Never Let You Go

“We can talk about it when you’re older,” I say softly. “When he’s been out longer.”


“He lied to me,” she says as she stands up. “I’m done giving him a chance.”

“If he approaches you again, you need to be careful how you speak to him. He won’t—”

“Mom, I can handle it.”

Her phone chirps in her pocket and she glances at the screen. “It’s Jared.” She looks up at me. “I’m going to my room, okay?”

She walks out, her shoulders slumped and her arms wrapped around her body. Angus leaps off the bed with a thud, gives me a reproachful look, and trots after her. She didn’t let me finish my warning. Fear slides in around my throat, thick and slimy. The one thing Andrew hates more than losing control is being confronted. When Sophie was a child she idolized him so much, he told me, “She makes me feel like I can do anything, like I’m a superhero.” I don’t know what he’ll do when he realizes he’s lost her forever





CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE


SOPHIE



I’m sitting in my bed with my cell phone in my hand, my back against the headboard and the blankets pulled around me. I should get up and have a shower, make some breakfast, but the thought of food makes my stomach twitch and jump. I tuck my feet under Angus at the end of the bed and rub my cold toes on his belly. He grumbles and shifts his weight but doesn’t move away. I look at the text from Andrew again. How was Christmas? Want to visit this week?

He texted on Christmas Day, wishing me a Merry Christmas, and I answered him, but that was before I knew about the present he left for Mom. I’d hoped I’d have more time to think about what I should text him back, but then he sent this message yesterday. I still haven’t answered. I don’t know how I’m going to tell him I don’t want to see him anymore.

I scroll through my other texts, read the ones from Jared again. We’ve been texting nonstop since his party. When I met him at the mall on Boxing Day, he held my hand and gave me a kiss like we were boyfriend and girlfriend. At first I was embarrassed, but then I decided I liked it. Most boys leave you wondering and play stupid head games, but he’s not like that.

What are you doing? I text him.

Editing photos. You?

I have to text my dad. He’s going to be pissed.

Just call him.

What if he flips out? I’d spent most of the morning wishing I could ignore Andrew and pretend the last couple of months never happened. Then I could go back to the way life used to be—when I didn’t have a father, which wasn’t great, but it was okay. I had my mom. And back then I didn’t have to worry that my dad was going to hurt her if I said one thing wrong.

Just talk to him, Jared texts. Maybe he has a good reason.

That thought scares me the most. What if he makes me believe in him again? No. He can’t explain this one away—he left her a present. On her window. Like they’re in high school! If I text him or try to ignore him, he’ll probably call me anyway, and then it will be even worse.

OK, I’m going for it.

Good luck!

Andrew’s phone rings a bunch of times and I’m about to end the call when he finally picks up. “Yeah?” His voice is a shout and I can hear noises in the background, like saws and machinery and hammers. He must be at the job site. I forgot it was Tuesday already.

“It’s Sophie.”

“Hey, kid, just let me hop into my truck.” I can hear muffled crunching like he’s walking on gravel, then the metal sound of a door closing. “That’s better,” he says. “What’s going on? You okay?” The concern in his voice throws me and I almost chicken out, but then I think that if I really mattered to him, he wouldn’t have screwed up everything.

“Why did you leave Mom that present?”

Silence, then a heavy sigh. “I was hoping it got buried in the snow.”

I wasn’t expecting him to admit anything and don’t know what to say for a moment. “I told you to stay away from her, but you didn’t listen. I don’t want to see you anymore.”

“Hey, slow down and hear me out for a minute.” His voice is firm, a tight grip that holds me in place. “You’d been over at my house and I started thinking about how things could have been if your mom and I had stayed together. Then I found that CD and it reminded me of how good things used to be. I guess I thought maybe if I gave it to her…”

He found it? Could that be true? Maybe he really did have it from years ago. That’s kind of less freaky than him making a new one. “You thought she’d want to get back together?”

“It was stupid, okay? I regretted it the next day, but it was too late.”

“If I told the cops you admitted it was from you, they’d arrest you.”

“You have to do what you feel is right. I just wanted to be honest with you.”

I hate this, hate this impossible choice. I don’t want him to go to jail. I don’t want to be the one who put him there. I need to think.

Chevy Stevens's books