower not to cry or run away.
Next year, she would celebrate her birthday by herself. Mia and Zach would be in sunny Southern California, living the college dream. She wanted to be happy for them, she really did. But she kept glimpsing the future that lay like a storm cloud on the horizon. Oh, they talked about staying in touch and keeping their lives braided together, and their intentions would be as true as their emotions, but it wouldn’t be enough. When she told them about Eva’s Florida offer, they both groaned aloud and begged her not to go so far away. They wanted to see her on school breaks.
Easy for them to ask. But she wanted that, too.
“What’s it gonna be like?” Mia asked that night as the three of them lay together on blankets on the beach. It was the first time one of them had dared to ask the question aloud.
They were holding hands, staring up at the stars.
“I’ve been dreaming about it for so long,” Mia said. “But now that it’s getting close, I’m scared.”
Lexi heard Zach sigh beside her. Because she loved him, she knew what that sound meant: he was stuck in the middle. He loved Lexi—she knew that, believed it with every part of her soul—but he and Mia were more than connected. They were twins, with all that the word implied. They could read each other’s thoughts. And really, one of the things Lexi loved most about Zach was how much he cared about the people he loved. He hated hurting anyone. Mia most of all.
That was why he was going to USC. No matter how much he loved Lexi, he loved Mia and his parents even more. He couldn’t disappoint them. And he worried that Mia was too shy to make it at USC on her own.
“We’ll still be friends forever,” Lexi said. She wanted it to be true, needed it to be.
Beside her, she heard Mia draw in a breath and quietly start to cry.
“Don’t cry,” Zach said.
Sadness rose up in Lexi, and before she knew it, she was crying, too. “We … we’re dorks,” she said, wiping her eyes, and although it was true, and it made her smile, she still couldn’t stop crying. She loved both of them and soon they’d be gone.
“I’m gonna miss you, Lexi,” Mia said. She rolled over and hugged Lexi and then rolled over onto her back again.
Overhead, the night sky loomed, as incomprehensible as their futures; beneath it, Lexi knew how small they were.
Zach pulled his hand out of Lexi’s grasp and said, “I’ll be right back.” Then he got up and hurried back to the house.
“You’ll call me tons, right?” Lexi asked.
Mia squeezed her hand. “We’ll be like Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox. Bffs forever.”
“Sam and Frodo. Harry and Hermione.”
“Lexi and Mia,” Mia said. “Just think: someday we’ll be old together and we’ll laugh about how scared we were to go off to college.”
“Cuz we’ll still be friends.”
“Exactly.”
Lexi fell silent. She’d learned a long time ago that there were things she might want but would never have, and it hurt less if she tried not to want what was unattainable. Was this friendship like that? Was this just a high school friend version of first love that would diminish into a fond memory with time and distance?
Zach ran back, slightly out of breath. He stood above them, a silhouette against the moonlit waves. “Get up.”