Octavia needed a handy man or had to make it easier for me. All she had to do was measure correctly and she would always have the proper size. I could tell her that but then she’d get pissy and have me pack it back up.
“I’ll just order a few more sets I suppose,” she said with a wave of her hand, as if this were an easy fix and she had no time to stress over it. I wondered how long this was going to entertain her? When it would become boring and she would walk away and want something else to sustain her, another fucking whim she’d abandon? Her father always granted her wishes. This was just another expedition, Octavia would eventually ignore.
The name of the store should be Whimsy’s or Whimsical or Octavia’s . . . I Don’t Really Care. That was all this was. She’d never admit that was true. When you’re enabled and rescued time and again you don’t have to look at yourself. It’s like a mirror without any glass. All you see is your next big screw up.
“I’m starving. Have you found anywhere good to eat?”
“My grandpops,” was my response. She knew it would be. Just like I knew she would scrunch her nose in distaste.
“No thanks. I’ll Google it. Go wash up and let’s take Bliss to have a decent lunch. I need to keep her around.”
“Bliss likes grandpops,” I shot back. That was asking for trouble. But damn if Octavia didn’t suddenly annoy me and it only took twenty fucking minutes.
She didn’t even turn back. “Of course she does. She’s simple.”
Then she walked through the door to the front of the store, her high and mighty completely intact.
Bliss wasn’t simple. Not by a long shot.
I went to the restroom, washed my hands then stared at myself in the mirror. I needed mental preparation for this. To remind myself why I chose Octavia and why Bliss wasn’t a fit. I had no place in my heart or future for all that Bliss would require. And if I admitted that . . . the idea that I could let myself love her and then have her cancer come back, scared the shit out of me.
That would break me into pieces. I wasn’t willing to be broken or made that vulnerable, which was selfish and all about my safety, the most fucking selfish thought I’d ever had and I was pretty damn sure I’d had plenty. But it was true and I accepted my truths. I didn’t pretend to be noble. At least not anymore . . .
Seven years ago . . .
I was early. Bliss told me to meet her at our spot on the beach around ten this morning. It was nine thirty. I didn’t want her to get here before me. Not after yesterday. She’d let me kiss her and it was hands down the best kiss I’d ever had. Not that I’d had that many. And I wasn’t counting Lila Kate. Neither one of us had kissed anyone before three years ago when we decided to practice on one other. It grossed us both out. Like kissing a sibling. Didn’t happen again.
Kissing Bliss had been amazing. She smelled like the coconut in her tanning oil along with something else. It was unique to her and I couldn’t get enough of it. When I leaned in to kiss her last night I was afraid she’d push me away. She hadn’t. She’d slipped her hands up my arms and linked her fingers behind my neck. It’d been hard to let go after that.
So this morning I’m waiting on her. Making sure she knew that the kiss meant a lot, that she was special and that I loved her. I hadn’t really thought love was possible until you were older and experienced. I realized I was wrong. My heart was so damn tight when I looked at her that it ached when she walked away. I wasn’t sure there was any definitive thing that could explain what love was. To me this was my definition.
“You’re Nate Finlay aren’t you?” I turned to see a girl whose body advertised that she was at least eighteen. Her boobs were about to spill from her bikini. They were the biggest I’d seen close up. Her long blonde hair was thrown over her shoulder and the tanned skin she so generously exposed was shiny with oil and early sweat. If I hadn’t grown up on a beach then this might be exciting. But I was a Finlay and in my world I had this in my face quite often, especially at the country club.
I wasn’t sure how the girl knew my name. I shrugged my shoulders and glanced back down the beach looking for Bliss with urgency. “Yeah, but I don’t know you.”
She giggled and I cringed. I didn’t like the gigglers. They annoyed the shit out of me. Bliss didn’t do the flirty giggle thing. Two years back that was the primary reason Bliss became attractive to me. Of course, after raw beauty.
“My grandparents are members of The Kerrington Club. I normally spend a month each summer in Rosemary Beach with them. I’ve seen you there.”
The two beaches were only two and a half hours apart. But seriously, the place had to follow me here? Jesus.
“Well now,” I replied. “Now you see me here.” I tried my hardest to sound like an asshole so she’d leave before Bliss got here. I didn’t need her walking up to me while talking to Miss Big Tits, especially after last night’s kiss.
She did the giggle again. “Yes, I do. Want to sit with my friends and I? I saw you yesterday with the young girl and pointed you out to them. They’re fascinated that your grandfather is Dean Finlay.”
My dad’s dad is the famous drummer for Slacker Demon. They’re the iconic rock band that was now retired for the most part. They’d become grandfathers and the new generation wasn’t to their liking. When asked they came together for fundraisers, but that was the extent of their performances. Still though, there were the worshippers. They had a lifetime of fame that spanned three generations of fans that would never forget them.
“Most people are,” I replied. And just as I said those words Bliss’s dark hair came into view. She was walking this way somewhat casually. The simple white lace cover-up she wore over her hot pink bikini didn’t show nearly as much body, compared to this other girl. Bliss looked classy and sure of herself. She had the brain to go with everything else. “Excuse me, my girl is here,” I said without looking back. I then headed to meet Bliss in my eagerness. Had I been another guy, one who wasn’t in love with Bliss York then I’d gone the other route. She would’ve been my first and I would’ve enjoyed every moment of losing my virginity. I knew that, but no, not now, she wasn’t what I was looking for.
Bliss York
LUNCH WITH NATE and Octavia. Great. Just what I wanted to do. Never.
Sitting across from them at some fancy lunch place that I didn’t even know was in Sea Breeze I tried to keep a polite smile and I didn’t make eye contact with Nate. Which was difficult when I could feel his steady gaze on me. Watching me. Trying to read something into my expressions. I was easy to read. I hated that. Knowing he could see how uncomfortable I was.