But I also thought about Papa. The thought of leaving him broke my heart. I thought of my own words to Queen when I asked her, “How could you do this to them?” But then I had to ask myself, “How could I do this to Papa?” Especially now that Queen had disappointed him so.
How could I leave Papa? How could I leave Fred Lee? Leaving him would make me as bad as Mama. Who could know what might happen to him if both his mama and his sister left him, not counting the fact that his daddy had never bothered with trying to be a part of his life?
And Hallelujah. Yes, he sat there making a fool of himself over Queen, but he was still my best friend. How could I leave him? And what kind of friends would I make in Saint Louis? If any?
My heart ached, both at the thought of leaving and at the thought of staying. Levi had stayed, and he didn’t live to see a week over the age of twenty-one. Would that happen to me? I didn’t know—?couldn’t know—?but I had to be strong enough to find out. I had to stay—?not just for the sake of those I didn’t want to leave behind, but for my own sake. I had to know if I could shine in the darkness.
Imagine how bright a star would shine at midnight without a moon!
I had to be bold enough to write to Aunt Belle and let her know my choice. And I had to write that letter without delay—?before I had time to change my mind. A chill came over me at the thought. But then, right there, the warmth of the Mississippi sun crossed my face while a single leaf fluttered down and brushed my cheek. I opened my eyes and stared down at the leaf that had landed in my lap. It was still green, with hints of yellow. Yes, a change was coming. And I, Rosa Lee Carter, would be right there to be a part of it.
Acknowledgments
This book would not have happened without . . .
God—?who gave me the talent to write and the strength to endure rejection.
The Mississippi Arts Commission—?which boosted my confidence with a Literary Artist Fellowship Grant to encourage the completion of the book.
Victoria Marini (Literary Agent Extraordinaire!)—?who salvaged my query from the slush and finally gave me the “yes” that changed my life.
Elizabeth Bewley (Super Awesome Ninja Editor!)—?who showed me how to make a good story great.
Nicole Sclama (Super Awesome Editorial Assistant!)—?who double-checked my research to make sure I got the facts straight.
Writer friends—?who read various drafts of the manuscript and said, “This is good. Keep going.”
The ladies of my Sunday school class at Brown Missionary Baptist Church—?who prayed me through a six-year journey to find an agent.
All my family and friends—?who believed that one day I would eventually land an agent and a book deal.
And, of course, the wonderful folks at Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Books for Young Readers—?who believed this story needed to be shared with children around the world.