I twisted in my seat to face him. What the hell? It was as good a time as any to clear the air and finally get some answers. “What did you do?”
He blinked, looking as if he were somewhere else.
“Jacob—”
He motioned at the quiet cab driver, like he was hanging on our every word. Which he really wasn’t. Even if he was, I didn’t care at this point. I didn’t care who heard, just so long as I finally knew why the man I was supposed to marry three days ago didn’t show up to the wedding.
“I don’t remember.” He swallowed, looking like he was choking on an apple. “I don’t have a goddamn clue what happened that night or that next day. All I remember was being out with the guys one minute, and the next I was stumbling through Dad’s front door, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.”
My head turned so it was facing him. “You don’t remember? Nothing?”
He looked me in the eye as he said, “Nothing more than what I just told you.”
“You mean to tell me that you lost track of a whole twenty-four-hour period? That it’s all a blank?” I paused, lifting my eyebrow. “You don’t have a single memory of that whole day?”
One of his shoulders shrugged. “I wish I did. I really wish I did, because I can tell it’s eating you up. Hell, it’s eating me up. I missed my own wedding for Christ’s sake.” He blew out a breath and slammed his head back against the headrest. “But if I told you anything else, it would be a lie, and I don’t want to lie to you anymore, Cora. Not now that we’re married.”
The word hit me hard. “We’re not married. Because you didn’t show up.”
“Yeah, but we would be. We should be.” His fingers tightened around mine as the cab slowed when we pulled into the parking lot for the trailhead. “We kind of are, since Matt had my back and stepped in to do what he did. I know you’re pissed at him about that—I am a little too—but he did it for me. He did it for us. Because he knows we’re meant to be together. He knows that.”
Everything about his words, everything on his face, led a person to the impression that he believed with his whole heart what he’d just said. But when he looked away, trying to hide his glare out the window as his hand tightened around mine, I knew the truth. He didn’t believe those words any more than I did. At least not completely.
“Does everyone know what happened?” I swallowed, thinking about the rumors that would be flying when I got back to Miami. Rumors had always seemed to follow me wherever I went, from the time I moved into the Adams’ place with my mom. Most of them had been untrue, but not all of them.
Jacob’s head shook as he paid the driver, leaving him a nice tip. “No, when I showed up and Dad and I started to put the pieces together, he told me not to tell anyone. He basically had me swear on my life not to tell anyone, then to get my ass down here and fix my mistake.” He slid out of the cab, holding his hand out for me to take as I came out. “No one knows. No one knew it was Matt. Dad’s going to talk to his attorney so we can figure out all of the legal headaches that might be involved, but we’ll get this straightened out. It might mean you and I need to have a private ceremony of our own to make it official, but you have my word that I’ll fix my mistake and make this right.”
My head was nodding, but it was more in recognition of what he was saying than in agreement. When I went to slide my daypack onto my back, Jacob took it.
“Here, I’ve got it.” He adjusted the straps to fit him, clasping the chest strap over his button-down shirt.
Before the cab drove off, Jacob requested he be back in an hour to pick us up like he had a clue how long this hike would take. I stood there observing the man I’d spent ten years of my life committed to. He looked totally different than he had last night—half-drunk, half-crazy, and ready to take on the whole world blindfolded if need be. Today he looked like he’d gotten a full night’s rest, his clothes were clean and ironed, his eyes were bright, and his mood was almost carefree. This was the Jacob I remembered as a child.
This was the person I’d fallen in love with—instead of the one I’d been reminding myself I loved lately.
“You lead, I’ll follow.” Jacob motioned at the trailhead, waiting for me.
I started up the trail at a solid pace, feeling like I needed to burn out the emotions and adrenaline I’d stored up. My legs were on fire when he tapped my arm with a bottle of water.
“Drink. I don’t need you getting dehydrated on me.” He was breathing a little harder than normal, but not much. Jacob might not have been into hiking, but he stayed fit.
“Are you going to wipe my brow next?” I smiled back at him, taking the water to have a few sips.
“If you want me to.” His eyes met mine for a moment as we wound up the trail. “Whatever you want, all you have to do is ask.”
My head turned to focus on the trail. “I’d like to have the truth. The real reason you missed our wedding.”
“I already told you—”
“You remember something,” I interrupted. “I’ve seen you drink a whole fifth of scotch and walk a straight line like it was nothing. You might have been drinking that night—a lot—but you remember something.” I took a breath. “I want to know what that something is.”
“Cora—”
“No.” My head shook. “Just the truth. That’s all. That’s all I want from you right now. I don’t want anything else until I have that.”
“Anything else I told you wouldn’t be the truth though, baby. Don’t you get it? I can’t tell you anything but what I remember about that night, and there’s nothing I can recall.” There was the slightest edge in his voice. I was questioning him—pushing him—and he didn’t like it. “What about just the truth from you? That’s all I want too. Matt won’t say anything—he told me to ask you. And you won’t say anything because you’re too busy accusing me of something you think I did that I can’t remember.”
My pace was picking up as the trail grew steeper. My heart was hammering, my lungs straining, my legs burning, but I couldn’t slow down. I couldn’t stop. I was finally moving forward, and I knew I couldn’t stop for fear of never being able to restart again.
“You already know what happened.” I glanced over my shoulder; he’d fallen back a few steps but was still following. Jacob’s chest was moving fast now too. “You didn’t show up. Matt made an impulsive decision, put on your tux, and was the one waiting for me when I walked down that aisle. We said our vows”—I left out the kissing part. Jacob already knew it and hearing me say it would only set him off—“we went to the reception, then St. Thomas. And then the next day, I found out what had happened. That’s the truth.”