You’re saying I’m fragile I try not to be I search for something only I can’t see “Will you dance with me?”
He wrapped his arms around me without question and danced with me, to my favorite song. A love song about a girl who is fragile yet tries not to be and a man who never thought he was good enough.
Go on and tell me that song wasn’t written for us.
Lovers forever, face to face
Stay with me, stay
I need you to love me
Give me to your leather
Take from me my lace
You can’t, can you?”
I looked back to the bar and watched him push back the stool and make his way through the bar towards the restrooms. I diverted my eyes back to Brandon.
“How about a raincheck on the dance? I have to use the ladies room,” I said as I stood up.
I didn’t wait for him to answer me and took off in the same direction as Blackie. The door to men’s room was closed, so I leaned against the wall across from it and waited for him to come out.
Face to face, me and him, leather and lace.
When he didn’t emerge right away I started for the door, prepared to open it and walk right inside to pull him away from whatever self-destruction he was no doubt engaging in. Why after everything, after the way he hurt me, did I still want to be the one who healed him?
I know why.
I love him.
And I still believe he loves me.
The door opened as I reached for the knob and we walked right into one another. I lifted my head and met his gaze, recognizing the warmth in his eyes before they quickly turned cold and uninviting.
“How long are you going to pretend I don’t exist?”
My voice was so low I wasn’t even sure he heard the question until he stepped closer, the scent of his cologne assaulted my senses, weakening me and making me copy his footsteps until we were a breath a part.
Hold me.
Tell me it was all a lie.
Tell me you love me as much as I love you.
Let me be your queen because you’ll always be my king.
“Until you disappear once and for all,” he seethed, glaring at me, shattering the hope reborn in my heart.
Then he was gone.
Like a phantom.
All he left behind was tears in my eyes and the scent of his cologne.
What’s it going to take for you to realize he doesn’t want you?
I get it.
I finally get it.
I wanted to go home, climb into bed and wait for tomorrow. I stepped out from the darkened hallway and scanned the bar for Daniela but she was nowhere in sight. I made my way back to Brandon who was exactly where I left him and playing on his phone.
He lifted his head and smiled at me when I reached for his hand.
“Can we get out of here?” I pleaded.
“Sure,” he said instantly, reaching into his pocket for some cash. He glanced at the check, threw a few bills on the table and continued to hold my hand as he led me to the bar. He stood behind Blackie and called over his shoulder to the bartender.
“The bill is on the table,” Brandon said.
I saw Blackie twist in his stool and quickly I turned my back to him, unable to withstand another blow to my heart.
Goodbye Blackie.
I let Brandon escort me out of the bar into the parking lot and toward his car. He opened the car door for me, held it while I climbed in and then bent down so he was level with me. He lifted his hand to my cheek.
“Anyone who lets you go is a fool,” he said, softly.
I stared at him for a beat and then I was consumed by the need to feel something, anything other than pain and confusion. I wanted to erase Blackie from my mind and my heart and had no idea how to do that. But here was Brandon, and he wasn’t looking at me like I was nothing, like he wished I’d disappear.
I reached for him, wrapping one arm around his neck as I leaned and pressed my lips against his. The instant our mouths touched and his tongue pried my lips apart I felt like I was having an out of body experience.
He broke the kiss, closed my door and jogged around the car. Once he was inside he locked the doors and leaned over me again. I didn’t have a chance to ask him why or even object because his mouth crashed over mine.
I became lost in my mind, comparing the way Brandon sloppily kissed me to the way Blackie expertly did. This wasn’t making anything better, just making me miss him more and feel cheap and worse than that, made me feel like I was going against my heart.
I heard him drag the zipper of his jeans down and I quickly pushed my palms against his chest but he pressed himself against me and shoved his tongue deeper inside my mouth.
I pushed again and this time his hands found my hips and pushed me back against the fabric of the seat. I felt the hardness of his dick against my leg and knew I was in trouble. I turned my head, pulling my mouth away from his.
“Brandon, stop! I don’t want to do this,” I protested.
“Yes you do,” he insisted as he ripped my shirt open. “I’ll make you forget that old fuck ever existed,” he growled as he dipped his head and his mouth closed over the lace that covered my nipple.