"You'll remember this conversation when you're seventy-three and break your hip in the shower with that one right there, girl." She points to me.
I lean over and whisper to Lily. "That's right. Someday when we're old and grey I'll break your hip while taking you from behind in the shower."
Lily punches me hard in the arm.
"What?" I ask innocently. "We should probably practice so you don't slip and fall. Practice makes perfect."
Lily's phone in her purse buzzes and she takes it out, giving me the stink eye the entire time. "Hello?" She listens silently, her brow furrowed. "Oh my God. Is she okay?"
Shit. It's something with Chloe. My heart immediately races.
"She did what?" she asks. "Yes. I'll be right there."
"What happened?" I ask as soon as she hangs up the phone.
"I don't understand it. Chloe knows better than that. I don't know what in the world would have gotten into her."
"What happened?" Opal asks.
"I have to go to the school. Chloe got into a fight. She punched a boy in her class."
Oh, shit.
"So… I may have had something to do with it," I confess.
"What?" Lily shrieks, then drops her voice an octave as she glares at me. I think her nostrils are flaring. "What. Did. You. Do. Exactly?"
"She hit a boy?" Opal asks. "Did he deserve it?"
"Yes," I blurt out. "Is his name Alex? If it's Alex, he deserved it."
"What are you talking about? Chloe knows better than to punch anyone! This is insane. Opal, I have to go down to the school, but I'll be back later. And you." She whips around to face me. "You are going to tell me how you know about this boy."
"The two of you can get right on out of here because I want to watch Maury Povich before the surgery and it's going to come on in less than five minutes," Opal orders. "And if Chloe punched a boy who deserved it, then good for her."
I have to give Lily credit for holding her temper longer than I'd have thought she would have. She waits until we're in the parking lot before she whirls around, her hand on my chest. "Start talking. What did you have to do with my seven-year-old daughter punching another kid and getting herself suspended right before the end of school?"
"She's suspended from first grade?? That's ridiculous." What is wrong with that fucking school? "I taught her some basic self-defense moves, okay? How to throw a good punch and –"
Lily interrupts. "You taught Chloe how to throw a punch? Why in the world? When, for goodness sake?"
"Hold up now, I'm not the one you should be mad at here. Neither is Chloe. If it's that little shithead Alex that she got into it with, she didn't do anything wrong. I told her the next time he pushed her, that she should push him back. Or hit him. Basic self-defense."
Lily's face is white. "Have you lost your freaking mind? Are you actually insane? You can't tell a seven-year-old to punch another kid!"
"He was pushing her around. Alex and Hannah have been bullying her, pushing her and tripping her and stuff. They kicked dirt in her face!"
Lily stops, looking at me with her brow furrowed. "She told you that?"
"Yeah, when we were fishing."
"Why wouldn't she tell me?"
I exhale heavily. "She didn't want to worry you."
"You should have told me! Why on Earth wouldn't you tell me?"
Shit. "I thought I was helping!"
"Helping parent my child by teaching her how to punch someone to solve her problems?" Lily is furious. She reaches for her car door, yanking it open. "I don't need that kind of help."
She yanks the car door closed and then she's gone.
What was I thinking? That I could hang out with Chloe, bond a little bit, and that somehow I'd do the right thing when it came to a situation like this? Who in the world am I kidding? I have less than zero parenting skills. When I was a kid, I gave enough other kids black eyes that even the biggest bullies knew not to mess with my brothers or me anymore. Apparently, that's not how you do it.
I'm left standing there with a sinking feeling in my gut, the sense that everything is crashing down. I fucked up – and I didn't even realize I was fucking up. I thought I was doing the right thing, which means I have no fucking clue what I'm doing.
When it comes to kids or relationships.
40
Lily
I'm so angry I think I might actually explode. The entire drive to the elementary school, I'm thinking about how mad I am at Killian. How dare he teach Chloe to punch someone? He taught my kid to use her fists on another kid.
I'm furious with him.
But the anger at him quickly gives way to something else – guilt. I'm angry with myself, because how did I not know Chloe was being bullied at school? She should have been able to come to me, but instead, she didn't want to worry me.
How terrible is that? It feels like I'm the one who's been hit right in the gut. She told Killian instead of me.