His smile had faded. “I know,” she answered quietly. Just as she knew there was a difference. She’d never asked him what he’d done or seen or anything more about his job. She figured a man couldn’t do a job like that without facing a few ugly truths about the world.
They sat in silence for a few more moments and then Charlie couldn’t stand it. She got up and started clearing away the mess. Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea after all. Dave didn’t seem his usual happy-go-lucky self. He was … broody.
She rinsed the plates and started running water in the sink to wash the few dishes they’d dirtied. His chair scraped against the floor as he pushed it back and stood, and her heartbeat quickened a little when he came up behind her and reached around for the drying cloth.
“You didn’t ask me about yesterday,” he said. “It must be killing you.”
Annoyance flared. “Don’t flatter yourself.”
He gave a little laugh at her sharp reply. “Easy, tiger. I just meant that you aren’t always patient when it comes to wanting answers. I figure you’re either not interested in what happened or you’re too afraid to ask.”
She hoped her expression portrayed calm and perhaps a touch of ennui. “Why on earth would I be afraid?”
“Charlie,” he said quietly, and her heart knocked against her ribs.
“Don’t say my name in that kind of voice. I’ve been an idiot, okay? We can just go back to being friends, like we said.”
She scrubbed at a plate and put it in the drying rack. He instantly picked it up and dried it. “Whoever said we were just friends?”
She didn’t reply. Damn, he was patient. More patient than she was. They continued washing the dishes until there was nothing left to wash, and then Charlie finally said what had been on the tip of her tongue ever since she walked in the door.
“You promised you’d call.”
He put down the towel. “Okay…”
“When I left. You promised to call to let me know how it went. And then you didn’t.” She looked up at him.
“Charlie…”
She waved the rest of whatever he was going to say away.
“I know I’m being stupid. But you were right, I was jealous. You were talking about your family, and I kept thinking about you and Janice talking, bonding. And it’s stupid, but when you didn’t call…”
His lips curved the slightest bit. “Charlie, sweetheart.” There was such warmth in his voice that it cut into Charlie. “Janice is pregnant again.”
The words made Charlie look up at him quickly. To her surprise, he didn’t look upset by the information. “She and her husband?” Charlie asked, then realized it was a stupid question. Dave and Janice had been over for a long time, right?
He nodded. “Yep. She’s happy. Far happier than she was with me.”
“And that bothers you?”
“That she’s happy? Of course not. I’m happy for her, and happy for them. I guess if I was looking for a sign that Janice and I were wrong for each other, this is really it.”
Charlie didn’t even realize she’d been holding her breath until she let it out again in a long, measured exhale.
“I’m going to take a few days before Christmas and drive down. Take Nora her gifts and spend some time with her. That’s what Janice wanted to talk about.”
“Are you thinking of moving closer? It’s not a huge drive from here to there, but it’s long enough.”
“Would it bother you if I did?” he asked, and silence fell in the room. What was he asking?
“Why would it bother me?” Why couldn’t she come right out and ask what she wanted to ask? Say what she wanted to say? She didn’t usually have a hard time speaking her mind. Maybe it was because she was afraid to hear the answer. “I’ve seen you with Daniel.” She met his gaze. “I would never want to do anything to stand in the way of your relationship with your daughter.”
She smiled up at him, feeling completely false. She wasn’t cheerful. Wasn’t happy. She was let down. Mad at herself for getting her hopes up. For pretending that it didn’t matter that he wasn’t looking for a relationship. “Anyway, I should go.”
“So soon?” He came closer, close enough she had trouble breathing. “But I haven’t decorated the tree yet. I thought we could do that together. It looks so naked, sitting in the stand with nothing on it.”
She took a step back. “And then what? I don’t think I can do this.” Her insides trembled. Why was it so hard to say the truth? To verbalize her own needs? She would do it this time. She would.
“Do what?”
“This!” She gestured with her finger, moving it between the two of them. “I know what you said from the beginning. About seeing where all this goes, no pressure or anything. I know all this in my head, Dave. My head is not the problem.”
“Then what the hell is?” he asked, his voice brittle. “I thought we were just going to enjoy being together, no strings, no demands.”