JULIAN WOULD BE happy to know I listened to his advice—for once. Since the night at Troy’s house, I’ve been trying to put everything out of my head and just enjoy being with Ember. A day hasn’t gone by where we haven’t seen each other. Between going on interviews, continuing to search for jobs, and her additional shifts at Anna’s, it’s a juggle. But we make it work. We don’t talk much about what happens after the summer ends, though I know it’s weighing on both of our minds—for different reasons.
This is all new to me. Being with a girl, not only for this length of time, but without having sex. My body craves Ember in a way I never have before, but fear of the unknown keeps me awake at night and stops me from touching her in the desperate way I want to.
I close my eyes, my thoughts drifting to Ember as I gently pluck the strings of my guitar. Warmth settles around me, flowing in and through my veins. I picture the gentle curl of her lips, the brightness in her gaze. Something has been building inside my chest. It’s foreign and fucking uncomfortable, and yet, it makes me unable to control my smile or the beat of my heart.
Lyrics tumble from my mouth, the soft pull of my guitar falls in step with them.
I had no idea
I was walking blindly through my days
Never really seeing
Never really knowing
But along came you
Along came life
Along came life
“Hey.”
I’m smiling before I even open my fucking eyes. That’s how gone I am for this girl.
“How long have you been standing there?” I ask, taking in the sweet tug of her smile, the confident jut of her hip, the slight tilt of her head as she watches me. Her walnut-colored hair lies below her shoulders now, a bit longer than when we first met. She has a certain glow too, in the pink of her cheeks, the glitter of her eyes. I can’t help but wonder if that has something to do with me.
“Long enough to know you’ve been hiding your voice from me. It’s raspy and gorgeous. I’m kind of blown away actually.”
“Well,” I chuckle, “let’s not get carried away.”
She struts toward me, a gleam in those green eyes. “I think we should most definitely get carried away.” She drops to her knees in front of me, sexy as all get-out and leans in to give me a quick kiss on the lips. “In fact, I think we should get carried away tomorrow night.”
“I’m intrigued,” I reply, staring at her mouth. “What’s tomorrow night?”
She lifts the guitar and places it on my bed, then plops herself into my lap. Draping her arms around my neck, she goes on. “I thought I could make you dinner and… whatever. My mom and Avery won’t be around, so….”
“I don’t know.” I wrap my arms around her waist and edge closer, pressing my lips to the corner of her mouth. Her smile tingles against my skin. “It seems to me you’re just trying to get me naked.”
Her blush arrives, as usual, but she doesn’t back down. “And you would be right.” She wiggles her ass against my jeans and I’m instantly hard. “Am I convincing enough?”
“Hmph.” My finger brushes down the side of her face, the slope of her neck. “I need a little more convincing, I think.”
“Like what?”
“Like this.” I grab her cheeks, dragging her mouth closer to suck on the delicate skin of her full bottom lip before finding my way inside. Her tongue reaches for me, warm and wet, and so damn sweet. She tastes of light and joy, and all the things I’ve missed out on for too long. But I stop thinking and focus on her mouth, her breaths, the tangle of her tongue with mine. Her hands come up to cradle my face, and I never knew that someone’s touch—the right person’s touch—could make me feel this way. As if anything is possible. And fuck, I want her so much.
Ember’s lips leave mine, her expression dazed yet hopeful. “Is that a yes?”
Trailing my hand along her back and slipping underneath her hair, I bring her forehead to my mouth for a kiss. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be tomorrow night than with you.”
She drops her head against my shoulder, breathing a long sigh into my neck. “Good.”
We stay like that for a while. Me stroking her hair, her soft breaths warming my skin. I never realized how peaceful silence can be.
“Can I ask you something?” Her voice is low, words a whisper in the quiet. “Did you ever think about playing in a band or anything? You’re that good, Vance.”
The smell of her peach shampoo relaxes me and I rest my chin against the silky strands, breathing her in. “When I was younger, some friends of mine and I had this garage band. It was just for fun really, but it was pretty cool. My best friend Chris Raven played bass, and two other guys played drums and keyboard. I sang lead vocals and also played guitar.”
“I’ve never heard you talk about Chris before. Do you still see him?” she asks, her finger tracing over my palm. Regret fills the air at the mention of his name and I wonder if she can feel the weight of it. Whenever I’m with her now, vulnerability pours off of me in waves, exposing me. The depth of my feelings for her making it impossible to hide.
I respond with a frustrated growl, not because of her question, but my own actions. “I don’t. I kind of… fucked everything up when my mom got sick. I blew him out of my life, pushing him and everyone else away. I couldn’t deal. Didn’t want to, really.”