She sounds stung, damaged by the accusation. I move to step ahead of her, instinctively wanting to protect, but she pushes around me until she’s in front of both Dan and me.
‘Does he think I nag him?’ she asks.
‘You and her,’ Frank says, nodding towards me and then turning back to Olivia. ‘You’re a bad influence on him. Driving him to god knows what. Don’t think I don’t know about you. You’re—’
Dan has finally had enough. He moves around Olivia, holding one arm out and pointing towards the road with the other.
‘I think you should be going,’ he says.
‘Oh, aye. Who’s going to make me, tough guy?’
Frank takes a small step back but his shoulders are tight, fists clenched. Dan’s the taller man but I’m not sure what that means any longer. I really don’t want to see a fight.
A light beams out from the house on the opposite side of the road as curtains are pulled. The lace netting starts twitching and, though I can’t see a face, I know this is all being watched. There’ll be other neighbours, too – this is prime entertainment first thing in the morning.
‘I’m going to call the police,’ I say, stepping back towards the house. Olivia hasn’t moved.
‘You do that, darlin’. I’ll tell ’em all about you.’
His words leave me frozen to the spot. There’s plenty to tell – and that’s only from the past two days.
‘What about me?’
The smirk spreads on his face and it feels like everyone has stopped, waiting to hear what he has to say. I know it must be an idle threat, the type of thing people hurl at each other when they’re arguing. But there’s still that sinking feeling in my stomach, that little voice in my ear.
He knows.
‘You okay, mate?’
Everyone turns to look at the newcomer standing on the pavement. The sun is starting to creep across the horizon, blending with the gloomy glow of the street light. I can’t see his face but the man’s hair that tells me it’s Jason.
Frank turns towards the road.
‘You need a hand getting home, pal?’ Jason waves a hand as if to say, ‘follow me’.
Frank wavers, stepping backwards and then forwards, turning between the two competing parties. The curtains are still twitching across the road.
Jason starts to walk along the path, stare fixed on Frank. He’s wearing the exact same jeans and army jacket from yesterday. I wonder if this is his pattern. According to his tag, he’s not allowed to leave Ellie’s until six – so he must have come straight here. Does he walk past the house all day long?
There’s a flicker where Jason glances away from Frank, giving me the merest of nods and then focusing back on the other man. He holds out an arm as if about offer a hug. ‘C’mon. Let’s go look for your lad together.’
It’s like watching a charmer coax a snake from a box. Whether it’s what Jason’s said, or the way he’s said it, Frank’s fists unclench.
He turns towards away from the house and starts to walk away slowly. ‘Yeah, all right. Let’s do that.’
Chapter Twenty
As soon as we’re back inside, Dan locks the door. He asks Olivia if she’s okay and, after a mumbled ‘yeah’, he disappears up the stairs without saying a word to me.
Olivia slumps against the mirror but doesn’t resist when I put an arm around her and guide her into the living room. I leave her on the sofa, saying I’ll put the kettle on because that is, obviously, the solution to all of life’s problems.
When I return with two cups of tea, Olivia hasn’t moved. Her legs are curled under herself, her head resting on the back of the sofa. She’s staring aimlessly towards the corner of the room. The fact her phone isn’t in her hand is the biggest indication that she’s not happy. There are times where it might as well be surgically grafted to her.
‘Anything I can do, love?’ I ask.
She shakes her head.
I sit on the same sofa as Olivia and turn the television on, flicking through the channels until I find the repeat of a wildlife documentary. The volume is on low and there’s a herd of elephants sweeping across a barren landscape. I glance to Olivia and she’s twisted slightly to focus on the screen.
It’s as if we’ve gone back in time. When Olivia was younger, she’d come down the stairs in the morning and sit watching television in her pyjamas. Our strict food-at-the-table rule soon went out the window as we let her eat cereal on the sofa. In the evenings, we’d sometimes watch cookery shows together and wildlife documentaries. Then she found mobile phones and, probably worst of all, boys.
She changed – and so did I. No longer did she eat cereal on the sofa because she didn’t want breakfast. Watching a TV show when it was actually scheduled was so last century when she could stream her own clips off YouTube, or wherever.
It’s a long time with neither of us speaking – but we don’t need to. This is enough for me.
The peace is eventually broken by Dan bounding down the stairs and poking his head into the living room. He’s confused as he glances between us – but I can’t blame him for that. This is the longest Olivia and I have spent in the same room together in a fair while. Certainly, it’s the longest without arguing.
‘Everything okay?’ he asks.
‘We’re fine,’ I reply.
‘I’m meeting my personal trainer. We’re going for a 10k and then I’m heading into school. It’s parents’ evening tonight, so I’ll be late.’
‘Thank you for telling me.’
We can be forcibly polite when we want.
He hovers for a moment but then heads past with his backpack and briefcase. The door goes and then it’s quiet, except for David Attenborough’s soothing commentary.
‘How’s the Facebook page going?’ I ask.
Olivia shifts position, putting her feet on the floor and then angling herself in the opposite direction. ‘Okay.’
That’s hardly a ringing endorsement, so I don’t follow up, instead sitting quietly and enjoying the moment with my daughter.
It’s a few minutes later when Olivia breaks the silence. ‘Do you think he’s shagging her?’
She twists to look at me and, though I can feel her gaze, I can’t match it. Instinct tells me to scold her for her language but she’s eighteen, not eight.
As for the question… what is there to say? Disposition makes me think my husband probably is. I saw the way he looked at Alice and there was definitely something there that’s more than a trainer-client relationship. My head says no – what would Alice see in someone who’s more than twenty years older than her? My heart, the part of me that once cared, hopes he isn’t.
I can’t say any of that, of course, so I settle for replying that I don’t know.
‘Is that why you’re separating?’ Olivia asks.
‘No,’ I say. ‘We’ve been together a long time but we’ve grown apart. Some things don’t last forever.’
Olivia takes a breath and I know what she’s going to ask next. She isn’t stupid. ‘Did you stay together for me?’
‘I’m not sure this is really the thing to talk about, Liv.’
She reaches across and touches my knee, making me turn to her. ‘You can’t expect me to be an adult one minute and then treat me like a kid the next.’
My daughter speaks so calmly, so reasonably, that it melts me. Despite our problems and disagreements, those fights and days we’d avoid each other, it’s a moment like this that makes me believe we’ll be all right in the end. I love her so much.
‘True,’ I reply, slowly. It takes me a second to find the words, and then: ‘Honestly? We probably should have broken up ten years ago. Maybe longer.’
‘Why?’
I don’t know if this is an inappropriate subject but there’s no going back now.
‘I suppose we were never that well matched. I’d come off the back of a few things when I was a teenager and he was a slightly older man. It was only a few years but it’s enough at that age.’
I’ve somehow missed this fact in all the arguments with Olivia over Tyler. There’s a similar age gap with them as there is between Dan and I.