She wrote: Tell me about the accident.
June was smoldering. She couldn’t figure out why Lilly wouldn’t let it go. It was what made her a fine math mind. Ben took a bite of an apple. “I was driving Ro’s Explorer and plowed into a chain link fence.” All of that was true. “The windshield shattered and pieces flew all over the place.” True too. “Your throat got cut.” That was true, although it had nothing to do with the car. “You almost died. If Ro hadn’t been there, you would have died. She saved you. Do you forgive me?”
Her eyes were boring into his. I forgive you. But I don’t believe you.
Ben didn’t say anything and neither did June. She took the tablet away. “You need to rest.”
Lilly didn’t argue, but they knew she was angry. When Ben talked, she wouldn’t respond with any kind of gesture or written word. Eventually, she fell back asleep and so did June. Neither one woke when George came in. Ben got up and left.
Day Five
Haley wanted to hang out with her best friend without her brother horning in. Ben relinquished his vigil, spending the day with Ro at his grandparents’ house, filling out an excessive amount of college forms. After a lot of deliberation, Ro had decided on the University of Pennsylvania.
It was the first time he’d been alone with her since that day. He owed her for saving Lilly’s life, for allowing him to catch a monster, and he owed her big-time because she had dealt with everyone—all the phone calls and questions, the media—TV, radio, and newspaper interviews. She allowed Ben to remain in the background. She allowed him to heal.
She said, “Do you think if I wrote up what happened at Los Alamos Brown would reconsider?”
“Ro, after what happened at Los Alamos, you could get in anywhere. You caught a serial killer.”
“We caught a serial killer.”
“You can take all the credit. I certainly don’t give a shit.”
“The way I figure it is that if the school didn’t want me for who I am before this happened, then screw it!”
“Brown didn’t reject you. You’re on the waiting list. If you want to go, let them know what happened. At the very least, send them one of the million articles and let them see what you’re made of.”
She sat back and blew out air. “How’s Lilly?”
“Getting better.” Ben regarded her. “Did you know about this collusion behind my back?”
“Of course. Lilly told me. I thought it was a great idea, although in the back of my mind I thought you’d never go. Now, of course, you have to go.”
Of course, she was right.
Suck it up, Ben.
He was filling out forms for a roommate. It creeped him out—someone sleeping where he’d also be sleeping. He’d never gone to sleep-away camp for precisely that reason.
“You could have told me.”
“Right.” Ro looked at him. “You know, maybe you’ll actually like it.”
“Maybe.” And that was as much of a concession as he was going to give her. “Will you text me from time to time?”
“I’ll text you every day . . . until I get a boyfriend. Then it might be every other day.”
“Ha ha.” Suck it up, Ben. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll be back for holidays. Griff decided to spend another year here, so my fam is staying on.”
“How’s he doing?”
“Feeling guilty like the rest of us. But by staying here, he and Haley figure they can be there for Lilly.”
“I should be here for her.”
“She needs her peers, not someone overprotecting her like her parents. Do her a favor and learn the ropes at Caltech so when she gets there, she’ll have a tour guide.”
“That’s what George said.”
“He’s right. Go try to salvage whatever teen years you have left, Vicks. That’s what I’m doing.”
“You’re more resilient than I am.”
“Bullshit. What’s your ideal roommate?”
“Besides you?”
“Good answer.” Ro got up and peeked over his shoulder. His roommate requests were nonexistent. “Should I fill it out for you?”
“Sure. That way I’ll have absolutely nothing to do with this fiasco and a lot of people to blame.”
“Or thank.”
Ben looked at her. “Thank you. For everything.”
“You’re welcome.” She grabbed the application out of his hands and began to fill it out. “You want a mixed floor?”
“No. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t even want a mixed dorm.”
“C’mon, Vicks, have some fun. Besides, I’m sure the girls are just like the boys there.”
“No mixed floor.” He looked over her shoulder and tried to see what she was writing, but she covered the sheet.
“I want it to be a surprise.”
“No thanks. I’ve had enough of those.”
“Yeah, but not good ones. This’ll be a good one. I know what’s good for you. Now sit down or pace or go away.”
Ben smiled. “Seriously, I will miss you.”
“I know. I’ll miss you too.” Ro looked at him with dewy eyes. “It’s probably better this way. I can’t deal with any more intensity. I want to go back to my former superficial life.”
“Don’t you know you can’t go home again?”
“Yeah, but I can go to college. And I don’t even have to reinvent myself. I’m a legitimate hero. I now deserve all the adulation that comes with it. I am invincible.” When Ben laughed, she pouted. “I’m serious.”
“I know. That’s what’s so funny, but also charming. It must be wonderful to know who you are.”
“You’ll get attention too, you know. While I know you’ll never relish it like I do, don’t brush people off. Try . . . talking about it even if it’s just a sentence or two. It’ll make the people you’re talking to feel important and it’s a lot cheaper than psychotherapy.”
He was about to protest, but what would be the point? “I’ll try.”
“As my dad always says: ‘Good enough for government work.’ And it’s good enough for me.”
Day Six
When Ben arrived at the hospital in the afternoon, Haley had been with Lilly all morning. This time she’d brought Griffen. The three of them were watching TV. Haley and Griff left when Ben came in and Lilly seemed to be in a good mood. She was down to one IV drip and just a nasal tube. Haley said she had actually managed to swallow some juice. She coughed, of course, but she kept at least half of it down.
The graph was on the upswing.
Lilly’s largesse did not extend to Ben. When she saw him, she scribbled on her tablet. What really happened, Ben?
Of course June was there. Ben showed her the message and again she took the tablet away. “You were up all morning with your friends. You need to rest.”
This time Lilly wasn’t about to relent. She kept snapping her fingers until her mother gave in and gave her the tablet. I want to talk to Ben alone.
“No,” June said. “You need something, you talk to me.”
You’re not telling me the truth.
“I’m telling you what you need to know.” June looked at Ben. “You should leave now.”
He got up but Lilly slammed her free hand onto the bed railing. Then she grabbed her mother’s arm. June gave her the tablet. She wrote: Stop treating me like a child.
“Should I go?” Ben asked June.