Instead of answering, Border reached out and cupped Jake’s jaw. The other man inhaled sharply before leaning into Border’s touch. Border licked his lips and leaned down, just needing a taste, just one taste.
When he touched his lips to Jake’s, they both let out a moan as if they’d been starving for one another. Maybe that was the case, and if so, he was damn well fine with it. He needed this, needed more. And he was afraid to tell anyone just how much he needed it. He pressed deeper, keeping his mouth shut, the same as Jake. They could go further, and he knew they would, but for now, he just needed the touch of Jake’s lips to his own, the feel of the other man in his arms even if it was just for the moment.
He pulled back after a heartbeat and met Jake’s gaze.
“Damn,” Jake said with a grin.
“Damn,” Border repeated.
“I take it you’re okay with just being, then? One step at a time?” Jake traced one finger over Border’s jaw before letting his hand fall. The feeling of Jake’s skin against his made him want to bend Jake over the couch and have his way with him, but that would be too fast. Even with their history—especially because of their history—they needed to think before they did anything they would regret. Because it wasn’t only them that mattered now. Maya was in the room with them even if she wasn’t physically present. And while Border was happy with that, he was always aware of it, as well.
Border nodded. “I can do that. But we talk the whole time, okay? Secrets only mess us up. And Maya’s part of this, remember? No secrets from her.”
Jake shook his head. “No secrets from her.”
Border then said something he wasn’t sure would be the right thing, but it was something he’d been trying to figure out since he’d first seen Maya and Jake in the same room.
“I don’t think we should have sex until you, me, and Maya talk. Together.”
Jake’s eyes widened. “Okay…”
He reached out and gripped Jake’s hand. “We’ve had sex before Jake. We did, and we didn’t talk about it. And I don’t want that again.”
“But you’re okay that Maya and I already have?”
Border nodded. “You and Maya are one thing. You and I are another. And eventually, if things work out, the three of us are one more.” He paused. “And I guess Maya and I are still another relationship.” He snorted. “That’s a lot of relationships that have to work as one, you know? So I guess what I’m saying is that since I’m the new guy here, I want to step…slowly. Or slower than full throttle.”
Jake frowned. “You aren’t the new guy.”
“I’ve been gone for a long time, Jake. So, yeah, I feel like the new guy. I’m not saying I don’t want you, because, fuck, Jake, I definitely want you, but…”
“But you don’t want to have sex yet.” Jake grinned. “What about a blowjob?”
Border threw his head back and laughed. “A blowjob is sex, too, buddy. But…” His cock ached, and he held back a groan. Now he couldn’t get the image of Jake’s lips around his dick out of his mind. It was a damn fine image. “Let’s see where we’re at after we talk some more. I’m honestly just making things up as I go along here, you know.”
Jake leaned forward and kissed him softly. Border held back another groan. “Let’s talk, then. Because I want to know where you’ve been and who’ve you’ve been since I last saw you. We were best friends once.”
“And now Maya is your best friend.” He paused. “I’m not jealous about that, you know. I’m glad you had her. In fact, I’m not jealous about anything you have with her. Not even a little. I guess that’s why I’m going along with this, you know? Why I think this could work. Or, at least why I’m hoping.”
“This is all so weird, and yet not weird at all.”
Border shrugged, then winced.
“Hell, turn around for me, big guy,” Jake ordered. “Let me look at that shoulder. And while you’re at it, you can tell me why you have a fucking gunshot wound scarring up your skin like this. Because I might have ignored it for your sake when you first took off your shirt, but I’m not about to now. What the fuck happened, Border?”
Border turned and let Jake have his back, aware there would be no more secrets between them. There couldn’t be. Though he would have to ease Jake into the life he’d lived because the whole thing was just too much for one person all at once.
“I got shot.”
Jake punched him lightly in the side before leaning forward and gently kissing the raised skin. Border sucked in a breath but didn’t move. No one had ever done that before, even in the short relationships he’d had since the wound.
It was fitting that Jake would be the first.
Jake would always be the first.
“Border.”
“I was on an assignment that went bad. The people I was protecting had enemies with bigger guns than I had. I got my people out, but I wasn’t fast enough to not end up a little scarred from it.”
Jake’s fingers traced the scar, and Border had to swallow hard so he could find a way to keep breathing.
“It looks pretty bad, Border.”
Border licked his lips. “It wasn’t as bad as it looks.”