But that never happened. Because Ben died. Along with my mom. And Greg, the only dad I ever knew.
I inherited everything. The house, the cars, and all our possessions. I was only 20 and had no clue what to do with all their stuff. It was too much. I couldn't deal with it, so I told the lawyer handling the estate to sell everything, including the house. Normally a lawyer wouldn't do all that, but he'd been friends with my parents so he did as I asked and arranged for an estate sale and sold the house and gave me a check when it was all said and done.
After the house sold, the lawyer asked if I wanted to see it one last time, but I told him no. I didn't want to go back there, or back to Chicago. Instead, I stayed here. This became my new home. We'd only had two summers here, so there were fewer memories. If I'd gone back and lived in the old house, or even just seen it, the grief would've overwhelmed me. I don't think I would've survived.
My cell phone rings. I slide the sheet pan in the oven, then answer the call.
"Hey, Callie." It's Trina. "What's going on?"
Trina and I only talk a couple times a month and she never calls me at work. And from the awkward inflection in her voice just now, I get the feeling she was put up to this. I glance over at the window to Lou's office and catch him watching me. He quickly looks away, pretending to type on his computer. Freaking Lou! He needs to mind his own damn business.
"Nothing new here," I say to Trina. "How's New York?"
"Same as always. Loud. Crowded." She's trying to make it sound lame so I'll feel better about being here instead of someplace exciting like New York. She always does this. She tries to downplay her exciting life so I won't feel bad. But it's pointless. I know she's loving every second of her life in New York. She has a loft apartment in Greenwich Village that she shares with two other girls. She has a hot, rich boyfriend who graduated from NYU and is now interning on Wall Street. And she's living her dream, working a summer job at a fashion magazine.
"Trina, I know you love it there. It's what you've always wanted to do."
She sighs. "I know. But I do miss home. And I miss you, Cal."
If that were true, she'd call me more. I've given up calling her because she always took forever to call me back, which I assumed was a sign she no longer wanted to be friends. She assured me that wasn't the case and that she was just super busy, but I think the real reason we've drifted apart this past year is because she doesn't want to deal with the new me.
In high school, Trina and I were the type of friends who would party together, go on double dates, and go shopping. We weren't the type of friends who would talk about anything serious. Trina likes to live in a world where everything is perfect and nothing ever goes bad, so when the accident happened, she avoided me. We went from talking every day to talking once a week, if that. I became withdrawn and depressed while she continued on with her life, following her dreams, achieving her goals. Now we're in such different places in our lives that she has no idea how to interact with me. And to this day, she's never mentioned the accident or even asked me how I'm doing.
"I was thinking I'd fly home in a few weeks. I haven't been home since Christmas and I could use a break from here." She pauses. "I thought I'd come stay with you for a few days."
I glare at Lou in his office. He totally put her up to this. He probably even offered to pay for her plane ticket, even though her rich parents can easily afford it. But that's how desperate Lou is to fix me. Having lost his wife in an accident, he should know you can't be "fixed" with a visit from a friend. It doesn't work that way.
"I don't think that's a good idea," I say to her.
"It would just be for a few days. It'll be fun! Just like old times." Her voice rises like she's trying too hard to be enthusiastic about this. She doesn't really want to come here. When she was home last Christmas, I met her for lunch at a town halfway between here and Chicago because I didn't want her coming to my house. It was a horrible lunch. I was agitated because the trip interrupted my strict schedule, and she was agitated because she didn't know what to say to me. It was awkward and I have no need to repeat it.
"How about if we meet in Chicago?" she asks. "I'll get us a hotel downtown and we'll have a girls' weekend."
"I don't think so." I'm still glaring at Lou, who I'm now positive is the cause of Trina's sudden interest in me. He's shuffling papers around his desk, trying to look busy, but I know he can feel me staring at him.
"Come on, Callie. It's been months since we got together and we didn't get much time to talk. This time we'll have all weekend."
"Trina, I have to get back to work. I'll call you later."
"Okay, but I'm coming out there so I guess I'll just plan to stay at your place."
"Wait, what?" I almost drop the phone. "No. You can't come here."
"Why not?"
"Because..." I need a reason. What do I tell her? "The house is a mess. I've been doing some renovations and I can't have people staying there."