To my wonderful agent, Jo Unwin. Thank you for your unstinting and unwavering encouragement, support, and all-round cheerleading of me and of Ruth. Thank you for spotting our potential and hanging in there, for always knowing the right thing to say, and for your honesty and kindness and invaluable advice.
I’m very lucky to have such a wonderful team of people behind me in the publishing world. To everyone at Jo Unwin Literary Agency, at Rogers, Coleridge & White, at Hachette, and at Gelfman Schneider, who has worked so hard to bring Little Deaths into the world, and to give it the best chance of succeeding: especially Deborah Schneider, Paul Whitlatch, Lauren Hummel, Michelle Aielli, Saba Ahmed, and Isabel Adomakoh Young. And at Picador, an enormous thank you to everyone who has been involved with Little Deaths, especially Paul Baggaley, Lara Borlenghi, Laura Carr, Lucie Cuthbertson-Twiggs, Alice Dewing, Amy Lines, and Nuzha Nuseibeh; to Justine Anweiler for my exquisite and outstanding cover; to Sarah McLean for making me feel at home by talking about serial killers; and to my wonderful editor and stalwart cheerleader, the hugely talented Francesca Main.
To everyone who read and commented on early drafts of this book, especially Francesca Pagnacco, Carrie Plitt, Karen Campbell, Andrew Wille, and L. E. Yates. Your comments and suggestions made this a far better book.
To Clare Palmer, for your practical help and generosity. Without you and your retreat, your kitchen table and your Squeaks, writing this book would have been a far tougher and far lonelier experience.
And to the other Kings Place Writers, who continue to offer friendship, support, and tough critiquing: Andrea Terroni, Geraldine Terry, Harriet Sawyer, and Sydnee Blake.
To my North London Writers Group, who so generously read an entire draft of this novel, and provided immensely valuable and constructive feedback to a demanding and stressed writer at short notice: Adi Bloom, Alix Christie, Cathy de Freitas, Zoe Gilbert, Eva Holland, Adam Marek, Anna Mazzola, and Evie Miller. (Neil Blackmore, Lily Dunn, and Yojana Sharma—your input was missed!)
To my other writer friends: Rae Stoltenkamp, Raf Torrubia, Claire McTague, Deb Jess Kermode, Katja Sass, Sarah Steele, and Frances Pearce. Thank you for your support and camaraderie over the years, and for being so willing to share the ups and downs of the process of becoming a writer. And to Nichole Beauchamp, thank you for introducing me to the original writers’ group, and for your continued and valued friendship.
To my oldest friends, especially Nicola Hill, Yvonne Rhodes-James, Helen Parr, Veronica Teall, Matthew Redhead and Libby Summers, Una and James Eve, and Candi Bloxham: this book has been a long time in the making, and you’ve all influenced it. And to Faye Emery and Bernardo Rodriguez-Gonzalez: thank you for providing a wonderful location for me to work on (almost) the last draft. Hilton Farm saved Five Writers Go(ing) Mad in Bude, and in dire need of a retreat at short notice.
To my fabulous fellow Faber students: thank you for your warmth, honesty, and encouragement. This has been an astonishing journey, and one I’m proud to be sharing with you.
To my teachers, particularly Sarah Fearon and Robin Hodnett, for teaching me to think critically and to be interested in the world around me. And to Adrian Beard: thank you for not giving up on me despite a disastrous beginning to my English A-level, and for teaching me to read critically. Without you, I wouldn’t have fallen in love with language, and I wouldn’t have started an English degree.
To Marie Larkin, who taught me that I could do it.
To Julia Bell, who was the first real writer I met, and who told me I was a writer too. Thank you for taking me seriously.
To all the people I’ve worked with who became friends instead of colleagues: thank you for keeping me sane for the past twenty years, and for all those nights in the pub. I owe you a pint. A special thanks to Christian Reichert and Laura Colclough, who helped make it possible for me to spend time on the last couple of drafts in 2016.
And finally, to all the dreadful managers and employers I’ve had: thank you for making my day job so awful that I rushed to escape into Ruth’s world every night and every weekend. You made me determined.