Sean’s voice calls out, “Bree. Where’re you goin’?”
My body doesn’t stop moving until Chris Monroe’s door is shut behind me and a line of cars are at my back. I collapse onto the curb by Sean’s car, and squeeze my eyes shut. My nails dig into my forearms and I wanna tuck all the different thoughts and ideas rushing my brain into the corner pocket of my stomach, but it feels like there’s not enough room. I suck air through my nose and out of my mouth in a slow stream but everything’s all jerky and jagged as don’t cry don’t cry don’t cry loops in and out.
My breathing slows and I congratulate myself for not getting too deep in the curbside air-heaving dramatics. I can breathe again. I’m fine. I’m okay.
Saying yes to this party was a mistake. I don’t know who I’m the most mad at right now. Jane for being such a shithead or Todd for being a slimy cheating dog pig? And then there’s Kallie who’s been so oblivious. Molly too. And that whole deal about Kallie’s mom. What is wrong with these people? And where is Sean? He probably should’ve run out here after me. Would I even want him to? I rake my hand through my hair. It’s tangly and slightly wet at my hairline from sweat. No, I’m glad he can’t see me like this. I’m a mess. I’m the one I should be most mad at. I’m the idiot. I should be back there calling those guys out on all their bullshit, instead of punking out with some crybaby move.
A rhythmic swish and the sound of heels clicking the pavement slices through my neurosis.
Palming the coarse concrete of the curb with one hand, I peer from the side of Sean’s car. Immediately my body jerks back, freezing into hiding as Jane’s figure passes by. The clicking of her heels gets farther away but then she spins around and paces the street, peering into car windows. She settles on a red car in front of Sean’s and leans against the driver’s side checking herself out in the side view mirror, then pulling a phone from her oversized sparkly silver bag.
“Sean. Where’d you say your car was?” She pauses. “Nothing. I’m fine. It’s red, right? Maroon? Oh. Okay, same difference. Bye.”
She clicks her heel into the bottom ridge of the red car’s tire and dials another number. “What’re you doing there? Oh. Can I talk to my mom, please?” Jane pushes herself off the car. She exhales a low growl and begins pacing again. Back and forth from the red car to the blue one across the street. Her breathing is loud and clipped, almost like mine just was.
Damn, this girl gets so worked up about everything.
“Mom, what’re you doing? … Okaaaay, well, why’s Dad over? … Yeah, I know—I just—” She wipes away a line of tears though her voice doesn’t give away that she’s even crying. “Mom. Right, I know. But you said you’d stay at his place when you wanted to spend time together. Well, I was sleeping over but now I’m not. I’m coming home. No, like, now. Tonight—in like an half hour … No, I can’t. Molly’s aunt’s in town or something. I just want to come home. No, I’m not being a bitch, I just thought—it’s only been a couple weeks and we had an agreement. You said he wouldn’t be at our house. I’m trying too, Okay? Plus, I had a dumb fight with my boyfriend. No, I’m fine, I just want to come home. Fine, but he’ll be gone before I get there, right? Okay, thanks … Love you too.” She stuffs the phone back into her purse, walks up and kicks the tire of the blue car. “Ow. Sunuvabitch.” She yanks her foot out of her strappy silver heel, wiggles her toes, then shoves them back into the shoe. Slipping down into a squat, she screams into her handbag, “Fuck you. Fuck my life. Just fuck it.” There’s a couple short sobs and then Jane jumps back up, wipes her eyes, and brushes her jeans off with renewed energy. She adjusts the shoulder strap of her bag and walks back toward Chris’s house with a final, fiery drawn-out growl.
My phone vibrates into a ring in my bag. I pull it out, poking the silence button before it shouts me out to Jane and her wrath.
SEAN MILLS.
I pause as Jane steps back into the house.
“Hello?” I whisper into my phone.
“Bree. Where’d you go? Why’d you leave like that?”
“Ugh, I don’t know. I don’t even want to know. That’s the problem. I know those guys are your friends, but what jerks.”
“Wait. You don’t know where you are?” Sean asks.
“Oh sorry, um … I’m outside. By your car.”
He sighs loudly into the phone. “On my way.”
Click.
Definitely not a good time to confront Todd or Jane. I have no idea what’s going on. Can’t even call Kallie right now. Maybe when I get home or in the morning so I can decide what to say. Okay. Definitely in the morning.