When Grams started shaking her booty, Jessie’s light laughter turned uncontrollable. “Oh, all right, you’re a healed woman. Got it. Now please stop doing that.” Jessie held her stomach as her laughs consumed her. She gave into the feeling, enjoying the lightheartedness for a change. She hadn’t been feeling that much lately.
Her personal life for the past few weeks had been hard and confusing, especially last week. Last week had twisted Jessie in ways she couldn’t even fully express, and she couldn’t talk to anyone about what she was going through. Well, no one but Kai, that was. But since Kai was the focal point of her torment, she couldn’t exactly talk to him about her feelings. And talking to him would be fruitless anyway, since they’d both agreed that what Kai was doing was for the best. The worst part was that all of this had been Jessie’s stupid idea in the first place. She’d convinced him, time and time again, that he should give April a chance.
Jessie had cried after April and Kai had left for their second date. She hadn’t wanted to break down, but lying in bed, imagining them together, the tears had come regardless. April had looked more gorgeous than Jessie had ever seen her, and that was saying a lot. And Jessie knew that Kai noticed April’s appeal. What man wouldn’t? It hurt to see the attraction, but really, it was all for the better if he was physically interested in April. Lord knows April was sure interested in Kai. Once again, Jessie had heard all about their date the next morning.
While their first date had been sort of a letdown for April, the second date was not. Over breakfast, April let the entire house know just how closely she and Kai had danced together, how his hands had effortlessly slipped over her body, like he already knew her in intimate ways. Between dances, they’d shared quiet conversations over drinks in the back corner, and April just couldn’t get over the fact that Kai would let her go on and on without ever interrupting her. Then, right at midnight, they’d won the stupid costume contest. Getting to prance about on the small stage with Kai had been April’s favorite part of the evening.
Well, no, that wasn’t true. Her favorite part of the night had been afterwards, in her car. They’d come back to the house and parked in the driveway. Then April had thrown herself at him, but from her story, it was quite clear he’d eagerly reciprocated. Jessie had had to dig her fingers into her thighs under the table, as she’d listened to April describing Kai’s kissing technique; she’d even given herself deep blue bruises on her legs.
It hurt so much. Jessie never would have imagined how hard it was to see and hear him moving forward with someone else. Kai had called her the day after his date, and she’d met him for lunch and a tour of the museum. He never mentioned his night with April when he was with Jessie, but the tension of his evening with another woman was thick in the air. The whole day had felt different. Like, even though April wasn’t there, somehow she was there. Her spirit was there, hovering between them, and for once, they’d managed to keep a respectful distance.
That killed Jessie, too, but really, it was the whole point of Kai seeing April, to break the connection they had. And even if Kai was only mildly interested in April, he needed to keep seeing her, because it was having an effect on them. A horribly painful effect, but an effect nonetheless.
After their afternoon together, Kai had been busy with work, and a few days had passed without Jessie seeing him. She talked with him often on the phone, Kai checked on her at least once a day. It was almost like he needed the constant reassurance that the two of them were really okay. Jessie also heard about him from April, who took every free moment she had to call him, since she wasn’t seeing him either. It annoyed April to no end that their dates were being spaced so far apart, but Kai routinely told her that he didn’t have time for another date until the weekend. And last of all, Jessie heard about Kai through Grams, since he stopped by her place on the way home most nights, and Grams told Jessie about every visit.
Coming back to the present, Jessie watched her grandmother settle into her favorite chair. Even if she’d never admit it, she needed to sit down. A sad smile was on Jessie’s face as she watched the woman; her earlier laughter now subsided. While she talked to Kai once or twice a day, Jessie was really starting to miss him. She missed the quiet moments they used to share, back when it was just the two of them in the relationship, and she felt horrible that she couldn’t let it go. She needed to let it go. She had to share him; she had no other choice. They couldn’t be anything more than family. Close family.