“How do you have a type if you don’t date?”
“Uncle’s money? That shouldn’t be anyone’s type.” Ryan quickly shakes his head in disapproval. “Speaking of dates, there’s this big charity gala coming up that I need a date for.”
“Perfect, ask your brother-stealing famous movie star girlfriend.”
“You’ll go with me, right?”
“Sure. If I’m not on the road for hockey.”
“You’re not. It’s one of your players’ charities. Active Minds of Chicago. Take my card and buy a dress for it. It’s black-tie.”
I tilt my head around to look at him, my eyes narrowing. “I have my own money. And besides, I’d rather find something secondhand.”
Ryan pulls his head back. “No way. Vee, you know I think your thrifted style is great, but you cannot wear a dress from a thrift store to this thing.”
“Why not?”
“Because that room is going to be filled with the highest-paid athletes in Chicago. You’ll stick out like a sore thumb.”
That statement quickly solves our debate. That’s the exact kind of attention I don’t want.
“Fine. You can buy me an expensive-ass dress to wear around your rich-ass colleagues.”
A satisfied smile slides across his lips. “Take the black Am-Ex when you go.” He gives my shoulders a quick squeeze before swiftly snatching the hot dog from my hands and taking a giant bite.
“What the hell?!”
“Fuck, that is good. I’ll have to get myself one of those next time.” He wipes the mustard from the side of his mouth. “So, Nashville, huh? You gonna tell Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dumb you’re coming back to town?”
“If you mean Hannah and Jackie, then I’m not sure yet. Haven’t decided.”
Ryan rummages through the kitchen pantry, looking for something to snack on. “Don’t. Those girls are evil.”
“They’re my friends.”
“They’re not your friends, Vee. They’re mean girls.”
I let out an exhausted breath. My brother is right, but they were my closest friendships in high school, no matter how much I felt left out from our trio.
“Speaking of mean girls...have you talked to Mom?”
Ryan shoots me a death glare over his shoulder. “Mom is not a mean girl.”
“Not to you. You are the favorite child after all.”
“No, I haven’t talked to her. But you better tell her you’re coming back to town. She’s going to want to see you.”
No, she’s not.
“Yeah, of course, I’ll tell her.” I avoid my brother’s stare before he figures out the truth that I hadn’t planned on letting my mom know I’ll be back home. I would love to see my dad, but my mom? Not so much.
“Speaking of that gala...” Ryan takes a seat on the armrest of the couch, eyeing me cautiously. “Brett hit me up today.”
“Why?” I quickly snap.
My brother inhales a deep breath. “He wants to visit. Come to that event.”
“Visit? Here? Like Chicago?”
Ryan pulls his gaze away from mine. “I told him it wasn’t a good idea. He didn’t know you were living here, but he’s really struggling right now, trying to find a job in sports. Every big team in the city will be at that charity gala. It’s a good place for him to network.”
There’s a shortness of oxygen going to my lungs and subsequently my brain from hearing Brett’s name. The last person I want to think about is my brother’s college teammate—my ex.
We dated most of college, but there were multiple periods of time when he would end things with me because he had other options. Then, he’d come crawling back when he was bored, only to keep me on an endless roller coaster of trying to be good enough to keep his attention.
And I was the idiot who took him back. Every. Single. Time. He was my weakness. I loved him, and all I wanted was for him to want me back, but he didn’t. Not really.
I was there to fill to void. To be a warm body in his bed while he continued to look for better options. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my confidence in myself took a huge plummet from constantly feeling like I wasn’t enough for him, and of course, it was the same time my mother started to make comments about the way I looked.
Then, in our senior year, when Brett found out he was offered a spot at training camp with a pro basketball team, he dropped me quicker than you can say, “I’ve been using you for three years,” which is essentially what he said without saying those exact words.
I remember it all, clear as day. I was waiting for Ryan outside of his locker room at UNC, but little did I know my brother was in the middle of an interview out on the court while the rest of his teammates were shooting the shit behind a thin door that was anything but soundproof.
“What about Stevie?” one of the boys had asked when they learned about my boyfriend’s new opportunity.
Brett’s response? “What about Stevie? She was there because I was bored, but I’m going pro. Do you know the quality of women that are about to throw themselves at me? You think I’m going to stay with Shay’s sister when I have better options?”
And that was that. That was the final straw on my end. He’s reached out a couple of times over the years, especially after he got dropped during training camp of his rookie season, never once making it onto a professional NBA team. But that day outside of the locker room was the day it clicked. I was never anything to him, and I’ve been carrying that weight of knowing I wasn’t good enough ever since.
Ryan has no idea how bad it was. Brett is his college teammate and was once one of his closest friends. Though, the heartbreak my brother saw me endure had him keeping his distance from his old friend without even knowing the full details.
Not to be dramatic, but he fucked me up.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I will never date an athlete again. They’re shallow, only caring about the trophy on their arm. And I am no one’s trophy.
“I told him it wasn’t a good idea,” Ryan adds, pulling me out of the past and back to the present. “But I feel like maybe I should help him out? Get him in contact with some media networks? I don’t know. I feel bad for the guy.”
Ryan wouldn’t feel bad if he had any idea what his old teammate said about me. In fact, he’d probably kick his ass.
“I’ll tell him not to come.”
“No.” I shake my head. “He’s your college teammate, Ry. It’s cool. But could you find him somewhere else to stay?”
He shoots me a thankful and understanding smile. “You going to ever tell me what happened between you guys?”
“We broke up. Simple as that.”
“I would like for you to tell me one day.” He walks behind the couch, shaking my curls before taking off to his room to get ready. “Love you, Vee.”
The distaste for Ryan’s college teammate lingers in my mouth as I finish the rest of my hot dog before falling back on the couch and hiding under my giant weighted blanket for the night.