He saw the excitement in her eyes. “Why, thank you.” He took the box. “Don’t we usually do this on Christmas Day?”
“How about you open mine tonight and I’ll open yours tomorrow?”
Clearly, she didn’t want to wait and clearly, she wanted to do this with just the two of them. He said, “Okay. You got me curious.” He pulled off the paper. Inside the box was an engraved silver belt buckle festooned with turquoise. The piece had taken lots of hours to make and lots of attention to detail. “Let me get a little light on this.” He turned on the overhead fixture. “This is absolutely gorgeous.”
“See the wolf in the middle?”
“Yes, I do. That’s me. Benjamin the wolf . . . the lone wolf. Man, you really are a pro. This is incredibly well done.”
She smiled shyly.
“The engraving is beautiful. You’ve done the eagle feathers and these wavy lines are the water, right?”
She nodded.
“So, what are these bolts—lightning, thunder, or rattlesnakes?”
“Lightning. A million volts of electricity. That’s you. All energy.”
“And most of it entropy,” Ben said. “It is by far the most beautiful present that someone has ever given me.” He kissed her cheek. “Thank you very much.”
“Will you wear it?”
“Of course I’ll wear it, but only on special occasions.”
Lilly brought out another box. “This is for Ro.”
“For Ro? Why didn’t you give it to her when you saw her?”
“I’d rather you give it to her.” She looked down. “It’s a ring.”
“That’s so nice of you, Lilly. I’m sure she’ll love it.”
“She’s a keeper, Ben. Ro is.”
“You think so?”
Lilly nodded. “A real keeper.” Then her eyes watered.
For as long as he remembered, Lilly had had a crush on him. Ben had always thought it silly. Seeing her ache at this moment put it in a different perspective. There was no age limit on pain. Lilly hid her face behind her hands. “I gotta go.”
“C’mere, honey.” Ben took her in his arms as she wept. “It’s okay, sweetie. You’ll be okay.”
“I’m so infantile.”
“Not at all.” He pulled her off his chest and held her shoulders. “Don’t you worry, hon. I guarantee you that someday your prince will come.”
“I don’t think so, Ben.”
“You’ve got to trust me on this one, Lilly. And whoever it is will be a very lucky guy.”
She wiped her eyes and quickly changed the subject. “I hope you like it . . . the buckle. I thought about making a cuff but you’re not the cuff type.”
“No, I’m not a cuff man at all.” He smiled at her. “I will cherish the buckle forever, Lilly. Again, thank you. I owe you one, girl.”
She sighed. “We’ll miss you in school. It was nice having a senior in our corner.”
“You still have Ro,” Ben said.
“She’s Griffen’s senior, not our senior.”
“I’ll be back every weekend. If anyone gives you a hard time, just let me know. I have a gun and I know how to use it.”
She smiled again. “Anyway . . . Merry Christmas.”
“Thank you and I hope you like my present a fraction as much as I like yours. Do you need me to turn on some lights so you don’t trip over the furniture?”
“Not necessary. Indians are good trackers. Besides, I think I know this house pretty well.”
“Yeah, I guess you do.”
“Good night.” She faded into the darkness. He closed the door to his room and shut down his computer. He turned off the lights and then slid into bed.
He had closed the window but had forgotten to pull the drapes. He was glad for the oversight. Nature was putting on quite a show: flakes dancing in the outdoor lights.
A gentle snow. A good omen.
The headstone was marble and simple. The inscription even more:
ellen vicksburg
beloved daughter and cherished sister
Two dates signifying her truncated life. Ro hadn’t wanted to cry in front of Ben’s family. It was like co-opting their pain, which was something she hated when it was done to her. Maybe it was the bleak weather or maybe it was just the time of year, but she felt a lone tear escaping and spilling over her lower lashes. She stood a few paces behind the family to give them privacy. And just like in her family, it seemed as if Ben’s father took it the hardest. It was terrible to see a grown man weep.
The family held hands and said a prayer. Then Ben’s mother knelt down and brushed snow off the headstone and Haley placed a pink rose on the grave. And that was that. Haley and her parents walked toward the car, but Vicks was walking toward her.
“You okay?” Ro grimaced. “Of course you’re not okay, but I’m at a loss for words. I’m usually on the other side.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not ready to go. I can feel it.”
“I need a few more minutes. Do you mind waiting for me?”
“I’ll meet you at my car. Not too long, Vicks. It’s cold.”
Colder for Ellen, Ben thought. “See you in a few minutes.”
When he got to the grave, he sat down on a hard pile of snow that was quickly turning to ice. The sky was a pale blue with white streaks of clouds. The temperature was dropping.
“Well, here I am again.” A pause. “Been an interesting year, El. I’m basically done with high school and I guess it’s time to move on . . . move away.
“You know how hard that is for me. I’m not good at change. But I’m trying. I’m taking almost a full load at UNM next semester. I’ve also got an internship at Circuitchip. I think the hardest part is going to be living with Grandma and Grandpa. They’re great folks, but you know them. They have a different concept of privacy.”
Ben laughed softly.
“They’ll probably drive me nuts. I was never as patient as you were . . . but I am getting better. You wouldn’t believe how much more tolerant I’ve become. I’ve taken your lead, El.
“I know you’re out there somewhere watching me, so you know about Ro. You like everyone, so I’m sure you’d like her, but she’s not exactly your type . . . she’s not my type, for that matter . . . not that I know what my type is. I think you’d approve, though. It’s weird having a girlfriend . . . if that’s what it is. I guess that’s what it is. I just wish you were here to give me some guidance. To give Haley guidance also . . . sister to sister. I know she misses you.
“I hear you talking in my brain, but it’s always what I think you’re gonna say . . . which may be completely off base. When we used to talk, if there was complaining to be done, it was usually me to you. But I try hard not to complain too much anymore. I try to remember my blessings.
“I also try really, really hard to remember you. Sometimes I have to look at pictures. Sometimes it’s hard to do that. But like I’ve said before, I promise to actively try to remember you.”
He looked down then at the headstone.
“I haven’t forgotten about my other promise either. I think this year will be a good one for that. I just feel it, Ellen. I’m coming closer. And now that Shanks is on board, I feel it’s gonna happen. Maybe I’m being overly optimistic, but sometimes freaky feelings turn out to be true.