ISAAC glanced at Jenna, who sat huddled amid the group of grim-faced DSS operatives in the back of the cargo van, her face pale, eyes wide and swamped with a myriad of emotions, all of which made him seethe. Guilt, fear and sadness. He wanted to pull her into his arms and never let go, but he couldn’t until he knew why she took off like she did and what the hell was going on in her mind before her flight—and now, he had to keep it under control. Which was pretty hard to do when he was on the verge of losing his fucking mind.
Silence lay heavy in the interior of the van and avoidance seemed to be the choice of everyone. Except Shadow, who’d apparently become Jenna’s champion. Another thing that he had mixed feelings about. On one hand, he was glad she had Shadow’s protection, but on the other it just pissed Isaac the fuck off. Anything—everything—having to do with Jenna was Isaac’s job and his job only, and his teammate had better not cross the line or they were going to have serious problems.
Shadow turned to look at Jenna. Her gaze was fixed on a distant spot out the windows of the back door of the large cargo area, her mind obviously a million miles away. Most of the men were slouched in various positions, leaning against the side walls of the van, but Jenna had edged toward the back as if trying to separate herself from everyone. Only Isaac hadn’t let her put any distance between him and her. He’d simply shifted in her direction every time she moved away.
“You okay, sweetheart?” Shadow asked in a gentle tone.
Jenna looked up with startled eyes, seemingly shocked that anyone had inquired as to her well-being. Did she think they were all pissed at her? Did she think anything about the way Isaac felt about her had changed? Fuck. As soon as they arrived at yet another of DSS’s hidey-holes, they were going to have one serious come-to-Jesus meeting.
Her eyes watered, becoming shiny and luminous with tears, and Isaac clenched his jaw so tight it was a wonder he didn’t crack his teeth.
“I’m sorry,” she said brokenly, not answering Shadow’s question. “I didn’t mean this to happen. I’m so sorry I keep causing so much trouble. I didn’t mean for you all to do this, to take this kind of risk. I didn’t know what else to do. You’ve all already done so much and I just keep messing up.”
She closed her eyes, turning her face completely away so no one could see her features. Shadow’s expression was so black that it looked like he’d blow up at any moment.
“You’re sorry you’re not still with those bastards who planned to do God only knows what to you?” Shadow bit out. “Jesus Christ, Jenna, do you even realize what could have happened to you? All the ways they could have hurt you and made you suffer? Did you expect us to just walk away and leave you to those bastards? Do you really believe you have so little worth?”
He sent a look of disgust Isaac’s way as if believing Isaac hadn’t convinced her just how much she meant, not only to him, but to Shadow. Isaac didn’t pretend to know exactly what had happened in that moment when Jenna touched Shadow and healed him, but he knew a bond had been formed, just as an unbreakable bond had been formed the instant Jenna had touched him. She’d changed something in both men, had given them both something they’d never had and never knew they needed.
“I just don’t want any of you to get hurt or die because of me,” Jenna said, tears now leaking down her cheeks in damp trails. “I couldn’t bear it.”
“You don’t think we feel the same way about you?” Isaac roared, causing Jenna to jump, her gaze shooting to him, fear sparking in her eyes for a moment. “Goddamn it, Jenna. Don’t be afraid of me. Never be afraid of me. I’ll never hurt you and so help me God, I’ll take apart anyone who ever does.”
Shadow seemed satisfied with Isaac’s response, but he sent Jenna a stern look. It would likely scare most people, but it also held a glint of tenderness that was completely uncharacteristic of the secretive man.
“Promise me you’ll never do something that foolish again,” Shadow demanded, holding her gaze even as his features softened at the sight of her tears. “We can’t protect you if you won’t let us.”
He held up a hand when she started to open her mouth.
“I don’t want to hear another goddamn word about protecting us or about you worrying about us,” he said, staring her down even harder. “The only words I want out of your mouth right now are that you promise to do what I—we’ve—told you, and that’s to let us do our job.”
Jenna bit into her bottom lip and turned her face toward the window again, but not before Isaac—and the others—saw a fresh torrent of tears streaking down her pale cheeks.
Shadow sent Isaac a meaningful look. Hell, every single person in the van, including Brent, who was driving, gave him a stare that said he’d better handle the situation with Jenna and tell her whatever the fuck he had to in order to convince her to stop with her foolish notions of saving them all at the expense of her life. Dane looked like he was about to launch into his own lecture judging by the decidedly unhappy look on his face, but Isaac sent him a look that dared him to push any further. She’d gotten the damn message, or maybe she hadn’t, but she would, because it wasn’t the place of these men to get it through her head that she was the sum and entirety of Isaac’s entire existence. It was his job, god damn it, and if she didn’t get that yet, she’d get it before the night was over.
Isaac swallowed, his lips pressed into a tight line even though it was killing him to wait. But fuck if he was going to air his feelings for Jenna for anyone but her to hear, and fuck if he was going to tear into her in front of the others, make her even more upset and embarrassed than she already was. He merely sent everyone back a stare of his own that made it very clear he was marking his territory and for them to back the hell off.
Seemingly satisfied with the silent smack-down that had just occurred, the others turned their attention away from Isaac and Jenna and the rest of the trip was made in silence.
But Isaac could bear Jenna’s distance no longer. Even if he was going to wait until they were alone to have a long talk with her, he wasn’t about to allow her to think he was pissed at her. He was plenty pissed about a multitude of things, but he wasn’t pissed at her.
He leaned across the distance to where Jenna was huddled as close to the double doors—and as far away from him—as possible, and he slid one arm behind her back and the other beneath her legs, lifting her and hauling her into his lap.
Her wide eyes found his and the way she stared up at him damn near broke his heart. Her gaze was so full of apprehension, as if she expected him to lash out at her. He wrapped both arms around her and crushed her to his chest, holding her so tightly he doubted she could breathe. Fair enough, since it felt as if he hadn’t breathed from the moment he’d awakened to find her gone from his bed.
He buried his lips in her hair, pressing them tightly to the crown of her head, inhaling her sweet scent. He savored the feel of her in his arms, her precious weight finally setting his world to rights after hours of enduring hell.