“What the hell are you goin’ on about?”
“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this little princess? No, of course you don’t. Completely. Clueless.”
“Seriously, Quinn. Who is having a baby?”
“No one!” she screams, looking just about as crazy as she sounds.
“Do you need some water? Maybe you should sit down for a little while, hell-raiser. I think the heat’s gettin’ to you.”
She looks around before pointing up to one of the many vents in the ceiling of the barn.
“This place has air-conditioning, Mav.”
“Right. Okay? So you’re normally crazy. Got it.”
“I’m not crazy!”
“You also aren’t sane, darlin’. You’re talkin’ some crazy shit.”
“Now you listen here, Maverick, and you listen real good. I don’t want to know what happened that night. I know enough and what I know explains oh so much. For as long as she’s been alive, Leigh’s only wanted one thing. You. Of course, you put a mighty big wrench in those dreams before you left town, but not once did she give those dreams up. Sure, she might have tried breaking all the chains that connected her heart to yours, but when those chains proved their unbreakable strength, she was forced to build a wall around her heart and climb over it. Sealing it away from everyone else while that damn heart continued to remain tied to you. Even after all these years, I know that like I know the sky is blue and the grass is green.”
“I think you’re reading too much into this,” I say with a grunt, crossing my arms and leaning back against the stall post, but fuck if her words don’t hit me hard.
“I’m not and you know it. She’s scared. I get it now. She never, not once in her life, found someone else strong enough to break that wall down and sever those chains to you, no matter how open she was to searching for someone that could. And I would guess she just realized that no one ever will.”
My stomach knots, and as much as I would love to deny what Quinn said, a big part of me knows she’s right. I’ve felt the same way through the years. The tug my heart felt whenever I would think about her telling me that I would always feel the absence of her, that night in the trees.
I pushed Leighton away because deep down, I knew she was it for me and if I admitted that, I wouldn’t be able to get out. I struck with words sharper than any physical touch, knowing damn well that I was pushing her away so that she wouldn’t be able to keep me here. Staying here would have killed me, even though leaving her did the trick all the same.
All I had wanted, my whole life, was to be the best damn cowboy the rodeo had ever seen, but all it took was once glance in her direction and none of it mattered anymore.
All she had to do was walk into a room and I forgot it all.
I forgot because she became the only thing I wanted more than my need to chase my dreams. The only thing I craved more than escaping.
For one split second, before I could change my mind, I allowed myself to become what I always feared—Buford Davis—and I used my words to cause enough damage to ensure that I would never have the one thing that would keep me in this town and away from my dreams.
Her.
Only now I know that those dreams meant nothing without her to share them with. I gave up one thing to chase the other, and right now I’m just praying I’m not too late to fix the mistakes of my past.
“Fight for her, Maverick,” Quinn whispers.
I look in her eyes, let her words sink in, and speak the truth. “Workin’ on it, honey.”
11
LEIGHTON
“Why Ya Wanna” by Jana Kramer
“That’s the sixth pie today that you’ve thrown in the trash, sweetheart.”
I look up at Jana, blowing a loose blond strand of hair that had escaped my ponytail out of my face. “It didn’t taste right,” I grumble, more to myself than her, feeling the need to defend my crazy actions.
And that’s just what I’ve been doing. Acting like I’m bat shit crazy all because some man has my mind all screwed up.
“Oh, I’m sure that isn’t the case. You could make them in your sleep. Why don’t you take off, beautiful girl? I can finish up here and get the fridges prepped.”
“That’s not going to happen.”
“And why not?”
I look up with a smile, the first one I’ve had come naturally all day, and laugh at her sassiness. “I already filled the fridges for Monday’s stock.”
Jana throws up her hands. “Well, honey child, what are you still doing here then? We closed hours ago!”
“Better question would be why are you still here? You know I love being here. It’s the best place around to think.” I laugh, moving to the sink to wash my pie-filled hands and gather the cleaning supplies to scrub down the countertops.
Truth be told, there was nothing wrong with that pie, or any of the other ones. I just didn’t realize—again—that I baked another one of Maverick’s favorite pies until after I’d pulled it out hot and steaming from the oven. I had been doing it all day. I would be elbow deep in something off our normal menu, then next thing I knew I was looking at a cookie dough pie with no memory of making it.
I couldn’t shake him, and it was pissing me off. He was back in my mind deeper than he had ever been before.
Jana pointedly turned away and started folding towels. “What else am I gonna do?”
“I’m pretty sure that Bart would be more than happy to give you some suggestions,” I joke, knowing damn well that her man would be happy to see her home early on a Saturday night. “You ready to marry that handsome man yet?” I laugh at the old joke that never seems to get old when it comes to Jana and Bart. She’s been putting off marrying the poor man for so long I’m not even sure why he keeps asking, but ask he does. I think we’re up to eleven times now he’s asked her to be his wife.
“That man is probably already passed out in front of the TV. You know he spends his Saturdays catching up on those stupid shows he misses all week. And I already told you, I’ll marry his cranky butt the day you take a vacation!”
“Nothing wrong with daytime television, Jana. And I don’t need a vacation.” I continue to giggle to myself. She might joke, but I think she continues to tell him no because she likes telling people she’s living in sin. Every time I ask her when she’s going to finally marry her man of the past fifteen years, she comes up with another off-the-wall excuse.