Her face was still angry. She muttered, “I’m sorry.”
“No apology necessary. I am a liar. You are correct in your assessment.”
She pulled out his desk chair and sat down, her steaming black eyes looking somewhere beyond his face. “I’m not offended by you guys saying that Asians have small racks. I mean, maybe a little, but it’s true. In general, Asians do have small racks. But why do you have to talk like he does?”
“Who’s he? JD?”
“Yes, of course, JD. Why do you bring yourself down to his idiotic level? Why do you even hang around him? You never did before.”
“Things change.”
“Well, you shouldn’t change.”
“Lilly, I lost three years of my life that I’m never getting back. JD and I have known each other forever. We’re not tight like before, but it’s nice to have a friend.”
“But you’re not like that.”
“Or maybe I am like that and you never noticed.”
There were tears in her eyes. “I’ve got to go.”
“I’ll walk you home. It’s cold and windy. I wouldn’t want you to blow away.”
“I will not blow away and I have a warm jacket, thank you very much. And I’d rather be alone.”
She stormed out. Ben got up, grabbed his parka, and waited until she gathered up her material and stuffed everything into her backpack. He took the heavy load from her hands. “It’s good for me to get some air.”
She didn’t answer, just marched out of the house. Ben locked the door and caught up with her a half block away. “Are you hungry?” He dug his hands into his pockets. “We can grab a bite somewhere.”
“Ben, I’m fine.” Her walk was brisk considering the g-forces on their faces. The wind was blowing her black mane straight back—like she was a filly on a racetrack. “Just do whatever you want to do.”
“What I want is to feed you and walk you home. That’s what big brothers do.”
“You’re not my brother.”
He chuckled. He sounded like a sad clown. “You know what, Lilly? Very soon you’ll be all grown up and be this gorgeous woman—”
“Oh please, don’t.”
“Let me finish,” Ben said. “You’ll be this gorgeous girl with a ton of guys drooling after you. And at some point, you’ll discover the truth . . . that I’m not the guy you think I am. And you’ll be sorely disillusioned. And that’ll be upsetting to you. But I have a feeling it’ll be worse for me.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She broke away and walked six paces in front of him.
I think you do, he said to himself.
He was sad at his own thoughts. It was nice to be adored.
Chapter 2
The kid was the brother of the first one. He hadn’t exactly grown up, but he was taller. Still thin with intense eyes and girlie curls, but now the face was on a budding man’s body. He had wiry arms and a keen determination. All those years that he’d spent going in and out of the police department—it had to be for more than inquiries. It made him wonder just what the kid knew.
Was the kid onto something? Probably.
Was he onto him? Possibly.
The thought terrified and thrilled him at the same time.
The teen had a routine but was not exactly predictable. He went to UNM; he worked at Circuitchip. But he still went to high school. Sometimes he was with the girl, sometimes the other guy was with the girl. Most of the time he was alone.
The kid hadn’t reacted suspiciously that night.
Was it a ruse? Probably not.
Was his identity still secure? Most likely.
Maybe it had been a coincidence, bumping into him in the dead of night after he had come back from River Remez. He hadn’t been sure if he had wanted to fill the grave with a new one or not, but it had felt good having dug the spot just in case. Because if he was going to do another one, with the kid hunting around, it would have to be well planned, which, of course, made the whole thing even more exciting.
Sometimes the planning was even better than the actual event, with the anticipation turning him on until he had to do something about it. He thought about the four girls constantly. Sometimes it was Julia, sometimes it was Jamey, sometimes it was Katie. But mostly it was Ellen. Being the first in his “official” cycle, she owned a special place in his heart.
Still, there were others to distract him.
The girl behind the desk at the hotel—he had had his eye on her from the beginning. He knew her as the cocktail waitress named Gretchen. She was gorgeous, young, nubile, lithe, everything a beautiful girl should be. All the girls he hunted had been young and nubile—those he had taken, those he had not taken, those he had taken but had released for God only knew what reason. All of them had drawn him into an altered state of consciousness. Gretchen was his current fantasy and she was made doubly delicious because she was also part of the kid’s life.
Except he knew her name wasn’t Gretchen.
It was Dorothy.
Which was even better.
I’ll get you, my pretty . . .
And your little dog too.
By eight in the evening, Ben was done for the day. He had narrowed down his search to fifty men that could be candidates for “the one.” The investigation had come to the point where even he knew he was out of his league. But since he often felt more machine than human, he plugged along, hoping to figure out something before the arrival of the summer solstice. If he couldn’t succeed at doing that, maybe at least he could find a way to give the information to Shanks without landing Ro in jail.
He tried to slink out of his room and out of the house with his backpack, but his mother was right there. She had several frequent expressions and this one was angry-eyes mom. Her curly hair framed her face like a halo. She resembled some kind of avenging angel.
“You weren’t even going to say good-bye?” Her arms were crossed over her chest.
“I’m not leaving for Albuquerque until tomorrow. I’m just going out.”
“Where?”
“Just hanging.”
“With your backpack?”
He put his arm around her. “Why are you giving me the third degree? You never did before.”
She pulled away. “Just because I leave you alone doesn’t mean I don’t care. Once in a blue moon, it would be nice to see you.”
“So you’re seeing me right now.”
“Ben, stop it! You’ve been holed up in your room for the last ten hours. You didn’t even make it to dinner. I know what you’re doing and I know I can’t stop you. I know you made this insane promise to Ellen, but what about your family that’s still alive? Don’t you think it’s a little rude?”
“Point well taken.” He gave her a brief smile but it wasn’t returned. “What would you like from me?”
“A simple salutation would be nice. Like ‘Hi, Mom, how are you?’ Surely, that won’t tax you too much.”
“No need for the sarcasm.”
Her eyes watered. “When you were with Ro, she talked to us, so you talked to us. I got a little spoiled.”
She was hurting, but that was nothing new. Ben sighed. “You know how I deal with crap, Mom. I retreat.”