“Aw, sweetheart. You’re watching out for my diet?”
“Actually, no. I don’t really give a shit,” I state with honesty as Maddison almost chokes in startled laughter next to him. “Just curious. But you could’ve asked the other flight attendant to make you one when she came over here, you know.”
He glances towards the front of the airplane, where Tara’s perfectly thin frame is standing, watching us.
“Yeah, but something tells me when it comes to food, I trust your opinion more than hers.”
What the hell does that mean? Is that his way of judging my body? Is that his way of saying he knows I eat that kind of junk on a regular basis and can probably make a good one? I mean, he’s not wrong, but still.
I harshly swallow, suddenly feeling claustrophobic on this airplane. The space is too small. I’m exposed in the exit row for everyone to see. I don’t want anyone to look at me in my embarrassment. My uniform hugs my body, and I feel it digging in at my hips, my chest, and under my arms. Everyone can tell that it doesn’t fit me correctly. I know it. The first thing they see is a body that carries a few more pounds than I’d like it to, and I was an idiot to think maybe these guys wouldn’t judge me for it.
I was wrong, and my mask is completely off at this point. I hate feeling this vulnerable.
“Stevie?” Zanders says with amusement in his voice. “You going to do your job and make me a grilled cheese or what?”
Snapping out of my trance for a moment, I nod my head in silence before taking off towards the galley, needing to hide.
“Stevie?” Zanders questions as I hurry down the aisle, but I don’t turn around.
I make his sandwich, but I don’t bring it out. In fact, I don’t go out into the aisle again until we land in Chicago and everyone else is off the airplane.
7
STEVIE
The Chicago Raptors have a home stand, which means I have some time off work this week. And even better, the Chicago Devils have the night off, so I finally get to spend some time with my brother.
Though, I’ve yet to see him today. He had a shoot-around this morning, then a press conference this afternoon, but we’re going to the movies tonight. A little twin bonding moment, if you will. I’ve stayed curled up on the couch in his amazing apartment, waiting for him to get back from the arena.
I’m not kidding. This apartment building is insane. It was built about four years ago, and Ryan moved in a year after that when Chicago picked him up. He’s not on the penthouse floor, but he’s a couple of levels below it, and the view is epic from his almost 180-degree porch. We can see most of Chicago from here, including Lake Michigan.
But the view isn’t all that pretty today, simply because it’s been pouring rain all afternoon. I’d typically be at the shelter on my days off, but the dogs aren’t getting their afternoon walks because of the weather, so they didn’t really need my help.
Instead, I’ve stayed curled up on the couch, wearing my comfiest and ugliest sweatpants.
The three quick road trips were a good way to get my feet wet for this season because our next trip is much longer. And it starts in Nashville next week. Most everyone loves a stop in Nashville, I’m sure. However, all it does is make me feel anxious.
I grew up right outside the city, and I was thankful to get out and go to the University of North Carolina when I did. There’s just something about being in Nashville that makes me feel like I’m not good enough.
I’m not blonde enough. I’m not tall and skinny enough, but I’m not short and petite enough either.
At least that’s how I felt growing up, and going back there has been hanging over my head ever since I took a job with a hockey team. It’s a stop on the NHL schedule, whereas I could avoid a hometown visit when I worked with the NBA.
Ryan is lucky. He doesn’t have to go back there multiple times a year for his games. Though he would be welcomed back with a parade, I’m sure. He was a local high school celebrity, and I was his twin sister that girls were nice to in order to try to get close to the star basketball player.
Regardless, I still have a couple of friends from high school, and though we aren’t super close, we are close enough that I should probably tell them I’ll be in town next week.
“Hey, Vee!” Ryan calls out as he walks through the front door.
Popping off the couch, I look at him with wide, eager eyes. “Did you get me one?”
“No ‘hello’? No ‘my dearest brother and favorite person in the entire world, how are you?’”
I scrunch my nose in disgust. “Gross, no.”
“Yes, I got you one.” He tosses the tinfoil-wrapped hot dog in my lap. “But you know I can afford to feed you a little better than a five-dollar street-meat hot dog for dinner, right?”
“Don’t judge me. The United Center’s street-meat is the best.” I eagerly unwrap my dog, finding it piled high with grilled onions and peppers, doused in mustard. Just the way I like it. “What time do you want to head out?”
“Head out where?”
My head snaps back to him in the kitchen. “To the movies. We’re still trying to get to the seven o’clock showing, right?”
“Oh, fuck, Vee. I completely forgot that we made plans tonight.” Guilt overtakes his face. “I have a date.”
“Oh.” Which is a pure surprise. Because well, my brother doesn’t really date.
“I can cancel.”
“You have a date?”
“Yeah, but I’m going to cancel.”
“No, don’t do that.”
My brother hasn’t dated since he’s been in Chicago. He’s too focused on basketball and his career to add women into the equation. In fact, he practically refuses to date, so even though he’s probably hoping I’ll help him get out of it, there’s no way I’m going to enable his singleness.
He’s the absolute best person I know, and he deserves to be happy, even though he thinks the only answer to that is basketball. Unfortunately, his first date in three years aligns with the only plans we’ve been able to make in weeks. Now that it’s basketball and hockey season, we won’t be seeing each other much.
“Can I make it up to you? We can go as soon as I’m back from this series of road games,” he eagerly offers.
“I’m leaving for Nashville the day before you’re home, but don’t worry about it. We’ll hang out eventually.”
Ryan comes behind the couch and wraps his arms around my shoulders. “Please tell me not to go.”
“You’re going. Who is she anyway?”
“Our team’s GM’s niece.” Ryan takes a seat on the edge of the couch. “She’s going to some big movie premier, and our general manager called in a favor.”
“So, you are going to the movies.”
A subtle laugh heaves in Ryan’s chest. “Apparently, she needs some kind of PR overhaul, and who better to show up with than straight-laced, boring Ryan Shay.”
“You’re not boring, Ry.”
“I’m pretty fucking boring, Vee.”
“Well, maybe you’ll actually like her?”
“Not my type. This is strictly a business transaction.”