I can't find the words to express exactly what I want to say, so I reach my hand up and slide it around his neck. Pulling his face to mine, I kiss him. I pour every emotion I'm feeling into it, but his lips and tongue demand more, so I finally let my walls tumble down and give him everything I have to give.
Abandoning all conscious thought, I succumb fully to the desire that's overtaken my body. Pressing hard against him, I moan into his mouth, letting him know how much I love being this close to him. His arms scoop me up and carry me into my bedroom, and a moment later, we're on my bed, tearing each other's clothes off.
My body is alive and my mind is focused completely on him. No man has ever made me feel this way. I want to hand my heart to him and beg him to take care of me. For the first time in my life, I want to let someone in completely and give them the power to love me or break me, but I know he'll never break me. I know he will cherish me and make me feel like the only woman in the world.
He kisses me, breaking into my thoughts, and I thread my fingers through his hair, never wanting this moment to end. When he breaks the kiss, he looks down at me and says, "You're so damn beautiful, sweetheart."
My heart beats faster as happiness spreads through me. It's in this moment I realise I'm not feeling awkward or uncomfortable being naked with him. Sex for me is often weird the first few times with someone, and only having been with three men, I don't feel very experienced at all. But being with Tanner just feels so natural.
This is exactly where I'm supposed to be.
He puts on a condom and positions himself over me. Skin to skin and soul to soul, he takes me slowly to begin with, and after he makes sure I'm okay, he begins to move faster.
I wrap myself around him and hold tight while he delivers the kind of pleasure I've never known. We move together chasing our release, and when it rushes through me, I know this is so much more than just physical for me. This is an emotional release as much as a sexual one. I'm finally learning to lay myself bare for someone. Making myself vulnerable to love and hurt and joy and pain and all the amazing things Tanner can give me is what this moment is really about.
I never expected to find this with someone so different to me, but I know in my heart that he's my future. Tanner Brady might have been made differently to me, but he was most definitely made for loving me.
Chapter Twelve
TANNER
"I knew you two were made for each other the minute I met you," Lesley says to me over lunch a week after I made Juliette mine.
The three of us are having lunch at Juliette's favourite café with Ana before she flies out to the States to start filming a new movie. It's the first time our sisters have met and so far everyone is getting on well.
Juliette places her hand on my leg as she leans close to me. "And just how did you know that?" she asks her sister with an easy smile.
Before she can answer, Ana cuts in with a grin. "Oh, that's an easy question. The saying 'opposites attract' was made for you two. I've never seen Tanner chase a woman before and although I haven't known you very long, the way you argued with him was a dead giveaway, because up until that point, you were always so formal and professional around me."
"I just loved watching my always put-together sister lose her cool that day we were discussing star signs," Lesley says with a laugh.
"Wait, was all that information about our star signs bullshit?" Juliette asks.
"No, it was true, but damn, it was fun getting to say all that stuff to you guys and watch you both think about what I'd said," she replies.
"They just needed a little push, right?" Ana says.
"I don't think your brother did, but I know Juliette did."
"Okay, enough talking about us like we're not even here," I butt in.
"Thank you for giving me a push," Juliette says, surprising me. I thought this conversation would cause her to unleash beast mode on her sister, not this. "I've been hiding myself away for so long now that I'd forgotten how to live, and how to let someone in. As much as it was hard to hear, you were right about me being a crazy woman when it came to men."
Lesley reaches for her hand and squeezes it. "We can all be crazy women when it comes to men, especially our own men. You just need to remember that it's normal and not a reason to push them away. When you feel the crazy coming on, that's the time to hold them close and let them help you through it."
Ana nods in agreement. "And failing that, you pick up the phone and call us, and we'll get you through it. Crazy knows crazy after all."
"What the hell is all this crazy talk?" I ask, feeling like I missed something in the conversation.
The three of them laugh and Lesley fills me in. "Well, all women can get a little crazy sometimes when it comes to men, but Juliette has her own level of craziness and I pointed that out to her when she was trying to push you away. Don't worry, though, because I think we got the kinks all worked out."