“What?”
“They’re going to talk to Alex about it. They think if we’re together that maybe I won’t be as fucked up.”
“That’s huge. They really love you.”
“I don’t deserve it.”
“That’s ridiculous. Of course you do.”
“I don’t feel like it.”
“Well, that’s another thing you’re going to have to work on.” Sam started the car again.
Micah put out his hand and rested it on Sam’s arm, to stop him from putting the car into gear. “Wait a minute. You say I never came to you for help. I’m asking now.”
Sam leaned back into his seat. “Okay. Shoot.”
“I was talking about it with my mum and dad today. Even if they move out here, I want to stay with you.”
“Isn’t that kind of defeating the point of them moving to Perth?”
“They agree, if you do. I think I should live out of home, but I still need stability. And I love your family. You’ve all been so good to me.”
“Except Dane.”
“That goes without saying.” Micah gave a small grin.
“Just one thing. When Dane was saying I didn’t know what you were getting up to, how did he know?”
Micah shrugged. It was a mystery that was bothering him as well. “Maybe it was easier to pick up on it because we shared the same space. Your parents are on the ground floor and you and Maia have your own space. Dane’s room is right next to mine practically.”
Sam shrugged. “Dane keeps things close to his chest.”
“Yeah, well I know a lot about that.”
“I don’t think I need to state the obvious here. So. A new start, huh?”
“Yes.” Micah clicked his seatbelt back into place. “I will finally let you be my mentor.”
“What an honour,” Sam said. “Can we go to our home now?”
His emphasis on the word gave Micah the response he needed. It was the first time his smile had felt genuine all week. “Sure.”
THEY HAD sat talking in the car for a little while longer after Sam had pulled into the driveway, but tiredness soon overcame them and they said their good nights before heading for their separate parts of the house.
Music was coming from Dane’s room, and the light was still shining from beneath the door. Micah couldn’t help thinking of what Sam had said, and how he and Dane were quite similar in bottling things up and revelling in their own self-destructiveness—the major difference was Micah usually internalised it (quite different to last year) while Dane was taking it out on the people around him.
So he knocked on Dane’s door, and the music was immediately silenced.
“Who is it?”
“Your most favourite person in the world,” Micah said blithely.
The pounding of footsteps, and the door being flung open. “What do you want?”
Micah took the opportunity of the door being opened more than a crack, and pushed his way in. “Do you know, the whole time I’ve lived here, you’ve never invited me into your room?”
He was expecting Dane to fight with him, but he only glowered. “There’s a reason for that.”
But Micah’s attention was captured by the poster hanging to the left of Dane’s unmade bed. It was Sam in full flight, the purple of his Dockers’ guernsey glinting in the sun as he ran with a Sherrin clutched underneath his arm. He turned back to look at Dane in wonder, a new side of his grumpy housemate revealed to him. It was actually rather sweet he looked up so much to his brother, even though Micah had only ever seen him in conflict with Sam.
“Does Sam know about this? Or is he never let in your room either?”
“I like my room being my own.”
“You haven’t chucked me out yet.”
“You’re in here now. And like I’d be able to chuck you out.”
That was true. Micah was taller and heavier than Dane—all he’d really have to do was sit on him to restrain him.
“So what do you want?” Dane asked.
Micah rummaged through his bag, careful not to expose the giant bag of pills that weighed more upon his conscience than his shoulder. He produced a silver foil packet and presented it to Dane with a grand air. “There’s this little coffee shop in Melbourne. One of my favourites on Brunswick Street in Fitzroy, called Jasper’s. Which is ironic seeing I know a Jasper in real life who really isn’t one of my favourite people. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I know you like coffee, so I brought you some.”
Dane stared down at the packet, as if it would suddenly shed its exterior and become a nest of wasps. “Why are you being nice to me?”
“Shouldn’t we be nicer to each other in this crazy world? This fussin’ and a-feudin’ has gone on too long.” Micah couldn’t help being Micah and lapsing into humour.
“So you give me some coffee and we’re expected to be best mates?”
“You make it sound like I was the one giving you grief from the beginning. Face it, I’m here for the foreseeable future, and you can’t keep hiding in your room. They’re your family.”
“You’re damn right they’re my family.” A sudden flash of fury made Dane look more lively than Micah had ever witnessed.
“Then start acting like they are.” Micah yawned, wanting the comfort of his bed. “Good night.”
As he went to close the door behind him, Dane said, “Um, thanks for the coffee.”
Micah hid the smile that might have frightened Dane off, especially now that they had gained ground. “You’re welcome.”
They weren’t best mates by any means, but maybe the cold war was over.
READY FOR bed, clad only in his boxers, Micah stared at the handful of pills he had taken from their packets. He knew he was doing the right thing, even if his chances of contracting HIV had been low. Sure, Paul had said he was “clean,” but he could have said anything. Ben had told him the odds were in his favour, but you never knew. The main thing was that he was doing the responsible thing.