“What stopped you?”
She was not going to answer that. She hated the answer, anyway. “I’m worried about Zach, damn it. He’s fragile, like me. He’s never gotten over his guilt … or his grief. To see Lexi again … and what if she wants to be Grace’s mother? I won’t let her be a part of our family again. Oh, God…”
“She’s already a part of your family,” Harriet said.
“Shut up.”
“Excellent retort. By the way, you don’t sound like a woman who feels nothing for her granddaughter.”
Jude reached for her purse, snagged it. “I need to see a lawyer, not a shrink.”
“What makes you think you need a lawyer?”
“I need to protect Grace and Zach. Maybe we need a restraining order…”
“You think keeping Lexi away will protect them?”
“Of course. Have you even been listening to me?”
“Lexi is your granddaughter’s mother,” Dr. Bloom said gently. “You tell me you used to put a lot of store in motherhood.”
Jude reeled back. “I need to get out of here.” Without waiting for a response, she headed for the door. As she wrenched it open, she heard Dr. Bloom say, “She was eighteen years old, Jude. Think about that.”
Jude slammed the door behind her.
Twenty-two
Jude called Miles and asked him to meet her at Zach’s; then she drove straight down to the ferry dock. Her timing was impeccable. They were loading the boat when she got there.
The thirty-minute Sound crossing seemed to take forever. She tapped her fingers nervously on the steering wheel.
She wasn’t sure about anything except this: she had to get to Grace. All she wanted to do right now was gather her family together, as if her arms were the safe place they’d once been. What was left of her family, anyway, what Lexi had left of her family.
Off the ferry, she drove through town slowly, her eyes peeled for a dark-haired girl in Bermuda shorts and a drugstore T-shirt. She thought she saw Lexi a dozen times, and she stomped on the brakes so often that horns honked behind her.
She veered onto Turnagin Way and drove past the elementary school to the day care. There, she got out of the car and strode up to the pretty little A-frame house that was the Silly Bear Day Care. Inside, she found an empty playroom full of brightly colored plastic tables and bean bag chairs.
She went out to the backyard, where a dozen kids were playing on Lincoln Logs–type swing sets, in sandboxes, and in a playhouse. She took it all in at once, and then began looking for Grace, who she knew would be alone.
“Hi, Jude,” said the day care’s owner, Leigh Skitter. They had known each other for years. Leigh’s youngest son had played soccer with Zach. “You’re here early.”
“I don’t see Grace,” Jude said, realizing too late that she hadn’t said hello and that her voice was sharp.
“She’s with Lexi,” Leigh said. “She sure looks different, doesn’t she?”
Jude felt a chill go through her. “You let her see Grace?”
Leigh seemed surprised by the question, or maybe it was Jude’s raised voice. “She said you’d agreed to it. And there’s no restraining order in place, is there? I mean, I know she doesn’t have custody, but we all knew she’d come back someday…”
Why hadn’t Jude thought of this scenario? Leigh Skitter had known Zach and Lexi in their high school days. She’d said on several occasions how much she liked Lexi. No doubt she even felt a little sorry for her. So many people did—when Dateline did their segment on the show, plenty of people piped up to say that Lexi’s punishment had been too harsh. Yeah. Poor Lexi.
Jude felt the start of panic. Why hadn’t they gotten a restraining order against Lexi, just in case? At the very least, she should have told Leigh and the school that Lexi was not to be allowed near her daughter. Didn’t full custody give them that right?