Dallas begins lining out the many artists Mandy has launched careers for. It’s an impressive list for someone who is only twenty-seven, and I agree, but I can’t take my eyes off Gavin. He’s visibly upset, whether it’s about the new stipulation from Mandy, the one-night arrangement with me, or the fact that my brother interrupted some seriously intense foreplay, isn’t clear. But the fact that he’s immensely aggravated is.
When Gavin’s eyes finally meet mine, and I make a concentrated effort to convey silently to him that I know our one night will have an effect on me. I do. I’m just willing to do what it takes to survive the fallout because I know it will be worth it. Whatever pain comes after will be worth knowing how it feels to be that close to him, to be connected to him in that way. For him, it’s one night. One he might even forget within a week’s worth of one-night stands. But I know I will keep that one night with me forever. It’s the memory that will become the final piece in my mental treasured-experiences box where I keep the most important moments of my life.
“So we’re okay with this then? Signing the short-term contract with her and seeing what she can do?”
Gavin stares at my brother intently. “You think this chick is the real deal? If you believe she’ll make the right decisions for the band and you trust her, then I think you know I’m in. But if you’re not sure, or you doubt her intentions at all, then slow your roll, man. We’re not in a race here and I’d rather wait as long as it takes to find the right manager than rushing to sign a bad one just to say we have one.”
Dallas turns from Gavin to me and lifts his eyebrows, indicating it’s my turn to speak, so I shrug.
“If you think signing with her is the right decision, then I’m with you.”
With you, but still planning to lie to you because hell will freeze over and grant underprivileged orphans free admission to the ice rink before I tell you about Gavin and me.
My brother nods. “I do. I wouldn’t be here right now if I didn’t. You both know the band is my whole world. I’d never risk doing anything that could ruin what we have.”
The silence hangs heavy in the air as Gavin and I take turns avoiding eye contact with each other. When I can’t take it anymore, I hold my stare steadily on him until he returns it.
“So we’re doing this then.” Maybe it should be a question but somehow it isn’t.
His eyes darken and I know that we’ve crossed our moment of impasse. It’s time for him to lay it on the line and jump into the abyss with me or bail out while he still can. “Yeah. Yeah we are,” Gavin says quietly as if my brother isn’t even there.
Dallas claps his hands together. “Then it’s settled.” He grins at us, and I do my best to look excited about this decision despite an entire universe of things that could go wrong teeming to life in my mind. “We’ll get out of here and let you get some rest, Dix.”
I walk him and Gavin to my door, freezing solid where I stand when Dallas turns to us and asks, “So how was the ice cream?”
My mouth drops open but can’t seem to form any words, but Gavin looks my brother right in the eyes when he answers.
“Best I ever had.”
Chapter 14
Austin MusicFest—Day 4
GAVIN’S PHONE RINGS ELEVEN TIMES DURING OUR INTERVIEW with Scott Levinson, a hipster thirty-something from the Indie Music Review. Scott adjusts his rectangular black-framed glasses frequently while he asks about everything from how we developed our unique sound to Emmylou.
Dallas is midway through explaining our sound to Scott when another one of Gavin’s attempts at silencing his ringer before we hear it fails. Mandy gives him an icy glare. She has an authoritative presence about her that makes me feel even younger than I am. I keep waiting for her to confiscate Gavin’s phone the way teachers did in high school.
“Everything okay?” I mouth silently to Gavin over my shoulder after we finish the interview and prepare to play a few numbers for Scott and Mandy. He gives me a slight nod but averts his gaze and focuses on his drums.