“They’ve hooked up before,” Livvy says.
“Who cares? He’s with you now. Or at least he’s supposed to be.” I turn the key in the ignition almost violently, pressing my foot on the gas so the car’s engine revs up, loud and rumbling. I thought hearing it would bring me some satisfaction but so far, no go.
Livvy is watching me in shock, with her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide. “Um, are you okay?”
“Of course I’m not okay,” I bite out as I put the car into reverse, glance over my shoulder and back out of the driveway. I do it so fast that when I put the car into drive, my tires squeal as I pull away from Livvy’s house.
I don’t want to go to school. I don’t want to face the whispers and the rumors and stupid Tuttle’s handsome face. He’ll tell me it was all a misunderstanding, and if I stare into his eyes for too long, I’ll probably agree with him. Forgive him. Forget all about that girl cozied up next to him.
How I wish I could go back to yesterday. Sitting with him at the coffee shop, listening to his sweet words and not savoring them enough. Oh, and I can’t forget that amazing kiss in front of my house. For all the time we’ve spent together these last few months, we’ve never really taken it very far. The most we ever did was the night I discovered my now ex-boyfriend having sex with my now ex-best friend…
My entire body goes warm at the memory. We hooked up that night and took it pretty far, but not too far. I didn’t give him every piece of me. Thank goodness.
That’s what I keep telling myself.
Thank goodness.
The bell rings and I shoot out of my class as fast as I can, staring straight ahead as I exit the doorway and turn left when I normally turn right. I’m moving against the crowd, since everyone’s either making their way toward the cafeteria or the parking lot, and I do my best not to make eye contact. No one pays me any attention anyway, which is a good thing.
But then again it infuriates me. It’s like I don’t even rate, and I’ve been with the most popular boy at school, not that anyone really knew this. Though I’m sure if anyone did see me with Tuttle they probably thought we were working together on a class project or whatever. No way could he see anything in me.
Ugh. I’m actually pissed people aren’t noticing me when I don’t want them to notice me. I make no sense.
I blame it all on Tuttle.
The crowd thins as I make my way farther down the hall and that’s when I spot her. Liv is standing close to Ryan, laughing up at him after he leans in close to her ear and whispers something.
My stomach twists and I fight the disappointment that wants to take over me. I knew she’d cave fast.
“Amanda!” she shouts when she spots me, and she waves me over after we make eye contact. I approach them slowly, my feet feeling like they’re encased in cement instead of my worn-out Converse. “Hey, you,” she says cheerily when I stop in front of them.
Ryan flicks his chin at me in that boy way that’s supposed to be a greeting. I say nothing in return, just send him a withering look. Like she can sense what I’m about to do—say something rude to him—Liv grabs hold of my arm before I say something ugly and leads me away from her boyfriend.
“Please don't give me any crap,” she starts, and I shake my head, cutting her off.
“So you believed him.” My voice is flat and I send her an accusatory glare.
Livvy sighs as we stop on the opposite end of the lockers. “I believe him because he’s telling me the truth. The photo was taken at a party late last summer. Before I came back from my dad’s, and when he was with…” Her voice fades and she wrinkles her nose. She doesn’t want to say the same so I supply it for her.
“Em?” I raise both brows and she rolls her eyes.
“Yes. Em. It’s an old photo. He swore up and down he was being one hundred percent honest. He hasn’t been near Em since we’ve been together.” She leans in close, her voice dropping. “You should believe Tuttle too. That photo is old. And I know he’s totally into you.”
I hate how my body reacts just hearing someone else say his last name. I’m pretty sure it’s not normal. “Why should I believe him? So he can go out and do something like this again? Because it’ll happen, I can almost guarantee it. Some other girl will come out of the woodwork full of half-truths and make him look bad, and I won’t be able to trust him. Or worse, he’ll cheat on me. Remember, he doesn’t do relationships.”
“Is that what you really believe?”
I whirl around, my heart dropping when I see Tuttle standing in front of me looking stupid gorgeous clad in dark jeans and his football jersey. He also looks really angry and…hurt?
No way.
“That girls will always be a problem for you?” For us? “Yes.”