“You’re young.”
He shrugged and shut the door, heading over to his desk. “Young, sure. That doesn’t matter though.”
“How’d you get involved with the mob, if you don’t mind me asking?”
He raised an eyebrow at me. “Why do you care?”
“Just trying to make conversation.” He was clearly not going to make this incredibly uncomfortable situation any easier. I lifted Alex up and began to burp him.
“Just happened, I guess,” Rafa said. “Grew up in a fucking shit neighborhood. The only guys around worth anything were made men, you know? So I got into it.”
I nodded. I’d heard a version of that story again and again, over and over. It was the same with the Russians. Young guys saw the mobsters, their money and bling and all the crap, and wanted to get involved with the mob.
What they didn’t see was the dark side. The violence, the terror. I’d seen all of that and more living with my father my whole life. Some guys could stomach that sort of thing and some couldn’t. I guessed Rafa was the type that could if he had climbed so high in the ranks.
Then there was Vince, of course. Deadly, violent, terrifying. He was the sort of mobster I truly despised.
And yet he was the father of my child. Funny how life worked out sometimes, pushing you to places you never imagined you’d go.
“Is that really Vince’s kid?” Rafa asked.
“Yes, it is.”
“They’re going to make you do a paternity test.”
“Good,” I said. “Get this straightened out.”
He shook his head and laughed. “Vince with a kid.”
Alex let out a nice little burp. “Aw, there you go, my little prince,” I said.
Rafa laughed. “What the hell?”
“You have to burp them after they eat,” I said. “Otherwise they get all gassy and cry.”
“Huh,” he said, making a face. He clearly was grossed out and uninterested in Alexei, and I couldn’t blame him.
It was hard to love someone else’s baby but so easy to love your own.
“Where did Vince go?” I asked him.
“He went to talk to some guys. Just hang around here. He’ll be back.”
I sighed. “I know you guys think this is bullshit, but it’s the truth. Alex is Vince’s son, and my family is going to give him away if Vince can’t protect me.”
“Yeah,” Rafa said. “You told me that already.”
He looked away and began to do something on his computer, and I just sighed again. He’d clearly lost interest in me, and so I concentrated on rocking Alex. Hopefully he’d fall asleep after having eaten something.
Raising a baby was hard, especially in a household where nobody wanted him. My father was such a conservative asshole, so obsessed with the old ways and how things should be. The idea of keeping a baby around that had no father was abhorrent to him, completely wrong and immoral. He’d rather give Alex to some stranger than raise his own flesh and blood, all because his honor was offended.
He was stuck in the old world, living with the old rules. People got pregnant all the time by mistake. True, I’d never thought it would be me. I had never for a second thought I would have some stranger’s baby all because of one stupid mistake, but I couldn’t exactly take it back.
And part of me didn’t want to take it back. Alex was a lot of work, but he was so beautiful, so cute, and he smelled so good. He was my son, and I would do anything for him, including betraying my own family to seek help from the people they hated the most.
I wondered if Soph was okay. I was sure they were interrogating her right about now, and I hoped she was just cooperating. It didn’t matter if they knew where I was anymore now that I’d gotten away.
“Tell me something,” Rafa said after a few minutes.
“Sure.”
“What do you expect to get out of Vince?”
I cocked my head at him. “Nothing really. Protection for a little while, at least until my father decides that he isn’t going to tear Alex away from me.”
Rafa frowned at me. “You really think your old man is going to forgive you after this?”
I looked at him silently for a second.
And I realized that he was right.
I didn’t know what I expected to happen. All I knew was that I needed someone to help me keep Alex safe, and Vince could do that. But I’d never really considered my long-term plans.
Rafa was right. My father was never going to forgive me for this. He was going to see it as an insult to the entire family, the whole organization.
I shook my head. “I don’t know, Rafa.”
“Seems to me that you didn’t think this one through too much.”
“They were going to take my son away,” I said. “I did what I had to do.”
“Yeah. You keep saying that.” He smiled at me. “Cute kid at least.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door.
“Enter,” Rafa called out.