When I’d left the pole barn this morning, she was washing dishes, which seemed safe enough. Nevertheless I had visions of her breaking a glass, trying to clean it up, and bleeding out on the kitchen floor. Now, that may seem like extreme thinking, but that’s what this whole thing had done to me. It had caused extra stress and sleepless nights. It was all beginning to take its toll.
Though I was the only member who needed to drive to Assembly, thankfully, I wasn’t the last to arrive. As I found my way to my seat, Benjamin stopped me. “How is Sara?”
I shrugged. “Ignorance is bliss. She’s doing better than me.”
He nodded. “Raquel’s worried. She knows better than to ask, but she’s heard rumors. The wives talk.”
His comment set my skin on fire as I thought about the wives gossiping about Sara. It was ridiculous. They all knew the truth. They all knew she wasn’t really guilty, not of anything other than having been acquired.
“It’s none of my business,” he continued, “but you need to tell her. If Lilith or even Ruth show up and she’s unaware that she’s being punished, it could be worse.”
I nodded. “Well, since they need their husbands to drive them outside of the community, I guess I’m safe through the Commission meeting.”
Benjamin took a deep breath. “I’m going to share something with you. It happened before you came to The Light, but”—his face saddened—“Raquel was acquired.”
I leaned back. “Wow, I didn’t know. She’s done great. It’s difficult to tell which females came which way to The Light, once they’re fully indoctrinated.”
“I just wanted you to know, I understand what you’re going through.”
“Were you on the Assembly?”
“No, you’ve got it rougher on that one. I was doing what I do now, working with Brother Raphael in the lab. While in the dark I was a pharmacist. I didn’t have the chemistry and compound pharmacy experience—then,” he added with a grin. “Anyway, I was working with Brother Raphael, and I have to say, he helped me get through it.”
I looked around. “So, Sister Rebecca, Brother Raphael’s wife was . . . acquired?”
He nodded. “You’d be surprised.”
“Do you? Did you?” I ran my hand through my hair. “Have you ever been sorry?”
“No!” he whispered definitively. “It’s the way of The Light. Brother Raphael helped me come to terms with that. God made Raquel for me. I wouldn’t have known that if it weren’t for Father Gabriel. We’ve been together over five years.”
“Do you love her?”
I knew the answer by the way his eyes shone. “More than my own life.”
“Thanks,” I said, genuinely appreciative.
“When you go back out there, talk to her. Trust me. You don’t want Lilith being the one to tell her.”
I nodded. “You’re right. I don’t.”
“Brothers, it’s time to begin,” Brother Raphael’s voice, with his Boston accent, thundered over the chatter from about the room. “Father Gabriel’s ready to pray.”
CHAPTER 19
Sara
I ran my fingers along the surface of the bed, making sure that the blankets were straight and the pillows were in place. I wasn’t sure if I’d always done these domesticated-type things, but I supposed I had. Jacob hadn’t been the one to tell me I needed to do them, or that they were my responsibility. It had been Sister Lilith, during her training. I didn’t mind. To be honest, on my first full day of freedom from my hospital room since my accident, I enjoyed doing anything. Besides, this place wasn’t that big, so there wasn’t too much I could do.
Since Jacob had left for Assembly, I’d washed our breakfast dishes, straightened the living room, and made the bed. I didn’t know if he’d notice, but doing it made me feel as if I’d accomplished something.
As I sat on the edge of the freshly made bed, my thoughts went to unmaking it . . . with my husband. So far all I could remember was actually sleeping with him, his arm around me and my head on his shoulder. The steady beat of his heart and the rhythm of his breaths gave me comfort. Though I couldn’t wait to see him with my eyes, in my mind I’d created a picture. While he slept, I’d gently traced his face. I’d lightly run my finger over his brow and nose, and along his defined jaw. I’d caressed his shoulders and felt the definition of his muscles. His hardness had pushed against my hips, and I knew that the top of my head fit under his chin when we stood and he held me close. I had no way of knowing if the image I’d created was accurate, but in my heart I remembered the scruffy jaw I’d detected with my touch, and piercing blue eyes.