The lead got put back in his foot sooner than either of us thought it would be, Nicole thought, and something about it made her want to cry.
Red was driving with controlled urgency. He put his Bluetooth earpiece on and immediately was on the phone with someone powerful. She could tell by the way Red said things that it was someone who could get them seen right away.
“She needs to be looked at right now,” Red said into his headset. “I’ll have her there in under fifteen minutes, but I want Dr. Rosen, unless she’s not available for some reason. If not, please get me the next best available person. Okay?”
He looked over at her and tried to smile.
“I’m okay,” she whispered, not feeling in the least okay. But she could tell he was frightened too, and she wanted to somehow reassure him.
The baby will be fine, she told herself.
They arrived at Yale-New Haven Hospital a short while after that, and Red escorted her in and made another phone call.
Minutes later, the doctor herself came and met them. “I’m Dr. Rosen,” she said to Nicole. “Are you okay to walk? We can use a wheelchair if you’re uncomfortable.”
“No, I’m okay to walk,” Nicole said.
Dr. Rosen put her immediately at ease with her calm demeanor. She took them to the fourth floor, the obstetrics wing of the hospital, asking questions while they went.
“How long have you been cramping?” Dr. Rosen asked.
“Maybe an hour or so,” Nicole said.
“And bleeding? Is it light spotting or—“
“No. It’s heavy, like a period.”
They arrived at one of the examination rooms and Dr. Rosen inquired about the pregnancy tests Nicole had taken to determine she was, in fact, pregnant.
“Could it somehow have been a false positive?” Nicole asked her.
“That’s very rare, especially since you took more than one test. You’re not taking hCG supplements or anything, are you?”
“I didn’t even know that existed,” Nicole said, trying to laugh at the absurdity of it all.
“Yeah, it’s a new diet fad and it can cause issues with elevating a woman’s hCG artificially,” she said.
Dr. Rosen excused herself and asked Nicole to get into a hospital gown. Red stood there, his arms folded, trying to look less nervous than he was, while Nicole changed.
When she was done changing, she sat on the table and the two of them looked at one another.
“What if something’s happened to the baby?” she asked.
“I know it’s going to be fine,” he said, but she could see the deep concern in his eyes.
“And if it’s not?”
“Then we’ll get through it together, right?”
“Yeah.” She nodded, not feeling any better. He came over and gripped her hand.
A few minutes later, Dr. Rosen came back inside and told Nicole to lie on the examination table and put her feet on the stirrups. “I’m just going to do a brief pelvic exam,” she said, smiling. “Try not to worry, okay?”
“Okay.” Nicole tried to smile again. This time she completely failed.
“You might feel some pressure or a little bit of discomfort—just tell me if you feel any pain, all right Nicole?”
“Yes.”
Red was watching with tremendous attention, but keeping very still and quiet. She met his gaze and tried to just think of him protecting her.
He won’t let anything bad happen to me, she thought.
Dr. Rosen gently touched Nicole’s bare stomach and pressed against it, feeling around the entire belly area. “Everything feel okay so far—any tender or painful areas?” she asked.
“Nope. Everything’s just fine.”
Well, that was a lie—but maybe she could manifest okay-ness if she could just act the part.
“Good.” Dr. Rosen used the speculum to continue the exam. “There is some blood,” she said. “However, the cervix looks as it should.”
Red continued to look into her eyes and reassure her with his presence.
“I’m just going to look a little more, here,” Dr. Rosen explained. “The vaginal walls are consistent with a pregnancy,” she said. “Now normally I’d have you do a blood test to make sure, but given the nature of your situation—I think it might be best to do a transvaginal sonogram. That will provide the quickest answer to our questions.”
“How will that work?” Red asked.
“I have the ultrasound machine right here,” Dr. Rosen said, pulling back her stool to talk to them. “We can do it immediately.”
Red looked to Nicole. “Are you okay with that?”
“I just want to make sure the baby’s healthy.”
Dr. Rosen explained the procedure, her calm, kind voice partially allowing Nicole to remain upbeat.
Maybe everything’s fine. Maybe she’ll tell me that this is all totally natural and normal, and that our baby is healthy. The doctor asked her if she’d like to proceed with the ultrasound.
“Yes,” Nicole said, nodding.
Dr. Rosen moved the monitor so that she could clearly see the screen, and then she took out a probe, rolled a condom over it, and applied some lubricant to it.
Nicole began to shake now. She had just a terrible, awful feeling about what was happening.