He nodded. “Yeah. No one else does though. I had a shit father, too, and Kite helped me with that a while ago when I was recuperating from… well, let’s just say I took a beating. That’s when Kite told me what happened in Ireland.” He touched the back of my hand. “He never planned to go after his dad, Savvy. They’ve had no contact for years. But when Kite was in the car accident with Haven and Luke, he was all over the media. I guess his dad seeing all the focus on Kite… it stirred the shit back up.
“His father contacted him and I don’t know what was said, but it had to be bad because Kite’s hands were beat pretty bad for weeks. That’s when he decided to open Compass with Brett. Financially hurt him.”
Logan sighed. “His dad fucked him up, Savvy. He drilled into him day after day that he killed Emmitt, destroyed the family. I don’t know all of it, and that’s for him to tell you, but a twelve-year-old kid living that shit… it stays with you.
“Everyone said Emmitt was going to be the famous football star of Ireland. Him dying was his father’s dream shattering. Ironic that the other son became the famous one.” He squeezed my hand and stood. “Get some sleep. The police will want to talk to you tomorrow. I’ll let you know as soon as we find Kite.”
Tears filled the rims of my eyes and one spilled over to slide down my cheek and drip onto the white sheet. “How am I supposed to lie here not knowing if he’s okay?”
“Because you love him and that’s what he’d want you to do, Savvy.”
I woke to the mattress dipping and then the weight of an arm sliding across my abdomen. My eyes flew open, and for a second I had no idea where I was or who was holding me until his whispered voice vibrated next to my ear.
“Shh. It’s just me.”
Killian. A wave of relief washed over me, and it was as if I’d been holding my breath for hours and could suddenly breathe.
“Where did you go?” I glided my hand down his arm and stopped when my fingers touched the material wrapped around his knuckles. “Killian?”
I tried to sit up, but he gently squeezed my side. “Stay. Let me hold you, Savvy. Please. I need to hold you for a minute.”
There was so much pain in his graveled voice that it was as if pieces of my heart chipped with each word. “Okay.”
Lying on my back, Killian’s body curled into mine, I listened to his breathing slow until he fell asleep.
I watched him, watched as the crease between his eyes and the tightness of his plush lips eased.
Vulnerable. That was what Killian was right now. I’d never imagined him this way, but I realized it was always there, just hidden behind everything else.
A kid trying to crawl out from under the guilt his father placed on him. And he did. He was an incredible man who fought against the pain and the anger and became this successful, protective, and loving man. That never died with Emmitt and became saturated by his father’s cruelty. It was just harder for him to show. To trust his heart to someone.
But he’d given it to me, and I’d protect it. He needed me to protect it.
When the sun peaked over the horizon and an orange glow lit the room, Killian stirred, and his arm tightened around me. I winced from the bruises, and he immediately loosened his hold and opened his eyes.
“Fuck, sorry.”
“Kiss me, Killian,” I whispered.
He leaned over, careful not to put any weight on me, and his mouth found mine. It would always find mine. There was only one, and Killian was it.
His kiss was slow and gentle as to not hurt my split lip. But it was just as warm and passionate as always, making my belly flutter. He lifted and the crease between his eyes deepened.
“Savvy.”
Right there. It was in his voice. The way he said my name… hesitant and without that lilt at the end. My heart skipped a beat and my stomach dropped.
“It’s going to be okay,” I said.
He stiffened.
“It’s going to be okay,” I repeated.
“I’m the one who should be telling you that.” He shifted onto his back. “But it’s not, Savvy.” I sat up, gritting my teeth at the pain and moved so I was on my side facing him. He scowled at me. “Baby, don’t move. Fuck, the doc said you had… that he broke your ribs.”
He’d spoken to the doctor? When had he done that? “It’s going to be okay,” I repeated, hoping he’d listen if I said it enough times. That he’d believe me.
“He broke your ribs, Savvy.” He raised his voice, but not enough to alert the nurses.
“It was his hired hand. And it’s only one rib.” I laid my hand on his chest. “Killian. Where did you go? Logan said you weren’t at the warehouse.”
“I wasn’t.”
“But your hands.”
“I had to fight, Savvy.” He said the words like they were poison, and I realized why when he continued. “Really fight. The bag wasn’t enough.” His jaw clenched. “I went to an underground fight.”
Oh, God. Logan said Killian swore to never fight another person again. But he broke that promise last night. “Why?”
“It was either that or kill my father.”
I ran my hand lightly over the bandage on his knuckles. He said his father. But his uncle had been his real father. Did he know? Would it matter?
“He told me… he said he wasn’t your real father.” His body stiffened. “Your uncle was.” He didn’t move. “Killian? Did you know?”
It was a while before he answered. “I didn’t know for sure, but I suspected. He hated me even before Emmitt died. Before I got into trouble. But he’d never admit I wasn’t his. His reputation was everything to him and his wife cheating on him wouldn’t have looked good.” He paused. “I don’t know if my uncle knew or not and it wouldn’t have mattered to him. He called me his son and… he was like a father to me.”
“I’m glad you had him, Killian.” I ran my hand up his chest to rest over his beating heart.
He didn’t say anything more for a while and I felt it… the coldness descending. His body tense. The silence. How his arm no longer held me. He was distancing himself.
“It’s going to be okay.”
His jaw tightened and then he threw his legs over the side of the bed and sat on the edge, his hand running overtop his head. “Savvy….”
My pulse raced with panic because I knew what he was going to do. I shook my head, tears pooling. “No. Killian. No.”