Her eyes were twin mirrors of shock and she went completely still in his hands.
“I’m in so deep that there’s no way I’ll ever dig my way out, and baby, I’m right where I want to be. So far inside you that you’ll never be free of me. I want to make love to you with a desperation that’s eating me alive and consumes my every waking thought. I want to take you bare, with nothing between us so we’re skin to skin, as close as two people can ever be. I want to give you a baby. My baby. So you’ll be bound to me forever with no way of ever escaping me. I love the image of you round and swollen with my child, of me loving you forever. Of building a family with you. I want to keep you pregnant all the time so you’ll never even think about leaving me because you’ll be wrapped up in me and all the babies I’m going to give you.
“I’ll take such good care of you, honey,” he said, caressing his hands over her cheeks, his words and expression pleading with her for understanding and acceptance. “No one will ever love you more than I will. There is nothing I won’t do to keep you happy and safe every single day for the rest of our lives. I’ll give you the moon if you ask me for it. I’ll give you anything you ever wanted or dreamed of except . . .”
He dropped one hand from her face and dragged it raggedly through his hair, shame crowding his thoughts, but he’d long since lost any sense of shame or pride when it came to her.
“I won’t let you go,” he said in a voice clogged with emotion and worry as he waited for her to condemn him with a look. For fear or disappointment to fill her beautiful blue eyes and baby-fine features. He steeled himself for rejection, even as he barged forward, determined for her to have it all. Every single truth as he laid his soul bare.
“I can’t give you that, baby. That’s the only thing I’ll ever deny you, because God help me, I’m a selfish bastard and it would kill me to ever let you walk away.”
He sucked in a deep breath and then let her see exactly the kind of man he was. Selfish. Determined. And so fucking in love that she filled every empty void he’d hidden, refused to acknowledge and had accepted as a permanent, aching part of him.
“If I have to, I’ll tie you to my bed every night so I never have to worry about you leaving me. I’ll do anything to keep you. No matter what it takes or what lengths I have to go to. I’ll give you the world, your heart’s desire, and I just pray that your heart’s desire is never to be free of me because that’s the one thing I can’t give you. Your freedom. I can’t, Jenna. I wish I were a better man, but fuck it. If being a better man means just letting you walk away from me then I don’t want to be that man.
“God, I’m such a bastard to even think that way, much less say it out loud, when you’ve been a prisoner for damn near your entire life, and yet here I am locking you up again and refusing to free you. But honey, it will be the sweetest of prisons. I swear on my life that I’ll spoil you ridiculously and pamper and take care of you and love you so damn much that you never look at it for what it is—a prison—but instead you’ll only see your forever home. And a man who loves you more than life.”
He grew more serious, his eyes boring intently into hers. He knew this was everything. That nothing would ever be more important than this moment. No job, no mission would ever be this necessary for his survival.
“I’ll protect you with my life. You and our children. I’ll never let evil touch you again. I’ll bust my ass every damn day we have together to give you everything you could possibly ever wish for, and the only reward I’ll ever want or need is your smile and your happiness. For those things, I’ll kill myself working to make it happen. Everything I ever do from this day forward is for you, baby. Only. Always. For you.”
She looked overcome with emotion, hot tears running like rivers down her face, colliding with his hand, falling too fast for him to wipe them away.
“I’m sorry,” she began, her voice breaking. “I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t know . . . I didn’t realize . . .”
Oh hell no. She wasn’t apologizing. He silenced her with a kiss, molding his lips hotly to hers, licking at the seam of her mouth until she opened for him. He delved inward, stroking, tasting, savoring and absorbing the very essence of her. He pulled her close, so there was no space between them, his palm on the back of her head, holding her right where he wanted while he plundered her mouth in an endless kiss.
Nothing had ever felt—tasted—so sweet. Nothing had ever been so . . . perfect . . . as the feel of her in his arms, her small, soft body melting into his. He wanted a lifetime of these moments, holding her as tightly as possible and savoring their closeness. God, please give me this. He knew he’d sworn never to ask for more than for her to be safe, unharmed, and for him to get her back, but he had to make one last plea. For her to be his forever.
“Don’t ever be sorry,” he said fiercely, as he finally pulled away. He stroked her cheeks with his thumbs, soaking in every aspect of her delicate features and a beauty that shone so brightly from the inside out that it was blinding. “Don’t ever look back. Never again. Only forward. Give me a chance to make you happy and to make you love me. I’ll wait forever if that’s what it takes, because in the end, hearing those words from you, no matter how long it takes, in that moment, it will all have been worth it.”
“I already do love you,” she choked out around the emotion clogging her throat. “I’ve loved you from the first moment I touched you. Show me your love, Isaac. Please. Show me how it’s supposed to be. You’ve given me the words. Now give me the act itself.”
EIGHTEEN
ISAAC froze, his hands that were still framing her beautiful face trembled as he soaked in the most beautiful words he’d ever heard in his life. He couldn’t breathe. The knot in his throat was so huge, it was choking him and cutting off his ability to suck in air. His heart raced, pounding the inside of his chest like a jackhammer and his eyelids burned like they were on fire.
“Are you sure, my sweet angel?” he finally managed to rasp out, the words stuttering over numb lips. “Because just knowing you love me is enough. It will always be enough. If you aren’t ready for me to make love to you then we’ll wait. I’ll wait. For as long as it takes until you’re sure that this—that I’m—what you want. We have forever.”