My Best Friend's Ex

When I turn to fill it up, I catch a glimpse of Tucker, his back still toward me, pushing eggs around on his pan. Did he even hear me? Does he even care about dinnerware? Why is he being a giant jerk and not talking?

“You know, it’s polite to talk to your roommate.” I fill my mug up with coffee and turn toward him. “You’re being rude by not even saying good morning.” He doesn’t say anything, causing my bitch pants to be pulled on one leg at a time. Things are about to go downhill quickly. “Okay, so you’re just going to hover over your stupid yummy-tasting eggs and not say anything? That’s just fiiiiinnnnne.” My arms open wide as I say the word, and I can feel the crazy starting to take over. This is what happens when someone gives me the silent treatment. I lose my shit. “Just stand there in your holey jeans and, and, your, well, you’re not wearing a hard hat now, but if you were, just stand there in your stupid holey jeans and hard hat eating your bacon and jerking yourself off to your morning eggs while drinking out of your one-of-two coffee mugs.” I give him the thumbs up, exaggerated of course, really making sure he can see it. “Real cool, Tucker. You’re sooooo cool. Don’t mind me.” Walking over to the cabinet, I bump him into the stove as I reach for a granola bar. I hold it up to him, making sure he can see that my Chewy Bar is what I’ll be eating for breakfast. “I have my Chewy Bar and, you know what? My Chewy Bar is a better friend than you are; at least it lets me eat him.” Eh . . . I pause. Not what I wanted to say. I shake my head. “I don’t want to eat you, that would be weird. Shit, forget I said that.” To myself I say, “I was on such a roll.” Getting back to my rant, I poke Tucker in the shoulder, which garners his attention. At last. His face is devoid of any emotion as I continue my mini tirade. I hold up my Chewy Bar and coffee and say, “I’m taking this to my room and, you know what? I’ll have a hell of a better time staring at my walls than listening to you heavy breathe over your scrambled eggs. Yeah, you breathe heavy.” He doesn’t, but it’s the only insult I can come up with. “Blow your nose every once in a while, it might stop you from sounding like a barge coming into dock.”

Satisfied, I start to leave but then realize I forgot something. I turn to him once more and say, “And for your information, it’s polite to keep your condoms in your nightstand, not the medicine cabinet, unless you want me to start tossing my tampons around like fireworks, popping them in your face. Is that what you want, Tucker? Tampon fireworks? Because don’t test me, I will make it happen. I will make it rain period products.” Walking off, I shout, “Feminine hygiene will be your worst nightmare, son!”

I slam my door shut and smile to myself. Job well done.

***

“Oh God, I was such an idiot this morning.” I slouch in a booth at the student union and place my tray of food in front of me on the table. I ordered my favorite orange chicken from my favorite quick-order place in the food court but now it’s not looking so appetizing. I’ve spent my entire day at school. This will be my second meal in the union because I can’t bear to go home. Not after my embarrassing morning rant.

Tampon fireworks? Come on, Emma!

Adalyn sits across from me and starts to open her straw, tearing the paper off at the end and expertly working the plastic through the opening, saving the tube of paper so she can tie it in a knot, like she always does.

“Oh, you were an idiot? This is exciting. What did you do?” Adalyn takes a sip of her Dr. Pepper, orange soda combination—gross—and leans forward.

Before telling her what happened, I ask, “Was I a bad roommate?”

“No. If you were a bad roommate, do you really think I would have roomed with you for so long? Why do you ask?” Adalyn is always to the point, and I like that about her.

“I feel like I’m a pretty considerate person. I mean, I didn’t put mint on your pillows or anything, but I made sure to make things as comfortable as possible between us, right?”

Adalyn picks up her wrap and looks at me, a knowing glint in her eye. “Uh oh, trouble in roommate paradise? How is that possible? You’re rooming with a genuine, bona fide, certified, personified piece of man meat. What could be wrong with rooming with the epitome of all men? I mean, his smirk alone should make you feel complete at night.”

I haven’t seen that smirk in days.

I tug on my ponytail and shift in my seat. “I said something stupid the other night. I meant it, but I shouldn’t have said it to him and now he barely says anything to me. We’re just co-existing, not actually living together.”

“What did you say?”

Groaning, I poke my fork at a piece of chicken and put it in my mouth. I talk and chew at the same time; it’s Adalyn, she doesn’t care. “I mentioned his ex-girlfriend who is one of my best friends.”

“Who?” Adalyn is really getting into the conversation.

“Sadie, you met her.”

“Oh yeah, she has the hot, nerdy boyfriend with the glasses. God, I wish she would use him as a feather against my body.”

Slightly weird, but it’s Adalyn. “Yeah, that’s her. Tucker and Sadie were childhood sweethearts. Our group of friends always thought they’d get married one day.”

“Huh, what happened?”

I think back to the day Sadie called me in tears, unsure of what to do, her future in the balance. “They were always rocky, especially when Sadie went to college at Cornell, but it wasn’t until she got pregnant that everything went spiraling.”

“Sadie was pregnant?”

I nod and take another bite of chicken. “Yeah, she lost the baby a few weeks later which changed everything, even our friend dynamic. Their relationship combusted and we were all kind of forced to choose sides. They didn’t make us, but it felt like we had to. Tucker, being two years older than us, easily slipped out of the scene and that’s why I didn’t see him for so long.”

“That’s kind of sad.”

“It is.” My gut starts to churn as I think about the turn of events Tucker had to face. He lost his baby, his love, and his support system. He lost everything, and here I am, rubbing it in his face that Sadie wasn’t the person for him. God, I’m such a freaking asshole.

“What did you say that made him so mad?”

I swallow hard, thinking back to the other night. The devastated look on his face, the way he shut down so quickly, and then dismissed me, after we were having such a good night. I really should have kept my mouth shut. “I told him Sadie wasn’t right for him.”

“That doesn’t seem so bad.” I love that Adalyn tries to ease the tension in my heart.

“It is when she was everything he ever wanted.” Leaning forward, I place my hand on the table and say, “Adalyn, he was and I guess still is so in love with her. He worshipped the ground she walked on. Yes, they had their fights, but even when they fought, you could still see the passion in his eyes for her. When they weren’t together, he was miserable, and when they were together, he was happy. She literally could make or break him with a few words.”

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