“Katrina?”
“Tonight... I want there to be a future tonight,” she whispers, her voice choked with feeling, and I notice she's pulled the bedspread down, removing the barrier between us. “Tonight... show me what it can be.”
She touches me again, and I'm fully awake, fully aware of what's happening, but still clear-headed, my desire for her completely natural, not manufactured by what she's doing. She leans down, her body sliding over mine, and looks into my eyes. “Katrina...”
“Be my first, Jackson,” she pleads, her eyes filled with emotion. “Be my first real lover.”
I nod, and she lowers her lips the last few inches, and we kiss. What I don't tell her, what I want to tell her, is that I've never had a real lover either, not the way she's talking about anyway. And in that kiss, she's my first as well.
Chapter 23
Kat
When we get back to the hotel after our dinner, I'm torn more than ever. The dinner, the kiss, all of it, I'm feeling different than I have in my entire life. Even telling Jackson earlier that with him, I feel like there's a chance at a future, it's not enough.
The reality is that when I'm with Jackson, not only do I feel like I have a future, but I feel regret. I feel regret about the past ten years, and the senseless bullshit that drove me to what I've become. I want those ten years back, those years that I should have spent doing normal girl things, like having my first kiss with Jackson like I'd wanted when I was twelve.
We get ready for bed casually, like there's no tension between us, but I can feel it in the air. It's in the way he lies in bed trying to read, but spending ten minutes on a single page before turning to the next, and in the way he keeps glancing over at me every time I move. When I switch off the light, I close my eyes to meditate, hoping that maybe by focusing and pretending to go to sleep I can relieve some of this tension. Jackson closes his book and sets it aside after a few minutes, and I can hear him turn over onto his side too, but after a few minutes, he mutters to himself.
“Shit,” he lightly curses, then shifts again. His breathing evens out though, and I think he's drifted off into a light doze, and I open my eyes, turning on my side to look at him. I can't see much, so I turn on the lamp next to my side of the bed, and watch him in the soft light, amazed at how handsome he is. Even in sleep though he's tense, and his lips are constantly moving. It takes me a while, but I realize he's saying my name, although in desire or fright I'm not sure.
I make my decision, knowing that regardless if it's right or wrong, it's necessary. Carefully I get up, and take the rolled-up blanket from between us, then I strip down, taking off everything I'm wearing before stretching out on the bed again. I see his forearm, and I Touch him lightly, his tension easing before he hums, the desire growing inside him. “Mmm...”
After he wakes, I look into his eyes, and ask him the most important request I've ever asked anyone in my life. “Be my first, Jackson. Be my first real lover.”
He nods, and I lower my lips to his, the two of us kissing again. He's gentle, and I feel my heart warm as he strokes my back, slowly waking to the desire inside us. Suddenly, Jackson's hands are surer, more powerful and demanding as he realizes what I want. I giggle as he rolls us to the side, and suddenly I'm underneath him, his eyes sparkling with humor as he looks down on me. “Now this is not what I ever expected.”
I chuckle and nod. “Neither did I. You're still wearing your clothes.” I’m thrilled as Jackson pulls his t-shirt off, then pushes his boxers down. His cock is already growing, nearly fully hard, and I feel a wetness start to form inside me. I'm ready, anticipating what's going to happen, and I smile, my heart warming. Jackson sees my smile and stops, just watching me.
“Every smile you give, you look more and more beautiful,” he tells me before we kiss again. His skin is warm, amazing to feel pressed against me, my body thrilling at the sensation of our bodies touching. I wrap my legs around his waist, moaning as Jackson starts kissing his way along my throat, finding my ear again and nibbling. “Mmm, you like that.”
“Oh yes...” I groan as he traces my earlobe again. Feeling naughty, I plant my left foot and roll us again, giving me full access to his body, gasping when I feel his cock bump against the entrance to my pussy. “Jackson...”