“I don’t know,” my father said. “Several hundred are dead. Too many to know exactly who—when I couldn’t find you, Freya, I thought . . .”
I stared at him, running over the words, checking and then checking again that I’d heard correctly. It didn’t make sense. It couldn’t make sense. “But you’re alive.”
“I was lucky. I was distracted, I wasn’t eating at the feast . . .”
“So other people survived?” Naomi said. Her grip on my arm was painfully tight. “Other people are still alive?”
“Some,” my father said. “Not many. I haven’t seen your brother.”
“I have to go.” She let go of my arm. “I have to look for him.”
“I’ll go with you.” That thought, at least, made sense to me. Naomi needed help. I could help her. I clung to the idea, the clarity of it. But my father grabbed me, holding me in place.
“No. It isn’t safe, Freya. You can’t go back.”
“You said they were poisoned. So it won’t be dangerous to go back now.”
“Some are still—not everyone is dead yet, Freya. And I can’t risk you. We can’t risk you. Not now.”
“You can’t risk me? There’s no risk.” No one would ever want to attack me. “We’ll bring gloves. We won’t touch anything. It’ll be safe.”
“No, Freya!” He grabbed both of my shoulders again. “Listen. Hundreds of people died, and more are close to it. The whole line to the throne is dead.”
“So we should help those who are left!”
“Listen to me, Freya. Everyone is dead. Everyone before you. That makes you queen. You can’t go back there.”
I laughed. It wasn’t funny, not any of it, but the sound ripped out of me, the only way I could react to the ridiculousness of it. I’d seen them, alive, only a few hours before. “I can’t be queen.”
“This is not a joke, Freya.” He spoke sharply now, almost aggressively. “The first one in the line of succession to survive is you.”
“No. I’m twenty-third in line.” I was as likely to rule as Dagny was. That was why I was allowed to skip balls, why I was permitted to spend my time in the laboratory, why no one would even have noticed that I left the grounds tonight. I didn’t matter. I was nobody to them.
“Freya, listen to what I am saying. Someone wanted to destroy the court tonight. They wanted to kill the entire line to the throne, and they almost succeeded. You are the first one left.”
I couldn’t be queen. I couldn’t. So many people would have to die for me to inherit the throne, and they couldn’t be gone. I’d seen them, a few hours ago. All alive, completely themselves. I’d never liked most of them, but I hadn’t wanted them to die.
Dagny butted against my hand, and I swept her up into my arms, hugging her so tightly she mewed in protest.
“But my brother,” Naomi said. “He’s ahead of me in line to the throne. Ahead of me, but after Freya. What happened to him?”
“I don’t know!” My father was almost shouting now. “I didn’t see him. He may have left, himself.”
Naomi stumbled toward the door. Her legs didn’t seem able to hold her weight. “I have to get back to the palace. I have to know. I have to look—”
But the guards blocked the doorway, and they did not step aside.
“We cannot let you go, my lady,” one said.
“I have to see my brother!”
“No,” my father said. “No, they’re right. You’re in line to the throne, too. Thirty-sixth before tonight? You have to be protected, as well.”
Naomi shook her head, over and over, but the guards still didn’t move.
“We must act quickly,” my father said. “I’m sure our enemies are already planning to take advantage of the situation. We have to move now, before they have time to act against you.”
“We don’t have enemies,” I said. “How could we have enemies?”
“You’re queen, Freya. And we must ensure you remain that way. We need to leave—now. We will have the servants fetch whatever you need later.”
He gestured for me to place Dagny back on the table. I tightened my grip. I was not leaving Dagny behind. Not now. Contrary to what many people seemed to think, I wasn’t a fool. I read my history books. I knew how these things ended. The fights over who was the rightful heir, the fate of hapless girls shoved at the throne because of tenuous family connections, the overbold young men with dreams of glory. If I claimed my supposed throne, I’d be sticking out my neck for anyone to take a swing. And if I failed to hold the crown . . .
But if I didn’t claim the throne, I’d still be in danger. Who would leave the rightful heir alive, if they wanted to control the throne themselves?
I wasn’t going to leave Dagny behind tonight. Dagny helped me think. Dagny helped me breathe. I was going to need both of those things if I was going to survive this.
“I’ll go,” I said. “But someone needs to look for Naomi’s brother. They have to help her.” I looked at the guards, waiting for them to move. Instead, they looked to my father.
“Very well,” my father said. “Someone will look for him. But Naomi must come with us.” He gestured at the door, but didn’t move. I didn’t move, either.
He was waiting for me to walk through first. Because I held precedence now. Because I was the queen.
I couldn’t be the queen.
I grabbed Naomi’s hand and squeezed it before stepping forward. My legs shook.
Queen. I was queen.
THREE
NEWS OF THE ATTACKS HAD CLEARLY ALREADY SPREAD. Even more people crowded the streets now than they had last night, and the air seemed to have changed, heavy with fear. People shouted at our carriage as we squeezed past—is it true? Is the king hurt? Is the king dead?
Crowds bumped against the carriage, and the horses danced out of the way. Our curtains were clipped shut, barely letting any light through, preventing anyone from seeing me and my guards. But what would they think, even if they could see me? I was just a girl clutching a cat. Not exactly someone who looked like they had information.
“There should be guards on the streets,” my father murmured. “This could turn into a riot.”
I clutched my hands in my lap, squeezing my knuckles until they turned white. A riot. I could picture it like it was already happening, the people screaming, running, our carriage knocked over in the panic . . . but it wasn’t happening now. It wouldn’t happen. It was fine. It was fine.
“We are trying, my lord,” one of the guards said. “We were all taken by surprise.”
I looked across at Naomi. Her fear was a physical presence in the carriage, but I couldn’t think what to say. Anything reassuring felt like a lie. I was terrible with words, and now that they really did matter, I didn’t have a clue how to help her.