He couldn’t mean it. He gave in to the kiss too enthusiastically. She ran her hands down his broad back and settled them on the backside of his jeans, pulling him tight against her and shifting to straddle him. His body couldn’t lie: he was hard already. His mouth was hot on her skin, and his hands were urgent as he tore at her clothes. He pushed her backward, and she cried out as he yanked off her panties and plunged into her. With the leaves rustling in the hot breeze, Kate felt like she was living some other girl’s life. This is what it would be like if she’d been born in Belle River, with a normal family, and Lucas was her sweetheart. She would feel joy, she would be able to love someone, tears would wet her cheeks as they made love. But this was a dream, an interlude. She wasn’t from here, she wasn’t like that, and this thing with Lucas was over already.
When they had finished, he rolled off her, and they lay apart, the cooling air taking the heat from their skin. Kate turned her head and gazed at the open sky, where the gap between the broken trestles yawned, mere feet away. The sun had set, but the moon hadn’t risen yet, and stars were just appearing in the heavens. High up in her bower, she could hear the rush of the river and the noise from the highway that ran along the opposite bank. All those people going about their business, unaware that she was lying here with Lucas, both of them spent and panting. This couldn’t be the last time. She wouldn’t allow it.
Kate sat up and crossed her arms, hugging herself against the chill. She reached for her cutoffs, pulled out the baggie, and did another bump for courage. She had to change his mind somehow.
“I thought you said no drugs,” Lucas said.
“That was before.”
“Before what?”
She didn’t reply, but stopped to listen to the water rushing below. As the coke hit her bloodstream, she felt it in her toes, her eyeballs, the ends of her hair. She was at one with this place, with its power and its beauty. She was strong. And she had an idea.
“I want to do the jump,” she said.
Lucas cocked his head like she was crazy. “Are you nuts? It’s wicked cold.”
“It was almost eighty degrees today.”
“I’m talking about water temperature. Ice-out came late this year. The water’s still below freezing. I mean, take a look, there’s still ice along the edges.”
“Don’t be a wuss. Jump with me. We’ll hold hands.”
He sat up and watched as she dressed. She moved more languorously with his eyes on her, certain that she could bend him to her will by showing him something he liked. Men were so visual, after all.
“Where’s the primo spot to jump from—just right here, where the bridge ends?” she asked.
“I’m telling you, you can’t swim in the Belle at this time of year for more than a few minutes without cramping up. Trying to jump now would be epically stupid.”
“Stupidity never stopped me before, and I’m quite sure it never stopped you.”
He made an exasperated noise, then stood up and started pulling his clothes on. Darkness was falling hard. Lucas flicked on the flashlight and finished dressing in its glow.
“Where are you going?” she asked, a quiver of alarm in her voice.
“Home. You want a ride back to the Quad, fine, but then we’re done.”
“But—we just had sex. And you liked it, I know you did.”
“I always like it with you. That doesn’t make us right. Go back to your rich boyfriend. He’s the one for you. You can abuse him and he won’t complain, he’ll pay for your coke. It’s perfect. I don’t know why you can’t see that.”
“Lucas, I didn’t mean to say you were stupid. I’m sorry if it came out wrong. Lucas, please!”
He tried to move past her but she grabbed at his arm. The flashlight flew from his hands, bouncing once and flying off the edge of the bridge. The water was so far below that they heard no splash. Lucas exclaimed in alarm. Kate peeked over the edge and got a sick, excited fluttering in her stomach. In the fading light, the water below looked black instead of silver. She could hear the roar, and see the sparkle of light on water. She saw the force of the current.
“Jesus. Be careful,” he said.
“What if I want to jump?” Kate said, her voice full of sick excitement. The world felt off kilter, and her instincts said to lean into that feeling, to welcome it. If she couldn’t have Lucas, they could both jump, and let the chips fall where they may. Maybe they’d live, maybe they’d die, but they’d be together.
“You’re crazier than I thought,” he said.
“Kate!”
The shout rang out from the path behind them, startling them both. For a terrible instant, Kate lost her balance and tottered, arms helicoptering, much too close to the edge, until Lucas grabbed her. She felt the electricity in his arms as they stepped back from the brink. The two of them were connected, in fear, in excitement, and she loved the sensation. Kate turned toward the voice. Aubrey stood at the foot of the bridge, her tall, pale form lit up against the backdrop of dark trees. Just what Kate needed. Her loser roommate showing up at the critical moment when she and Lucas were about to get somewhere ultimate. Aubrey would ruin it.
“What the hell is she doing here?” Lucas said.
“I’ll get rid of her,” Kate said under her breath.
“He’s breaking up with you, isn’t he?” Aubrey said, coming toward them.
“No, he is not. You don’t have the first fucking clue about it. How did you find us?” Kate demanded.
“Timmy told me.” When Kate looked blank, Aubrey said, “The kid from Shecky’s. I rode my bike all the way from town. I knew you would need me, Kate.”
“I don’t need you. Lucas and I want to be alone, so go away.”
“Your roommate’s right, Kate,” Lucas said. “I said what I came to say. Enough already, I’m out of here.”
“No!” Kate cried. She turned on Aubrey. “Get out of here, you psycho bitch! You’re ruining everything.”
“Kate, he’s just some townie asshole. He doesn’t matter. Don’t you see?”
“He’s the only thing that matters. Get lost. Get out of here!”
“Face it,” Aubrey said cruelly, “he doesn’t want you. But it’s okay. This place is perfect. We can jump, we can stick it to them all. We can end it, just like you and Maggie planned,” Aubrey said.
“Leave Maggie out of this,” Kate said.
“Who’s Maggie?” Lucas said.
Kate motioned to the tattoo on her wrist. “My best friend from high school who died. Remember? I told you about her.”
“The one who OD’d?” Lucas said. “Wait a minute, did she kill herself? Is that why you’re so keen to jump? You want to off yourself, and take me with you? God, I’m sick of all you Carlisle freaks. You’re all crazy.”
“Don’t talk to me like that,” Kate said, turning on Lucas, hysteria building in her voice.
Aubrey’s mention of Maggie had knocked something loose inside her, something terrible and dark, that had been building all night. The people Kate loved always left her. Her mother, Maggie. Lucas was trying to walk out on her, too. She couldn’t let that happen. She would be so alone. She would have nothing. She refused.
Lucas shook his head disgustedly and tried again to walk past Kate. She grabbed his arm with both hands, and held tight.
Her eyes were wild. “Lucas, you’re not leaving. We’re not done. I have more to show you,” she cried.
“You don’t own me, rich girl. Let go.”
Lucas tried to shake her off, but Kate’s grip was superhuman.
“Let go, I said, you crazy bitch.”
He pried her hands loose forcibly, but instead of retreating, she advanced, striking and clawing at him wildly. Lucas shrank back and raised his fists to his face, like a boxer on the ropes.
“Stop it! Stop, you’re out of control.”