Livvy bends her head, nibbling on her lower lip as she opens the Instagram app and starts scrolling. “My mom didn’t take away my laptop and she forgets I can still text and see Instagram on there.” I glance at the clock on my dash, worried if we sit here for too much longer we’ll be late for first period.
When she hands me my phone and I stare at the photo she pulled up for me to see, I realize in an instant I don’t care if I’m late for school. My stomach pitches and rolls almost violently, and I slap my hand over my mouth, frightened for a moment that I might throw up all over my lap and my phone.
It’s a photo of Ryan—Livvy’s boyfriend—and Tuttle, along with Em and a girl I remember Tuttle talking to one night at a party he was having. The one who’s name he couldn’t remember, yet he knew she’d given him a blowjob, which is the epitome of tacky.
All four of them are close to each other. Em is in Ryan’s lap. Tuttle and the skank are wrapped around each other, all of them smiling at the camera, which I think Em is holding, snapping a selfie to immortalize forever.
“I think I’m going to be sick,” I mumble, causing Livvy to snatch my phone out of my hands before she’s shoving at my shoulder.
“Get out of the car! Puke on the lawn! Hurry!”
Her suggestion is totally valid. I scramble out of the car and bend over, resting my hands on my knees as I wait to throw up my toast and coffee breakfast all over the strip of dying lawn that divides Livvy’s house from her neighbor’s. But nothing comes up and I realize the longer I stare at the yellow lawn, the more unfocused my vision gets.
God, this is so incredibly disappointing. And that’s the worst thing. I’m furious at myself for actually believing I had a chance with Jordan Tuttle.
Clearly I was delusional.
“I didn’t want to tell you like this!” Livvy is yelling from the car. I stand up straight and watch her warily, noting the sadness in her eyes, how her face looks ready to crumple at any given moment. “I was kind of hoping you would’ve caught the photo on Em’s feed, though honestly, I don’t know which way to find out is worse.”
“Em posted this?” Oh. My. God.
That bitch.
“Yeah.” Livvy nods and sniffs. “Last night.”
My blood is immediately boiling. Whenever there’s something bad happening, Em always seems to be behind it. The girl is toxic. Poison. She’s also Livvy’s former best friend.
I don’t trust her as far as I can throw her.
“I was with Tuttle yesterday,” I say as I get back into the car, my mind going over everything that happened yesterday. What time he dropped me off at my house—around five—which gave him plenty of time to go somewhere else with Ryan and end up with the girls.
“For how long?” When I tell her, her mouth turns grim. “He could’ve left you and ended up with Ryan and Em and whatever her name is…”
I want to believe he would never do that to me. Every tiny molecule that makes me into who I am literally aches for that to be the truth.
But maybe…maybe it’s not. Maybe he did leave my house to go meet another girl. He is a known player. Who am I to him, really? He says a bunch of stuff, and it all sounds good, but maybe he says the same thing to lots of girls.
“The photo looks recent. Not like her and Ryan have known each other that long, but you know what I mean. Maybe it’s from another time when they were together?” she asks almost hopefully.
“Please. This was taken last night.” I’m going with that. It’s almost easier to believe the absolute worst right from the start. Gets the painful part over with, you know?
“You really think so?”
Glancing in Livvy’s direction, I see the shock etched all over her face. She doesn’t want this to be true. She’d rather believe it was an old photo and Ryan is innocent. Of course she feels that way. He’s her boyfriend. She just recently gave up her V-card to that guy. He’s sort of a douche, but a hot douche, so I can kind of understand her attraction. Sort of like how Tuttle’s a hot douche too.
Disgusted with my Tuttle-filled thoughts, I hit the button to shut off my phone’s screen and drop it into the center console cup holder. “If this didn’t happen last night, then they were probably together very, very recently.”
Liv says nothing and I stare out the windshield, my fingers curled tight around the steering wheel. I need to start the car and drive to school, but it’s like I’m paralyzed. Going to school means facing Tuttle, and he’s suddenly become the last person I want to see.
“What are we going to do?” Livvy whispers hoarsely. “I don’t know what to say to Ryan. I don’t want to look like the jealous girlfriend—he hates that sort of thing. But I don’t know how else to handle this without confronting him.”
Ugh. Proof again that Ryan is a total jerk. He runs hot and cold with Liv, especially before they officially got together. “You’re allowed to be the jealous girlfriend. He has his hands all over Em, yet you’re supposed to be his girlfriend,” I remind her, heavy on the sarcasm.