Yes. Somehow, someway, I'm going to fucking kill you, I thought to myself.
“Awesome. You're pretty smart for a bitch without a man,” he growled, turning around. “You leave tomorrow for Knoxville. We'll tell you the place you're staying when we hear you're on the road, and then you'll get the orders I know you're waiting for with baited fuckin' breath.”
“Okay. I understand,” I said, each word drying my throat like a desert.
“No, that's the shitty part, Summer, I don't think you do.” He looked at me as I blinked in confusion, his mismatched eyes shining. “I'm gonna walk out that door, get on my bike, and fuckin' leave you with your brat. You just stay on the floor for the next hour before you start cleaning up the mess.”
I stared at him dumbly as he licked he gazed straight through me. “This is the part where I get to have some fun, and show you how fuckin' serious this is so you don't do anything stupid.”
There wasn't any time to wonder what the hell he was talking about. His hand struck the side of my face like a head-on collision.
I blacked out before I even hit the floor.
4
Down and Dirty (Joker)
Sometimes I thought about what a fuckin' idiot I used to be.
Thought about that night I lost Piece, my grandpa lost his freedom, and I left behind the shithole town that had the only woman I ever gave a shit about fucking more than once.
Those thoughts drove me to the range, or else the closest bottle of good Tennessee brown honey.
Today was one of those fuckin' days. I'd just got outta church, listening to the Prez yammering about the latest big plans.
Bingo was on his leash. Had to hold him tight to keep him from galloping around like a tornado when he felt the wind brush his face.
The big hairy Irish Wolfound licked my face when I leaned down to put him on his chain. Damned dog loved to run all the fuck over, and we normally let him, but not anywhere the brothers were shooting their guns.
“Good boy,” I growled, reaching into my pack for a fresh bone. He barked excitedly as I tossed it on the ground in front of him, watching as he dug into it, happier than any creature had any right to be from something so fuckin' simple.
If I could still smile, that shit would've done it.
Didn't take much to please a dog, long as he was fed, stroked, and walked. Took a lot more to please a man.
Took even more to undo the bad shit. And good fuckin' luck ever wiping out the truly awful, tragic stain on a man's soul.
I hadn't figured out how. All I had was a release valve for the blinding rage out here.
Soon as my nine was in my hands, that demon energy flowed out of me, bit by bit. Flamed out in each and every bullet I fired at the torn wooden targets and weather mannequins we used for practice.
Taking aim at a half-cracked face peeking out behind some old boards, I fired. Missed. Gritted my teeth 'til they almost fuckin' broke and tried again.
Had to kill these venom thoughts, one shot at a time.
One bullet for the good times in Seddon, at Robby's old bar, places and people as done as this plastic motherfucker was about to be.
One more for the sick, sorry fucks who still owed a blood debt to me. They'd ripped apart the only fuckin' family I'd ever had, killed my twin brother, and burned him in a barbecue pit. Put the old man in a place where he couldn't take a fuckin' piss without some nosy cocksucker leaning over his shoulder.
Pulled the trigger again for Summertime. Whatever the fuck I'd said to her that night when I was blind to everything except raw bloodlust, revenge, and hate, it worked.
The dummy's head exploded into a thousand pieces on the third try. I grunted to myself, satisfied, knowing it'd be at least ten minutes before the urge to kill swept over me like a fresh tidal wave.
Those evil words stayed with me, even after I stuffed my gun in its holster and watched the dog, chewing his boney treat to a mess.
Evil or not, they'd done their job. They'd kept her the fuck away. They'd saved me from the demons for a few more hours.
Only goddamned thing I ever asked for.
I'd been outta my fuckin' mind to think I could ever bring a girl like her into this sick, toxic life. Sure as shit wouldn't pull her deeper, drowning her, painting a goddamned target on her back like Freddy and Grandpa, or all the other boys in this club and their old ladies.
Fuck the past. Fuck it all.
“Bingo, you big damned badass,” a voice growled. I looked up to see Firefly standing there, our big Enforcer, a new rifle hanging over his shoulder, leaning down to pat my dog on the head while he snarled into his bone.
“Leave him be. He's chewing his heart out.”
Firefly smiled. “Don't take much, does it? I'll bring him a new one next week. Whole fuckin' club might as well get its jollies in before the Prez takes us to the grinder.”