Relaxing his arms, Kai started walking down the hallway again. Stopping at a vending machine, he plopped in some quarters, and they watched in silence as the machine spit out some black liquid that vaguely resembled coffee. When it shut off, Kai handed her the cup and put in some more quarters. Jessie found her eyes straying to his hips, and her mind flashed back to memories she really shouldn’t be revisiting. When he turned to face her, Jessie was still staring at his hips. She flushed and swiftly raised her eyes to his. Being caught staring at her cousin’s privates was not helping the situation any.
Giving her a sympathetic expression, Kai indicated a door leading to an outdoor courtyard. Jessie turned, grateful for the excuse to stop looking at him for a moment. She inhaled a deep breath as she stepped into the refreshing, cool air. Gray, heavy clouds trudged across the sky, but it was wasn’t pouring yet. The benches spaced along the pathway were wet with small puddles of rain from last night’s storm. It had been absolutely dumping when she’d left Kai’s apartment. The entire ride home she’d wished she was still at his place, wrapped in his sheets with his warm body next to hers. Now, as he stood beside her, his arm brushing against hers, she was torn between still wanting that scenario, and being revolted by it.
With his head down, Kai nodded over to a bench quaintly nestled under a tall tree. Its leaves having long ago fallen to the ground, the bare branches stretched up into the sky like skeletal fingers. The hospital had placed the bench at the very edge of the cracked concrete, and the berm directly behind it was bursting with clumps of green shrubbery. Jessie imagined that in the spring, it was probably beautiful out here. Maybe that helped ease the mind of frazzled family members, waiting on the outcome of their loved ones’ surgeries. She wished it had the same effect on her current condition; her mind was spinning in endless circles.
Kai wiped the droplets off the bench with his free hand, the extra water dripping from his skin. He sat on the edge and brushed the residual moisture on his thigh before motioning for her to sit beside him. She exhaled softly as she sat; their hips just touched on the small seat.
Kai flicked a glance at her then took a sip of his drink. Jessie did the same. As the warm coffee soothed her throat, the feeling of horror in her stomach started to shift into something tragic. She could like this man. A lot. Her night with him had been amazing. But, even if they were the exact perfect match, and last night had been some fated meeting to bring them together, it couldn’t happen. They were related. They shared the same gene pool. Being with him in that way was wrong, taboo. Her friends would be disgusted. Her family would disown her…and him. They’d lose everyone. And she wasn’t sure, but there were probably laws somewhere, preventing and punishing the very thing that they’d done last night. Marriage was certainly out. As were children. That thought made her stomach roil again. God, no, their genes were too similar to ever risk children.
She sputtered on the sip of coffee she’d just taken, and her hand flew to her aching gut. She’d suddenly remembered the forgotten condom in her purse last night. While she was still on the pill and pregnancy wasn’t an issue, it brought that This is too gross to be true feeling right back to her.
Kai stopped drinking and stared at her as she choked on her awful vending machine coffee. “What?” he whispered.
With tears of frustration and revulsion in her eyes, she immediately told him, “A part of you is still inside me.” Embarrassment hit her after she said it, but it was what was churning her stomach at the moment. He had released inside of her. A part of her cousin was currently swimming through her body. Oh God…
Kai’s face turned so pale, Jessie thought he might be light-headed. Closing his marvelous eyes, he inhaled a long breath. “Jesus…” Without opening his eyes, he whispered, “Could you get pregnant?”
She shook her head, but he couldn’t see it, since his eyes were still shut. So he would know they were okay in that sense, she verbally added, “No, I take the pill, but it’s still grossing me out.”
Kai finally peeked his eyes opened and looked at her. “I’m so sorry. I don’t usually… Things like last night aren’t common for me. But, we didn’t know, Jessie. We didn’t know.”
With a heavy exhale, Jessie let her hand drop to her lap. “Things like that don’t happen to me either. I just… You were so…” She swallowed and shook her head. “This is so messed up.”
Looking pensive, Kai ran his thumb around the edge of his coffee cup. Jessie tried to block out the knowledge of the other places that thumb had been recently. Staring down at the thick, blackness inside his cup, he again said, “We didn’t know.”
They sat in silence for a few moments, and then he lifted his gaze. “You know, it’s not all that crazy.” He shrugged at seeing Jessie’s confused expression. “In some cultures, cousins are arranged to be married. Didn’t Jerry Lee Lewis marry his cousin?”
She wrinkled her nose. “We have the same last name. Sorry, that doesn’t make me feel any better. And Jerry Lee Lewis? Ew.”
Kai laughed, just once, and then released another melancholy breath. “I’m just trying to make this not seem so…”
“Awful,” Jessie whispered.