And now it had just fallen into my lap. A second chance. Mine for the taking.
I pursed my lips, sliding them back and forth as I considered it. “I’m not sure I’m ready,” I said, thinking not just of school—but of leaving my father, my brother…and Landon.
I pushed him out of my mind. Landon had already made his decision—that was clear enough in how he’d treated me this morning.
“Of course you’re ready,” my professor insisted. “You were my most promising student. Think of it as a way to get back into the swing of things. You’ll be immersed in science for six weeks, and then come back and finish your junior year.”
It sounded good.
Really, really good.
But somehow, despite all of it, my heart felt like it was breaking as I responded.
“Okay,” I said, hesitantly. “Yes. Let’s do it.”
He beamed. “This will be good for you.” He started to turn away and then paused, looking back at me. “Don’t disappoint me.”
And then he spun on the heel of his polished leather shoes, leaving me with my empty kiosk.
Telling Matt and my father about the internship had been both easier and more difficult than I’d anticipated.
Easier because both of them seemed genuinely happy for me—especially my father. Matt’s enthusiasm was muted, but then again, that was Matt in a nutshell. At least, that was how Matt seemed to be lately. Muted. Distracted.
But both of them understood the tremendous opportunity this internship offered me, and how I couldn’t afford to pass up any more chances.
“You’ve given up enough for this family, and for me,” my father had whispered in my ear as he held me tightly.
The hard part came immediately afterwards, as I lay in my bedroom, alone, crying. I was crying for everything that had happened these last three years.
Losing Landon.
Losing Mom.
Losing my shot at college and meaningful work and the sense that I could make a new life for myself.
Seeing my father crumble as our family struggled to survive the fallout of my mother’s illness and passing.
It all seemed to hit me in a wave, a crushing wave of grief. Especially now that I was going away to Dallas, which meant I would be losing Landon all over again.
I knew that he didn’t care as much as I did. But still, the night we’d spent together had been like nothing I’d ever imagined. And it had ended so quickly.
After I was all cried out, my sadness turned slowly to rage.
Rage at Landon for leaving so abruptly those three years ago. It was almost as if all of the bad things that happened to our family came as a direct result of his leaving. As if he’d somehow cursed us with his absence.
Rage at him for being so happy and complete in his new life.
Fury that he seemed willing to drop me all over again, dismissing me that morning like I was some escort whose services had been rendered.
The rage and resentment I felt toward Landon was like a protective suit of armor, and I almost welcomed it. Anger was easier than feeling desperately sad and lonely without him.
Suddenly, lights washed across my bedroom wall—headlights to be more precise.
I got out of bed and went to the window and that’s when I saw his car sitting there, idling, waiting.
Landon was at my house in the middle of the night. But why?
Did Matt tell him about the internship? Did he know I was leaving and he’d come to say goodbye?
I left my bedroom and went to the front door, heart pounding hard in my chest. I was shaking with barely suppressed anger, but also excitement. Relieved that I would see him one last time before I left town tomorrow.
When I swung the front door open and stepped outside, he was already getting out of his car.
“What are you doing?” I said, my voice a half-whisper. “It’s late. Everyone’s asleep.”
“I needed to see you,” he said, his voice sending chills up my spine.
“Okay, well—you’ve seen me,” I said, folding my arms and giving a shrug.
“Taryn,” he said, coming closer. His voice sounded strained.
“What?”
“Let’s not do this,” he replied.
“Do what?” I asked innocently.
“Let’s not pretend that what happened last night was nothing.”
I laughed. “That’s your area of expertise, Landon. Pretending like nothing happened and nothing matters.”
“You didn’t even wait for me this morning,” he said. As he drew closer, I could see the whites of his eyes, and his pupils, black as he stared at me. “I told you to take my car. But you just left.”
“I needed to go.” I sighed. “And now I need to go inside and get some sleep, Landon. I have a lot to do tomorrow.”
He grabbed my wrist before I could turn away. “What do you have to do tomorrow?” he asked. “You work for me. Maybe I’ll give you tomorrow off.”
That’s when I realized that Landon didn’t know.
He had no idea that I was leaving, that it was over. He still thought he was the one holding all the cards, the one with all of the power over me.