“Are you ok?” he asks quickly, and his hands are on mine. “God, Calla, are you ok? Open your eyes, open your eyes.”
“Calla, be ok,” a voice urges and I can’t tell if it’s Dare or Finn.
I can’t tell
I can’t tell
I can’t tell.
“Be ok,” it instructs again and I try but the heavy heavy weight on my chest is too much and I can’t breathe and I can’t breathe. But I have to protect my brother, and if I live, Finn cannot. I release my grip and my lungs are empty and I stop.
I stop.
I stop breathing.
“You’re dying,” Dare whispers into my neck. “If you don’t wake up, you’ll be lost.”
The water slides down my cheek into my neck and a hand holds mine and blackness is here and I slip into oblivion.
Oblivion is real.
That much I know.
It’s warm and comforting like a blanket.
It hugs me, and I’m gone.
And all the evil spirits, who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Amen.
Chapter Thirty
The world slows to a stop.
It’s dark.
There is no ocean.
There are no waves.
There is no sun or rain or moon.
I stay this way for so long, suspended, alone, unafraid.
And then,
A breath.
From my lips.
Suddenly, without warning.
I gasp, and there is only my breathing, and beeps, and fingers wrapped around my hand, and I’m in a bed. I’m not in the ocean or on the cliffs.
“Come back to me, Calla,” Dare whispers, and angst laces his words, and his words impale my heart. “Please God, come back to me. Time is running out. Don’t do this, please, God, don’t do this. They’re going to take you off the machine, and if you don’t breathe on your own, you’ll die. Please God. Please.”
He begs someone, whether it is God or me, I don’t know.
“We’ve already lost everything else,” he whispers. “Please, God. Come back to me. Come home to me. Come home.”
I try to open my eyes, but it’s too hard.
My eyelids are heavy.
The darkness is black.
Dare keeps talking, his words slow and soothing and I might float away on them. It would be so easy.
Death waits for me,
Only it’s not death.
It’s Olivia Savage.
I can see her face now, and she waits in the light behind Dare’s shoulder.
She nods.
It’s time.
But it can’t be. Because Dare is here, and still holding my hand. He talks to me, he tells me everything that’s happened, and when he gets tired of talking, he hums.
The same wordless, tuneless song I’ve been hearing all along.
Death moves closer, one step nearer.
I try to cry out, but nothing comes.
I try again to open my eyes, but I can’t. And I can’t move my fingers.
It’s all too much.
Too much.
I think about getting frantic,
And I almost do.
But to keep calm,
I replay the facts in my head.
My name is Calla Price.
I’m eighteen years old, and I’m half of a whole.
My other half, my twin brother, my Finn, is crazy.
Finn is dead.
My mother is dead.
Dare’s mother is dead.
I’ve spent every summer at Whitley my entire life.
I’ve loved Dare since I was small.
I’ve been floating in a sea of insanity, and I can’t wake up.
I can’t wake up.
Dare is my lifeline.
He’s still here.
I focus every ounce of strength I have, trying to force my hand into gripping his, the hands that I love so much, the hand that has held mine for so long.
But I’m helpless.
I’m weak.
Olivia, takes another step, but I can’t scream.
It’s when she touches Dare that I bolster my strength.
She puts his hand on Dare’s shoulder, And I can’t take that.
Don’t touch Dare, I want to scream. You died, but you’re not taking him! He’s innocentHe’sInnocentHe’sInnocent!
But her fingers drum on Dare’s skin,
And everything in me boils,
And screams.
And somehow,
Some way,
I harness my energy,
And my finger twitches.
Dare’s humming stops.
“Calla?” he asks quickly, hope so potent in his voice. “Wake up. If you don’t wake up, you’ll die.”