*
I kept quiet on the short ride in his truck, checking on Alex every few minutes. He sat behind us in his little seat, holding a stuffed lion, his favorite toy I'd brought along from home.
God, home. I had about another week before the rent would slip by without getting paid. The greedy old landlord wouldn't wait more than a week after that to dump my stuff and find a new tenant.
I'd left behind everything else. I was never going to see anything that wasn't in my purse or my car again.
But I had Alex, we were both safe, and for now, he was all that mattered.
At the clubhouse, we rolled through a tall metal gate guarded by two grim looking men with prospect patches. Not the same boys who'd greeted me the other day, the first time I'd tried to confront Joker, and talk some sense into him.
“Outside,” he said, pointing to the door out back. “You can wait out there 'til I say it's time. Show Alex my dog.”
Holding the little boy, I pushed open the screen. The big dog laying on the ground instantly perked up when he saw us. Bingo stood up, stretched, and walked over, his tongue hanging out.
I sat down in a deck chair, Alex on my lap, stroking the dog's fur. Baby boy perked up as soon as the giant dog came over, giggling while he dug his hands into his fur.
“Doggie! Doggie!”
“That's right,” I said, finally allowing myself to smile, holding him closer. “You're learning so fast, honey. He's a big one, isn't he?”
“Biiig!” Alex echoed.
Giving in, I let myself smile, watching as he pushed his face into the dog's fur, stroking his sides. Bingo seemed just as happy, letting out a satisfied whine, his tail slapping the air.
These moments were precious, and so rare, especially when every hour might bring hell, ending them all forever.
I hadn't forgotten why we were here.
Hatch was out there. Seething.
He'd come for me – come for us, just like he'd threatened – unless the bastard who had my heart twisted in knots saved us. I hated having to depend on him, almost as much as I hated him for using me to suck his cock.
I wasn't his fucking play thing. But I definitely wasn't his woman either, and I never would be.
“Rowww! Rowww!” Alex interrupted my melancholy thoughts, trying to imitate the dog's sound. I made the same silly noise when I read him his stories, teaching him all about animals.
It shouldn't bother me so damned much. Today, my son was happy and safe. He'd made a new friend to play with, judging by the way the big gray dog wagged his tail.
So, why did I feel so lonely? Abandoned?
Why did I want to punch myself in the face every time I let my eyes wander to Joker at breakfast, still admiring his rock hard body. The fact that he could be so gentle, so patient with Alex only made it harder to stop.
I hugged Alex tighter, my embrace apologizing for how we'd never have a happy family. It was an illusion. I wouldn't keep him from Joker anymore, but after all of this was over, I definitely wouldn't be crawling back.
I'd let him protect us. I'd let him catch up with his son.
I swore I'd stand my ground. And if he ever tried to pull me into bed or put me on my knees again, I'd slap the absolute shit out of him.
8
Brotherhood in the Balance (Joker)
Soon as I stepped into the meeting room for church, the air was heavy as shit. I wasn't the only one dragging myself in all pissed.
Firefly sat next to Skin, Crawl, Sixty, and the rest of the boys, looking like a human hand grenade. He looked up when he saw me. I jerked outta my seat, plopping down before I pulled out my switchblade and shot him a look.
“What the fuck's eating you?” I extended my blade, ready to stab that shit through my fingers, and add a few more scratches to the beat up table with the Pistols logo painted in the middle.
“He's fuckin' my sis again,” Firefly growled, slamming his fist down. “Come on, Veep. Don't start that shit. We're all on edge today.”
“Easy, brother,” Skin said, grabbing one of his shoulders and giving him a shake. “Already told you – Hannah's a grown woman. You can't do shit about who she drags into bed. Meg, she's dealing with the same thing all the time, watching her girls at the Heel bum around with all kinds of fuckin' scum.”
“It ain't the fuckin' same, and you know it! Hannah's too fuckin' good for any man with the patch. She's a businesswoman, for Christ's sake. The kind who deals with a fuck of a lot more than some shit strip club here in town. Prez is fucking her like another whore to kick to the curb, if he isn't slipping his dick in her, trying to get her money. Greedy fuckin' sonofabitch.”