“Are we starting something here? Because it feels like we are.”
“Do you want to be?” she asked, and held her breath. The more she got to know him, the more her misgivings melted away. He had potential. He was a good man making his way through a complicated situation. Surely that was reason enough to curb her usual need to define and categorize and just chill. Take it one step at a time.
“How can you ask that? Ever since we met, I’ve been trying to find ways to spend time with you. You make me laugh, which is something I haven’t done much of recently. You’re kind and a little bit shy and…” He paused and framed her face with his other hand too. “And you’re beautiful. I’d be crazy not to want to see you again.”
She pushed away the little voice that insisted that nowhere was a possible destination for the two of them. Charlie was getting thoroughly sick of hearing that voice, and she was starting to understand why. It was because every time she’d tried to make a decision for herself, her parents had insisted that it would take her nowhere. That their way was better. Safer. They knew best way more than she did.
She swallowed. Told herself this wasn’t about rebellion but about finally, finally trusting herself to make good decisions. To know what was best for herself.
“Me too,” she whispered.
His lips were cold as they kissed, but she didn’t mind in the least. With a slight groan of pleasure, she twined one arm around his neck and he squeezed his around her waist, their bodies angled so they fit together without crushing the baby. The wind made a shushing sound in the fir trees around them, cocooning them from the outside world.
When they finally broke apart and Charlie’s heels were back on solid ground, Dave gave a little chuckle. “Phew,” he said.
“Phew is right. But I’d better go, let you get ready. I’ll talk to you later?”
“I’ll call. Let you know how it went.”
She gave him a final peck on the lips and then stepped back, lifting a mittened hand in a wave. “Good luck.”
“Thanks.” He nodded at her. “And thanks for understanding, Charlie.”
“Of course.”
It only took a few moments to fasten Daniel back into the stroller and start home to the cottage, her thoughts whirling with Dave, his kiss, their conversation.
Chapter Nine
When Charlie didn’t hear from Dave on Sunday night, she pretty much reconciled herself to the fact that she’d been constructing sand castles in the sky where he was concerned. A few dates and a few kisses did not a relationship make. Even if he had said it was something more. Obviously, it wasn’t enough to get him to pick up the phone.
Reality check, Yang, she reminded herself early Monday morning as she cradled Daniel in one arm and poured herself a cup of Josh’s high-test sludge from the office pot with her opposite hand. It had been a rough night. Daniel had fussed and she’d been up every two hours trying to get him to settle.
It was Josh who finally stepped into her office between patients and told her to sit for five minutes.
“You look like death warmed over. You need some time off?”
“Of course not.” She was managing okay. It was just a bad day was all. “We had a rough night. Nothing serious.”
He crossed his ankle over his knee. “Charlie, it’s a big thing taking on a newborn. There’s a reason why women take maternity leave.”
“Is his being here a problem?”
Josh’s face softened. “Of course not. The practice isn’t that busy, and I don’t mind covering a little bit. It’s a good thing you’re doing.”
“Thanks, Josh.” She let out a breath of relief. “I appreciate the support. You’ve been really understanding.”
Josh smiled. “Hey, I’m not a scrooge. Besides, I know it’s only temporary.”
The words left a gaping hole in her heart. “I don’t want to give him back,” she confessed. Every maternal instinct she’d tamped down for the last few days came roaring back. She did want this. She wanted a family of her own, to love and to be loved. To be needed. She swallowed as she rubbed her hand over Daniel’s tiny back.
Boy, Dave was right about one thing. Life didn’t come with a perfect blueprint for happiness.
“Are you planning on adopting him?”
She swallowed. Was she? “I don’t know. I want a family, but one thing I’ve learned is that being a single parent is really hard. I’m just enjoying him while I have him and trying not to worry too much about the future.”