“But—“ Without warning he tugs me in close, his mouth at my ear, his breath so hot I shiver.
“Stop pretending this isn’t happening, Amanda. I’m tired of fighting it.” He kisses my ear, the sensitive spot just behind it, and I sag against him.
He’s right. I’m tired of fighting it.
I’m ready to give in.
The bus ride to the game had been loud and chaotic. The cheerleaders were obnoxious, squealing and yelling and shooting lusty glances in the players’ directions. Coach Halsey kept trying to give the boys “let’s get pumped up” speeches, and they worked. They sounded like roaring beasts ready to unleash and conquer by the time we pulled into the opposing school’s parking lot. I even had the fleeting thought that I needed to bring my ear buds next week so I could avoid the noise and listen to music.
The ride home is completely different. It’s quiet and dark in the bus. Most everyone is worn out and there’s not much talking. I do see a lot of faces illuminated by the glow of their phones.
I sit with Jordan, his legs spread wide in that way boys like to sit, taking up all the space, but with him, I don’t mind. His knee is pressed against mine and he has his arm slung over my shoulders casually, his big hand lightly gripping my upper arm. I feel…owned. He’s declaring to everyone on this bus that he wants to be with me, and I bask in his attention.
“Yo, Tuttle.” It’s Ryan.
Jordan leans his head against the wall of the bus for a moment, closing his eyes. “What?” He sounds irritated.
“You having a party at your house?”
Oh. Is he? I can’t remember the last time he had one. It’s been a few weeks. I turn to watch him, noting how thick his eyelashes are when his eyes are closed. He is too pretty for words. I can’t help the little sigh that escapes me.
He cracks his eyes open. “You don’t want me to have them over, do you.” It’s a statement, not a question.
I want him all to myself, but I can’t say that out loud. Can I? “Only if you want to.”
“No party tonight,” he calls out, and they answer him with groans and protests. But he ignores them. He just focuses on me, pulling me in closer so I’m snug against him. His lips press against my forehead and I close my eyes, sitting with him, soaking him up. His scent, his warmth, his strength.
“Are you sure?” I finally ask, my voice soft and only for him.
“I want to be alone with you.”
My heart drops, then picks up speed again. We’ve been alone plenty of times, but usually with other people in the house. Namely Livvy, who I could always text and say, get me out of here, and she would rescue me every single time.
I pull away from him so I can look into his eyes. “Are your parents home?”
He makes a face. “When are they ever home?”
Never. I know they’re busy and they work a lot, but they’re never around for their son. Ever. “I don’t know…”
“I’ll have you home by your curfew,” he murmurs. “Promise. Just say yes.”
“Yes,” I tell him, and his eyes light up, though he doesn’t smile.
He kisses me gently on the lips instead. So gentle, my entire body tingles in anticipation. I know what that mouth can do. I know what his hands can do as well. Not that we’ve taken it too terribly far, but we’ve done a few things. I’ve let him touch me in certain places. But I’d always push him off if we got too carried away, scared he’d use me and leave me.
Like he does to all the other girls.
The rest of the ride home we’re quiet, and I get lost in my thoughts. I’m excited and scared for what might happen next. Will he take me to his room? Or will we watch TV? A movie? Maybe hang out outside? The Tuttle backyard is amazing. I don’t know what we’ll do, but I will soon find out.
Once we arrive on campus, we unload in the school parking lot, Jordan taking my hand the moment we’re off the bus.
“I have to drop off my equipment in the locker room before I leave.” He glances around the lot. “Where’s your car?”
“My dad brought me. My brother had to borrow my car tonight. He’s home for the weekend.” I’m terrified he’ll try and take it back with him to college and then I’ll be out of a car for good. I can’t afford for that to happen. I need the car to get to my job. I can’t rely on the kindness of strangers to always give me a ride.
“Is he going to pick you up?” Jordan frowns.
“No, I texted him and let him know I had a ride.” I smile and poke him in the ribs. “That would be you.”
He grabs my hand and brings it to his mouth, kissing the back of it. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” He leaves before I can say anything else.