Chloe left Derrick in the guest room and headed into the living room. Her legs gave out when she hit the couch and she slumped down onto the cushions. She’d never felt so damned raw and now she had to deal with the guilt of making promises to a ten-year-old boy that she knew she’d never be able to keep.
Volunteers were few and far between. The good ones were overworked and spread too thin. The purpose of the foundation had been to not only build the sports facilities but to pay full-time coaches. So many programs were pay-to-play. Club fees were outrageous and coaching fees were more than a lot of families could afford. Chloe had hoped to offer the same opportunities to kids who wouldn’t get to play organized sports otherwise. Kids involved in sports were better students, more motivated, and stayed out of trouble. Now, all of her hard work was slowly swirling down the toilet. She hated to let people down. Tonight, she’d let Nate down. And next week, she’d be letting hundreds of kids and families down. Awesome.
Chloe ordered a pizza and got Derrick set up at the kitchen table. In addition to her last-ditch effort to find emergency investors, she’d be meeting with both social services and Derrick’s foster parents tomorrow. She couldn’t think much further into the future. If she did, she’d lose it for sure. Unemployment, job searches, failure, and heartache loomed over her like a noose that slowly choked her. Something had to give. If it didn’t, Chloe was going to crack for sure.
Feet propped up on the coffee table and her laptop open and ready to go, Chloe hunkered down for a long night of research. She sent off several e-mails to former colleagues at Make-A-Wish. One of them might have a suggestion that she hadn’t thought of yet. Her cell rang from beside her and Chloe checked the caller ID: Nate. With the speed of hummingbird wings, her heart took flight and Chloe’s mouth went dry. She held the phone in her palm, her thumb hovering over the screen to accept the call. The hurtful words he’d said to her came crashing back and Chloe hit Ignore.
She couldn’t open herself up to more hurt. Talking to Nate right now would only mess with her head and her heart. The voice mail alert went off and her fingers itched to play the message. Don’t do it, Chloe. The things he said to you can’t be fixed with I’m sorry. She was still too angry and hurt over the things he’d said to let him off the hook.
Yet, her finger slid across the screen. She brought the phone to her ear, fearful of what Nate would say and at the same, hopeful.
“Chloe.” The sound of her name was a tortured groan at the back of his throat. He paused and let out a long breath. “God, Chloe. I’m so, so sorry. I was completely out of line. I know that an apology isn’t going to erase the things I said. But I want to make it up to you. Want to prove to you that I’m not that asshole who said those horrible things. If I could take it all back, I would. Chloe…” His voice hitched. “I can’t picture a tomorrow without you in it. We need to talk. There’s a lot I haven’t told you and I want a chance to explain. Please call me.”
Chloe set her phone back down beside her. What else could he possibly have to say? Her heart softened as she thought about the way his voice broke with emotion. Maybe he truly regretted the things he’d said. Chloe knew that Nate wasn’t exactly a serene pond. He was a volcano, ready to erupt with even the slightest disturbance.
No. She couldn’t excuse his behavior. Couldn’t let him think that it was okay to treat her that way. Was it fair to not give him a chance, though?
“Chloe, are you gonna marry Nate?”
“What?” She set her laptop aside and craned her neck toward the dining room. “No.”
“Why not?”
She could think of a million reasons why not. The least of them being the fact that he hadn’t asked her. Chloe was struck by how much had changed in just a few hours. She’d gone from daydreams of domestic bliss—maybe even marriage—to having her heart smashed under the assault of Nate’s words.
“I don’t think Nate wants to marry me.” This totally wasn’t the sort of conversation she wanted to be having with a ten-year-old. Hell, it wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have at all!
“He does,” Derrick said, matter of fact. “I could tell the other day at lunch. He looks at you like he wants to marry you.”
Chloe choked on a half-sob, half-laugh. “I don’t know about that, kiddo.”
“You should marry him,” Derrick continued on, lost in his own fantasy. “You guys could take me out for pizza and to soccer games. Do you think Nate would want to watch me play?”
Tears stung at Chloe’s eyes. All Derrick needed was a stable home and someone who could give him attention and encouragement. It wouldn’t take much to keep him from getting into trouble. And goddamn it, she was going to let him down. Let a bunch of kids just like him down. All because she hadn’t been honest with Nate the first night they’d met. All because she hadn’t been up-front with him when she’d made the decision to reach out to Travis.