Pent-up energy, anger, and a sense of betrayal propel me off the couch and onto my feet. As I pace around the room, I think about how fucked up the rest of the summer will be with her living next door to me. So close but so far away. There’ll be no more of our late-night lovemaking, holding her tightly until we fall asleep, or waking up with her in my arms. No more evening strolls with River walking between us, holding our hands and watching the sunsets—like a family. I feel like such a fucking fool.
“You’re partially right,” she replies softly. “I should’ve talked to you about it sooner. I’m so sorry I didn’t. Even more than that, I’m sorry I’ve made you feel like you’re not a very significant part of my life. That couldn’t be further from the truth, Ace. Zoe, Lily, and I had just been talking about my feelings for you a few minutes before this conversation with Zoe occurred. It all happened so fast and I didn’t want to miss what may be my only chance. Zoe was so adamant that her mind was made up to put her baby up for adoption one way or another.
“The truth is, Ace, I do see us. I do want us—all four of us. The only thing I’m unsure about is what happens to us when my leave from work is over. When the summer ends, do we end too? You said before that we’d go where the summer never ends, and my heart believed you. But my mind says that’s just an imaginary place and a way to avoid dealing with the reality that’s right in front of us. I didn’t know what else to do, or even how to ask you if you wanted to adopt a baby with me.”
Layne stops talking for a moment and I hear the telltale sounds of sniffles coming from behind me. I turn to look at her, and the sight of Layne’s tearstained cheeks deeply disturbs the caveman protector in me. The urge to lash out and annihilate the bastard who made my girl cry is strong. My hands curl into fists and I take a step toward her, intent on comforting her, until I realize that I’m the bastard who made her cry.
She wipes her eyes and somehow sounds even sadder when she speaks again. The tears continue to stream down her face so fast that she gives up trying to wipe them away. She slides to the edge of the couch, slightly leans forward, and props her forearms on her legs. The vise in my chest squeezes tighter with every tear that hits the floor.
“When I said I’m falling for you, you said you’d fall with me. I am so in love with you I can’t even picture my life back in New York anymore. I should be scared of this, of giving you my heart after what I’ve been through. But all I can see is you and me and River and now this baby as a family. I don’t know exactly how we’ll stay together, but you are all I can see. My biggest fear is that you’ll let me get on that plane and leave here forever.”
She pushes up from the couch without looking at me and picks up her purse sitting on the floor beside her. When she turns toward the door, my feet spring into action before my mind even thoroughly registers what’s happening. From behind her, my arms wrap around her waist and hold her tightly to me. My mouth is against her ear and I make my heartfelt plea. I can only hope it’s enough.
“Please don’t go. Don’t leave me, Layne. You’re all I can see for the rest of my life. And I’ve had those exact thoughts—that I should run, hide, protect myself and my daughter—but I can’t. My forever starts and ends with you. I want to be the one who makes you happy. The one you run to first. The one who protects you. I swear, I’d never let you get anywhere near that plane. There is nothing I wouldn’t do just to be with you. I am such a fucking idiot. I love you so damn much, but apparently I just assumed you knew that. Stay with me.”
I’m holding my breath waiting for her to decide, but I can’t release her from my embrace. My heart is thumping in my chest, my lungs are burning and revolting against me, but the strength in my arms hasn’t waned. When I feel her tense muscles suddenly relax throughout her entire body, I can breathe again. She lets me take her purse from her hand and drop it beside the couch. Since I know she isn’t leaving, I loosen my grip just enough to turn her around to face me.
The sadness in her eyes makes my stomach drop to my ankles. One arm is still wrapped around her waist as the other hand slides up her body, her neck, and to her face to wipe away the stray tears. She inhales a haggard breath to try to soothe her frayed emotions.
“I want to be the one who makes you cry tears of happiness. Never tears of pain,” I whisper.
“I want that, too,” her small voice replies. “I’m crying because I thought I’d lost you.”
“Never,” I vow. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. Thinking I’d lost you made me a little crazy.”
“Never,” she replies.