“This trip was a sabbatical for me, a chance to get away from the stressors in my life and get my mind settled. I have a job and an apartment waiting for me back home.”
Saying “home” conjured a different image with the mere mention of the word, though. Instead of my luxury Manhattan apartment in the city that never sleeps, my mind’s eye pictured a mountain cabin hideaway. A cozy home nestled in the rolling hills and mountains, surrounded by a river with clear, flowing water, and a back porch with a grill, homemade ice cream, and the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen. In the yard, a little blond-haired, blue-gray eyed girl plays with her toys, happy and content in the knowledge she’s safe and loved. In the pasture just a few feet away, a beautiful buckskin horse named Frankie grazes without an ounce of fear toward humans.
“Layne, where’d you go?” Lily asked.
“I’m sorry. Did you say something?” I replied and looked between Zoe and Lily. “What did I miss?”
Zoe laughed, her eyes sparkling with mirth. “Must have been a great daydream. Was Ace the star of it?”
“Zip it,” I retorted with a full smile.
“I asked if there’s any way we can change your mind about leaving,” Zoe replied. “But it looks like we need to talk to Ace and get him to change your mind.”
“I never thought a man could ever make me second-guess what I’ve always been so intent to have for myself,” I replied wistfully.
“Until Ace,” Lily replied matter-of-factly.
“Until Ace,” I confirmed.
“The heart knows what it wants, regardless of what your brain tries to convince you,” Lily answered. “It’s up to you to figure out which one you’ll follow.”
When River started yawning, Lily decided it was time to take her home for a nap. Zoe and I sat at a picnic table under an open-air pavilion. She suddenly became distinctly quiet and sullen, her long face conveying her deep sadness. My heart broke for her and I wished I could help her.
“Zoe, what is it, sweetheart?” I asked her as I grasped her hand in mine.
“I’ve put it off and hid it for as long as I can. I have to tell my parents that I’m pregnant. Everyone else knows and someone will eventually say something to them. I’ve been waiting for it to happen every day when I walk in.”
“Do you want me to go with you? Be there with you when you tell them?” I offered because I was honestly afraid of how Zoe would take their reaction.
“You’d do that for me?” She sounded so surprised, so shocked that someone would actually be there for her and on her side. Tears sprang to her eyes, and I noticed her neck working overtime to swallow the tears before they could fall.
“Of course I will. Do you want to do it today and get it over with? The more you build it up in your mind, the larger the problem seems.”
“I’ve been thinking about something else I want to talk to you about first. You may need some time to think about it, though.” She wouldn’t make eye contact with me as she spoke. Her voice sounded so small and unsure, as if she were afraid I’d turn my back on her when she confessed what had been on her mind.
“Zoe, you can tell me or ask me anything. I won’t judge you, I promise.”
“Layne, I really want to get out of this town and go off to college. I’ve taken the ACT and my scores are really good. My GPA is, too. My guidance counselor said I can get into the University of Georgia if I wanted to go there.
“That’s my dream school, Layne. Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve heard people talk about the Dawgs and I’ve wanted to go there. But that can’t happen if I keep the baby. Jeremy won’t acknowledge this is his baby, so he won’t want it. I was hoping you’d think about adopting it. I’ve seen you with River, and I know you’d be a great mom. I wouldn’t worry about it ever being abused or neglected.”
“Zoe, this is a big decision for you to make. Are you sure you’ve given it enough thought?”
At that moment, I couldn’t think of another coherent response. My desire to have a baby had turned into an obsession and clouded my judgment. That was part of the reason why I needed to get away from my life in New York, to find out who I really am again. In a matter of weeks after arriving here, a young girl was offering me her unborn child to raise as my own. To say I was floored was the understatement of the year.
“I’ve known I’d put it up for adoption as soon as I realized Jeremy had no intentions of being with me, of being a family. The only person I’ve talked about it with is my doctor. She knows the whole story, and thankfully, she knows my parents well enough to know the truth about how they treat me, so she believes me. She said it’s my decision and she’d support me either way,” she replied. “I think you were meant to be here, Layne. Right now, during the hardest time of my life.